Published by Janell Loveland
Copyright 2011 Janell Loveland
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As I blow my nose with the last tissue from the second box of Kleenex, I can't help the wayward and depressing way my thoughts are turning. I don't want to be sad, I feel I have cried all I can, and yet, the tears fall endlessly.
The door has closed on the last five years of my life and I can do nothing but sit here as her footsteps retreat farther and farther away from me. Us.
Did you know that love can light a fire inside you so bright that even the deepest darkness dare not attempt to penetrate it? Did you know that that fire can burn a whole so deep in your soul that you'd pray for it to wither and turn to ash only to be free from the pain?
All those years ago, what seems like an eternity now, I'd aimlessly drifted in a loveless, smile free existence. Then, she found me. Showed me what love could be. Freed me from my insecurities. And with each passing day in her arms, I learned to smile again. Learned to dream again. Learned not to allow my gaze to waver when faced with the previously hollow reflection of myself.