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Thanks for downloading this free eBook. Share it with your friends, it’s free! But, please don’t share it with members of the clergy. Because it’s free this book may be reproduced, copied and distributed for non-commercial purposes, as long as it remains in its original form. You want to be a novelist, write your own novel.

This book is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or places, events or locales is purely coincidental. The characters are productions of the author’s imagination and used fictitiously.

Please note that I use New Zealand spelling throughout. You will see doubled letters (e.g. focussed), ou’s (e.g. colour) and ‘re’ (centre) as well as a few other differences from American spelling.

There are many thanks to be laid out for this book. The researchers, the readers, the inspirations, the people who actually live a life like this; you’ve made this possible. I’d praise you all individually, but I’m afraid mentioning your names would be far too incriminating. If you know you were part of the making of this book then I offer you my thanks and my gift to you is the knowledge that you were part of this book.



The people portrayed within these pages are not role-models. They’re not even real. They’re figures of literary imagination. Some of the things they do and say would cause them to get hurt, injured, killed, expelled or possibly deported. In other words don’t try this at home…

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