by Zen Cho
Copyright 2012 Zen Cho
Photograph used in cover image by
Panorama Media/PanoramaStock/Getty Images
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I had tea with the intolerable aunt today. Aunt Iris, the one who is so rich she has a new fur every year, and so mean she has installed a tip box by the door of every WC in her house, so you have to pay a charge every time you need to go. And so sinfully vainglorious I remember she came to visit us at home once and wore a wonderful glossy black mink fur. She sat on the sofa with a fixed grin on her face, sweating gallons in the heat. Ma had to send Koko out to get the doctor. It was just before New Year and Ma was terrified Aunt Iris would go into an apoplexy in our drawing room--which would have been such bad luck.
I had my angle of attack all planned out today, though. On Wednesday I'd found out how much a piece of chocolate cake cost at the restaurant, and I went in with the exact change in my purse. When the waiter asked me what I wanted, I said: "Chocolate cake, please", and I counted out my coins and paid him right then and there.
"I haven't got any more money than that," I explained.
Aunt Iris was furious: she looked like an aunt and she was wearing her furs, of course. Even the English must have thought it peculiar. But even so she didn't offer to pay. She ordered two different kinds of cake and a pot of their most expensive tea, just to show me. But I profited in the end because she couldn't finish even half of one of her slices of cake. I whipped out my notebook and tore out a page and wrapped the other slice in that.