Smashwords Edition of DEAD(ish) by Naomi Kramer – published 2009

Second Edition published 2010

The Boring – aka 'Legal' - Stuff

Copyright to this ebook and the content therein is held by Naomi Kramer.

This ebook is distributed under a Creative Commons License - Attribution and Non-Commercial Use specified. In simpler terms, this means that you are welcome to copy the file and pass it on to friends, family, enemies, whatever. You can even change the formatting or fix the weird Aussie spelling if you really want. But you're not permitted to make money from it, and you'll need to attribute my work to me.

If you'd like to use this ebook in ways not permitted by the license, get in contact with me. I'm generally fair and reasonable. My email address is nomesque@gmail.com.

This ebook is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual people – living, dead or in between – is pure coincidence.

The cover art is by Katerina Vamvasaki.

Prelude

"LOOK," he said, cutting across yet another plea, "You're dead. You need to accept that."

"But -"

"No. Stop pretending to be alive. It's stupid. It's creepy. Now GO. THE. HELL. AWAY."

She crossed her arms and stared at him.

"Never."

He rolled his eyes and stomped away.

“Women!” he muttered. “Can't live with 'em, can't escape even by killing 'em.”

Mike

"You're like a priest, right? You aren't allowed to testify against me and shit? Not quite? Oh, fuck it. I don't care anymore. Help me out, I pay you, and then if you want you can dob me in. I'm too tired to give a shit, I just wanna get rid of the bitch.