You may be asking yourself right now who this sad bastard is, setting in front of this computer, crying like an idiot. That's, we'll let’s call him Ed, for now. Do you see his hand shaking? I told him he didn't have it in him, that he was too much of a coward. Always has been. Always will be.
Sure he's taken risks before, but those were usually only after a half bottle of Tequila. That's a sad life if you ask me. Never having the faith, in yourself, to take a chance. Never believing you're good enough to strive for more. Never wanting more for that matter. It's pathetic, sickening even. How can you live in a time of such opportunity and not want more than you already have?
Who am I? How rude of me, my name is Allan. I'm a simple man, with simple pleasures. A nice slice of pizza and football on the TV and I'm set, but that's enough about me. After all, Ed is the man with the problem, so let’s get back to him.
It's undeniable; we've all had that thought. That feeling. You know, the "I can't do this anymore," or "it's too hard to go on, to keep fighting," but what separates the weak from the strong is that the weak are ironically strong enough to pull that trigger, so to speak.
So who could blame him for coming to this? Anyone with half a brain, that’s who. How could an ending ever be the best option? Especially when you’re taking away what's most important to me. Life is like an M. Night Shyamalan movie, we all know the ending is going to suck, but it's all the twists that get you there, that make it worth wanting to be a part of.
I never should have taunted him. I never should have planted the idea. Maybe I'm a bigger fool than he is, or maybe I know he's stronger than that. I do know him better than anyone after all. Hell, I’ve been here for him since we first met, a few days after I moved in. He's the brains and I'm the brawn. Always been that way, always will be, and as much as I hate his indecisiveness, I'd hate to see him leave even more; which would effectually snub my future as well because as independent as I like to be, our fates are linked.
So I guess it's time to be proactive. It's time to look in the mirror and stay his hand, our hand. I guess I will have to become the mainstay around here before he gets the nerve to squeeze that trigger and, in turn, blow away the only home I've ever known. It’s time for Allan to take center stage in this little two person show of ours, and for Ed to slip behind the curtains.