So, I went and got fake breasts.
Did it help?? Well….. here goes…
There was a time when I was in love. And then it ended. The take away message was… small boobs. Of course, along with a bunch of other stuff but that didn’t bother me much. I don't know till date, why, but somehow the rest of the criticisms and meticulous list of my shortcomings didn't hit home as hard as that one look and said/unsaid glance.
Anywho… so AFTER the surgery, I was off on my adventure of a rebooted sex life.
Guy no. 1: uuhhh… they’re not real?? What does that mean? (did I explain?? Yeah, by locking the door behind his half naked arse).
Guy no.2 : Sweetie, that feels a little strange…what is that??
Me: My breasts. Uh.. they’re new!!
That did not happen. Apparently men like big breasts only in porn. As was explained to me in the detailed discussion we proceeded to have at 2 in the morning. Did I get laid AFTER the detailed infomercial. No!!
Guy no.3: hmmm… :) :D let’s leave it at that. He found it kinky. N it was ‘on his list’, but, what the heck…
Well…. After that. The dry spell revisited. I took a firm decision not to go out with any more men who think a bit of silicone changes my soul or something. I swear I didn’t sell it. Paid a little. Went through a lot, a LOT of pain. And voila. From a B to a C.
And here I am, my firm decision leading only to a very varied exposure to men's reactions to breast jobs. None of them culminating in the aforementioned goal of getting some action. Since none of the men I've spoken to seem to get beyond the superficial implications of a surgery. So much for my bright plans.