Chapter one- The Line Between Reality and Fiction

“Why won’t you talk to me, Monique?” My Auntie asked, her concerned gray eyes starring out the windshield. I continued to stare out my window to the rainy street somewhere in Berlin, Germany. It always rained here…I loved that, it reminded me so much of home. “Please, talk to me, Monique.” I looked to her and pressed a small smile to my lips, “I’m sorry Auntie, did you say something?” I often was lost in my own mind, and would drift in and out of a conversation. She just sighed, “Monique…look at you, you’ve gotten so pale, you used to be full of life, your blue eyes were…” She choked on her words, “It’s almost like you’re empty now.” I didn’t understand, was she crying? I didn’t want her to cry did I make her cry? Did I do that…? “Don’t cry Auntie, I’m not sad anymore.” “That’s just it Monique…you’re not sad, you’re not happy, you don’t mourn, you’re not…doing…anything.” I pulled my eyebrows together, “Do you want me to cry?” I remembered crying was bad, “No! No, absolutely not…I just want you to feel something!” I bit my lip, “I do.” “No…I don’t think you do.” She looked to my clothes, I was wearing black running shoes, a pair of black jeans, a white strap shirt, and a old navy black hoodie, My dark, straight black hair freely sitting behind me, some falling in my face. “Monique…” “Auntie, I don’t know what to feel, I don’t know what to say, or do.” She looked at me shocked, a faint hint of happiness in her eyes, “You admit it? Good…that’s a step towards getting better.” She seemed overly pleased, that’s when the pain hit. I let down the shield, and the pain hit me before I noticed it, I had fake smiled to her…while a tear was falling. Her happiness faded, but shot back, her own tears forming, “Monique...” She pulled the car over into an empty parking lot, and I cried with her…we sobbed. We cried for her sister. We cried for that woman’s dark brown hair and brilliant blue eyes, and her delicate smile, and small hands. And her Brother-in-law’s topaz eyes and his golden locks, his lop-sided smile. We cried for her sister and brother-in-law, we cried for my mother and my father.