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5 things you should do when getting a tattoo

Yes just 5, if you follow these rules, you will never be disappointed

1: when getting a tattoo make sure that it’s the name of your girlfriend, sure things aren’t going well, so what, this tattoo will show her that you love her, who knows it might even get your relationship back on track and shell ask you for your hand in marriage, just make sure the ring is a silver one with a big diamond in it, nothing says manly like a guy with a diamond ring on

2. Throw caution to the wind, get drunk and head to the nearest tattoo store and pick out the one that looks a lot like a hot pink rose, this will show everyone that you’re just a big flower that everyone can appreciate and say “he’s brilliant for getting that!

3. When getting a tattoo, get something that you think is cool, who cares if it doesn’t look good in the future, it will look awesome to everyone no matter what!!!

4. When getting a tattoo make sure that your at home with someone who’s been doing it for a few months, as a matter of a fact, do it with your friend, cousin, or family member who just got out of prison, he’s probably seen enough of these things done that he’s an expert already, if you can’t find one, go to some guy off the street and ask him if he’s a tattoo artist and that you’ll pay him to do it, if he says yes take his word for it and take him home or a secluded area where no one can hear you scream or cry( don’t call the police, cops are for sissies!)

5. If you don’t have the money or a person or anything, just do it yourself!

It’s incredibly easy, just go melt some crayons and mix it with ink, then go to your father’s cabinet or local drugstore and buy a shaving razor, or pick one off the floor at the local morgue or off a dead body by hacking up his stomach and pulling it out (it’s probably used, use it! because the stuff the other person had will go into you and strengthen your immunity and you will be immune to that disease) and your good to go!

Follow these rules and you will turn from a tattoo less freak, to an upstanding and cool citizen

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