“You never did tell us why you broke up with him,” Mom says.
I jump in ahead of her, “Because, Mother—he is a fart with a face. I could carve a better man out of a potato for her.”
“Must you be so crass, Lily? Not to mention answering a question that’s directed toward me. I have a brain and a mouth. Please don’t do that again.”
“You’re so diplomatic, Angel. Don’t you ever get tired of being superior?”
Giving me her sternest, motherly look, Mom says, “Leave her alone. She is perfect the way she is. She’s surrounded by two smart-mouths and is a breath of fresh air around here. Sometimes we need someone who’s grounded like your sister.”
“Thanks, Mom,” she smiles.
I assume it is due to our mother’s defense of her. I know she doesn’t have it in her to be sarcastic. She tries sometimes and I applaud her for that, but really, our mom is right. She is a breath of fresh air and we desperately need her. Just don’t tell her how I feel.
“You’re welcome, dear. But, to put in my two cents about Walter, I think the aliens forgot to remove his anal probe. He’s not very intelligent. If you want my opinion, he has the IQ of belly button lint.” Then, without missing a single beat, she slipped right into June Cleaver mode and continued, “Now put the next batch of cookies in the oven and I’m going to put some soup on for lunch. Lily, can you make some sandwiches?”
“Before or after the cookies are done?”
“You can do more than one thing at a time, can’t you, sister darling?” Angel asks in her most innocent voice and with her best smile showing.