Of course, just being a big, flashy being doesn’t necessarily mean you’re entirely happy about it. There are assumptions made, after a while, that those who claim to be the most popular ‘kin, like wolves, elves and dragons, are just pretending. Faolan Ruadh, a wolf therian, says “I often wish it had been Pangolin or Hyena or Cockroach or Pigeon that I’d been drawn to, since so many people identify with large, aesthetically-pleasing carnivores and to express alliance with Wolf is to invite people to think of you as a thoughtless New Age nutjob with infantile power issues.” While some people may see someone’s ‘kin side as something really cool and enviable, s/he may not feel the same way. Ravenari explains, “My awakening to Raven was difficult…They were loud, unwieldy, ugly birds to me…Raven was nothing but a pest, it didn’t help that many of my family members who have ‘raven’ as a family totem, are unsavoury, unlikeable people.”

Many people with common ‘kin selves do thoroughly question themselves, sometimes particularly so because they want to be sure they’re not just settling on the first possible choice. However, it’s also important to avoid a “truer-than-thou” contest as people argue as to who of the elves, dragons, and therianthropes are real, and who are the posers supposedly swelling the ranks and skewing the data. It’s enough to say, I believe, that the “why” of numbers is nowhere near as important as the “why” of individuals.

A Day in the Life of Otherkin

Otherkin don’t always advertise as such to non-’kin. We don’t have “I am an elf/dragon/wolf” tattooed on our foreheads (though some of us have more discreet tattoos that are related to being ‘kin); those who dress for their ‘kin selves usually are assumed to be parts of other subcultures, such as pagans, goths, or hippies. Coming out of the ‘kin closet is generally reserved for people who are known to be ‘kin-friendly. In the event that Otherkin come out to people who are completely clueless about us, the reaction can be pretty underwhelming. It’s a rare case when someone actually gets a serious negative reaction (and being told you’re weird or crazy doesn’t count). I’ve yet to hear of anyone being forcibly institutionalized, drugged, disowned, or otherwise abused for coming out as ‘kin. The worst that tends to happen is teasing and gossip. (If you’re Otherkin and complaining about being persecuted, check out http://www.gender.org/remember/, which is an online memorial for people who have been murdered for being transgendered. Kind of puts things in perspective, doesn’t it?) This isn’t to say that worse situations can’t and don’t happen, but for the most part they’re pretty rare (For more information on coming out, please see Chapter 9, “So You Think You’re Otherkin”).