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An Over-sexed, Super-smart, Foul-mouthed Brat

(Book I of The Alice Trilogy)

Janis Hoffman

Copyright 2015 by Ernest Kinnie

Smashwords Edition




My wicked foster mother called me an evil, lying, little tramp and came at me with a very sharp knife. That was a seriously bad mistake. Sweet Uncle Dave was put on trial for murder and I was sent to another foster home. When I testify, Uncle Dave’s lawyer told me to act cute, a little scared, and say how lucky I am to have such a wonderful uncle.


“Ms. Shannon, may I call you Alice?” He’s not too bright, and talks like a toad.

“Oh yes, please do.” Glance nervously around the room and shake a little. I’m a very, very good actress.

“Thank you, Alice. Would you tell the court where you were on the night your foster mother, Mrs. Delancy, was murdered?”

He made a big booboo there. I burst into hysterical tears, jumped out of the witness box, and ran down the aisle past two cops who crashed into each other trying to catch me. I’m also a very, very fast runner.

After they gave me a delicious chocolate ice cream cone, double dip, I was back on the witness stand. Oh my, all those eyes looking up at me, so full of concern and pity. People are so stupid and gullible, except for a skinny guy with a Santa Claus beard in the back of the room, and a cute little girl with long Shirley Temple curls near the front. They know I’m just having a little fun.

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