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“So what are these National Treasures I have to find?” Henry Potty asked.

“The Mega Death Laser 3000, the Bucket of Extra Lives, and the Very Wizardly Hat. The latter can produce bunnies and trick decks of cards, and all manner of wondrous marvels. Some even say…” Here Bumbling Bore paused dramatically. “…it is alive! Most don’t, of course, but it’s still a groovy accessory.”

“And you think I should find all three? Even though I’m up to my ears in quests and items already? I mean, the motorhome’s bursting at the seams.”

Bumbling Bore nodded sagely. “You also need to find the thirteen treasures of Britain, the fourteen things on my laundry list, the three Unbelievable Curses—”

“Got those,” Henry muttered. “You were gullible enough to let Frankenstein teach us in our fourth year.”

“…A Golden Ticket, the Subtle Compass, Santa’s wishlist, Carmen Santiago, the lost plunger, the Last Manticore, the six great Stopsigns of the Light, a bottle of dehydrated water, the Perfect Chicken Strip, the Used Handkerchief of Destiny Upon Which Angels Themselves…”

“Forget it. I’m just going after the Plot Devices!”

Bumbling Bore nodded sagely. He didn’t know any other way to nod. “Then you’re a better man than I. You’ve passed the test. Many would’ve been tempted by hot babes, unlimited wealth, and domination over the entire earth. But, no, you choose to risk your life destroying the worthless fragments of Lord Revolting.”

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