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Please note that while story is set in Scotland, and the expressions that the characters use are of Scottish origin, the spelling is in American English since the majority of my readers are from the USA.


Chapter 1

A Grand Opening celebration is underway at Mr. Eggface World, a medium sized theme park that caters for mostly young children. It’s covered from top to bottom with images of Mr. Eggface, a cheap plastic toy that kids stick interchangeable facial features to

At a podium, a cheese ball CEO with perfect hair and teeth speaks. “I want to thank you all for coming out to the Grand Opening of Mr. Eggface World, the preeminent theme park in the southern west-most section of the Northeast. Much of the thanks goes to the award-winning developer and designer Roger Diobair.” He pauses for everyone to clap, but silence descends as the crowd wonder who he is talking about.

A few moments later, Roger Diobair, a wiry, sandy haired man in his forties, hurries up to the platform. He’s enthusiastic and proud, and dressed in his best suit. He yells out. “Hello, everybody! Thanks for coming out.”

A few people clap, but most just stand there and stare. Roger continues, trying to look as enthusiastic as possible. “I’d like to thank my family.”

He scans the crowd, searching and eventually finding Jess, sixteen and perpetually annoyed. She wears a ‘Life is Lame’ T-shirt, and pops bubbles rhythmically while texting.

She doesn’t take any notice of him, so he turns to Alex, thirteen. He wears a ‘I Love Cows’ T-shirt, and whoops in glee as he rides a slow-moving cow through the crowd, who reel in disgust as the cow drops a load.

Roger turns away and finds Samantha, his wife, a natural beauty with long blonde hair in her thirties. He stares as he sees that she is making out with the CEO. He double takes and sweats bullets. “Er... Um...”

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