Collection of Jokes to make you Laugh!
There was once this blonde, who was taking the road in only twenty miles per hour, in a car. She was passing by a wheat field, when she saw another blonde girl, out in the wheat, with a rowboat. To the first blonde's surprise she was trying to row through the wheat! In a sudden rage, she brought the car to a halt and marched to the edged of the wheat field. "You know! It's dumb blondes like you that give us a bad reputation!" She shook her first at the Rowing Blonde. "If I could swim, I would give you what what's coming!"
The Haunted Room
Three guys went to a hotel, passing a crying women who was screaming about finding her three year old son, but the guys were tired and weary and asked if their were any available rooms left. The manager sighed, and said no. Then when the three men turned to leave the manager cried "Wait!" The guys turned back. "There is one room- but most people think it's haunted." The guys laughed so hard they dropped their luggage. "We don't believe in that kind of thing!" They assured the manager. The first guy went up, and heard a voice from the closet. "I've got you where I want you, and now I'm gonna to eat you!" A high pitched voice cried. In terror the first man jumped out the window (landing in a hospital a few min. later). The second man came up and heard the same thing. He raced for the doorway, and tripped over the stairs, requiring a special visit to a foot specialist. The third man opened the door, and listened. "I've got you where I want you, and now I'm gonna eat you!'' The man walked over to the closet and yanked the doors open. There was a toddler in the closet with a booger on his finger.
Hurricane! Tornado! Fire?
There was a brunette, a blonde, and a red head. They were all being chased by a gunman that wanted to shot them. The raced through the woods with the man right behind them. The brunette had to do something. She turned around, and just as the man cried, "Ready, aim-" She yelled, "Hurricane!" The man turned around and the brunette escaped. He began chasing the red head, and the blonde. When the gun man started to catch up the red head knew she needed to save herself. When the guy yelled, "Ready, aim-" She yelled, "Tornado!" He turned around, and off she went. Now, it was just the blonde. When he started to catch up to her, she turned around just as he was saying, "Ready, aim-" The blonde thought frantically, and screamed, "Fire!"
A man pulled into a 5 star hotel and asked to use the bathroom. "We have 5 kinds!" The manager smiled. "Pink, bouncy, glass, wood, and singing." The man shrugged and headed for the restrooms. When he got there he groaned- the pink was too girly! He changed and went to bouncy, but complained that he just bounced off every time he sat down. He tried glass, but slid off. The wood poked splinters into his rear, while he muttered curses on the toilet. Finally, when he reached the last toilet nothing happened. So once, he sat down he heard a sound come out- do you see what I see?
All sorts of sounds
A blonde, brunette, black, and red head were being pursued by assassins. "We need to hide!" The black pointed out, as they ran. The red head nodded yes, and the brunette led the way. The blonde followed, in confusion. When the assassins reached the store, the looked in. They rapped on one crate first. "Is anyone in there?" They asked. The sign was labeled CATS. The brunette, did in her best voice- "Mew, mew, mew!" They moved on. The next one was labeled DOGS. "Anyone in there?" The criminal asked again. "Woof! Woof! Woof!" The next was labeled HORSE. The black waited and heard the men say, "Someone there?" "Neigh! Neigh! Neigh!" She cried in her best mimic. The next crate was labeled POTATOES. The murderers were annoyed now, but asked, "HELLO?" The blonde racked her brain. Finally she shouted, "Potatoes! Potatoes! Potatoes!"