Just Another Squeeze
By Chantale Reve
Copyright © 2010-2011 Chantale Reve
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Act I – The Setup
He likes using lotion. Lotion. Locomotion. Jerking forward. Self-propulsion in a plush chair. Instead of chugging, lots of tugging. No diesel in his engine but billowing steam — his breath hot against the air-conditioned frigidness of his corner office. He is at full throttle. A bit of right-handed velocity, and here comes the viscosity. Vertical. Volcanic. Pure physics embodied in a nearly hairless Homo sapiens with a one-track mind. This description fits my boss, a seasoned accountant named Mr. McPhee, whom I’ve assisted for the past two years.