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Farting in Church - Articles of Faith and Failure


Anthony R. Elmore

Copyright 2011 Anthony Ray Elmore


Table of Contents

The Ramens and the Robo Cashier

I began feeding coins into the coin slot. Each time I entered a coin the robo-cashier said “Please Insert Payment.” Every time.

This Line Has No Beginning and No End

The trick of bureaucratic jujitsu is to be over-prepared. I had all my forms ready with a list of references, my social security card, termination email, and a voided blank check for the direct deposit.

Farting in Church

With an angel-deafening bluster, a fart roared through the gymnasium, climbing to a forte then ascending to a piccolo then down another register.

What Happens in Amsterdam Stains in Amsterdam

On my drab sweater, the consequence ran in a long, diagonal streak from my belly to my right shoulder. I desperately tried to dab it off with the toilet paper but just got smeared.

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