The Von Barkingham Method
By Tom Lichtenberg
Copyright 2012 by Tom Lichtenberg
Smashwords Edition Copyright 2012 by Tom Lichtenberg
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My name is Cedric Von Barkingham and I wish I had never met myself. If I had not met myself - a particular one of my selves, I should say, to be precise - then I would never have found out exactly when and how I was going to die and then maybe I wouldn't have wound up becoming the most detested person in the history of the world and maybe even none of this would ever have happened. No, wait a minute. That can't be right. It would have all happened anyway. It had to happen. There was no way around it. Well, maybe so, maybe not, I'll leave that debate to posterity instead of wasting the very little time I have left to jot down these notes in a last ditch attempt to justify or at least to explain myself to the most hostile audience any writer has ever faced. You.