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This is the Big Question. We all want love, we all want to be liked. A good number of guys want the latest woman they’ve seen or met who blew their socks off to feel the same way about them – want her to bestow her sexual favours upon them without them having to:

work extra hard for a long time to seduce her

make a major commitment to her up front

dump their existing partner who is perhaps really very appropriate for them, if only they hadn’t got used to her (and maybe a bit bored!)

And of course something similar may well happen in reverse – there are many many women who would dearly love the man of their choice to go along with their wishes.

However, bear in mind that there are in fact quite a number of different ways of asking the question “How would you like to influence your future partner?” – and it’s important to know which one of them may be the right one for you:

How can I get someone to like me?

How can I get someone to love me?

How can I get someone to want or desire me?

How can I get someone to be sexually addicted to me?

How can I keep the partner I’ve got interested in me long-term?

The Need for a Moral Approach and an Acknowledgement of your Cultural Norms

To begin with it is critical that we consider the ethics or morality of the question that we gauge to be right for us.

This must take into account the primary status quo ethical position accepted (rightly or wrongly) in the developed world, that one partner, as long term as possible, is all that is allowed us. In some cultures this rule applies only to women.

The next step down in acceptability is serial monogamy, in which we only ever have one partner at one time, but do accept in principle that we (and they!) need a change from time to time, so during a lifetime we can easily get through quite a number of partners, depending on how we view the “from time to time” bit.

Finally, the least acceptable course – and maybe, say I, the most ideal for many men – is the portfolio or library approach. In this lifestyle version, we have two or more partners and share our time and our favours amongst them. Some cultures do accept this position, but for men only.

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