And yet, they seemed strangely acquiescent when it was suggested that the young people of Canaan be allowed to marry freely with Jacob’s sons and daughters in the future. “I think we can agree to that,” said Jacob, “as long as our traditions are respected.”

The Canaanites were delighted. Jacob was a very wealthy man.

“Of course,” Jacob demurred, “our daughters could not be expected to marry any men who have not gotten circumcised...”

“Oh, naturally we would be willing...uh...what’s circumcised, and how do we get it?”

“Our men have their foreskins removed. It’s done when they’re still babies...a simple operation.”

The Canaanite men all blanched. Every one. “Can’t an exception be made,” they pleaded, “in the interest of diversity?”

“Sorry. We can’t negotiate on this one. It’s a deal breaker.”

Seeing Jacob’s fortune slipping from their grasp, the Canaanites reluctantly agreed.

Now, no one had pointed out to them the fact that this particular operation, which was relatively minor in infancy, could be uncomfortable when performed on grown men. No matter—they found out soon enough. But they had little time to regret their decision because while they hobbled around, weak and whiney, two of Dinah’s brothers murdered every last one of them including Shechem, not neglecting to loot and pillage and take the residual Canaanite women for themselves.

On their return, Jacob sensed that they might have gone a little too far in their righteous anger over the seduction of their sister. (The looting may have put it over the top...after all, they had already collected a lot of nifty bridal gifts). He feared that the other inhabitants of the neighbourhood might think badly of him and, in those days, that could result in some serious retaliatory destruction. He consulted The Lord, who wisely advised him to pack up and move on—fast.