Farting in Church - Articles of Faith and Failure
Anthony R. Elmore
Copyright 2011 Anthony Ray Elmore
Table of Contents
The Ramens and the Robo Cashier
I began feeding coins into the coin slot. Each time I entered a coin the robo-cashier said “Please Insert Payment.” Every time.
This Line Has No Beginning and No End
The trick of bureaucratic jujitsu is to be over-prepared. I had all my forms ready with a list of references, my social security card, termination email, and a voided blank check for the direct deposit.
Farting in Church
With an angel-deafening bluster, a fart roared through the gymnasium, climbing to a forte then ascending to a piccolo then down another register.
What Happens in Amsterdam Stains in Amsterdam
On my drab sweater, the consequence ran in a long, diagonal streak from my belly to my right shoulder. I desperately tried to dab it off with the toilet paper but just got smeared.