Robert could hardly remember what happened after that. He could hear his mother sobbing in the next room; he vaguely recalled leading her outside to their carriage, and he was able to sense the muddy, dreary trip back to the White House. And then he heard Tad’s plaintive cries: “They’ve killed Papa dead! They’ve killed Papa dead!” But from there on out, he couldn’t remember a thing.

Robert’s state lasted for days, until he forced himself to his senses. The funeral arrangements had to be made, the estate had to be settled, and the new President had to move into the White House. Mary Lincoln was too grief-stricken to do much of anything, so the responsibility again fell on Robert’s shoulders. He found that being busy helped him deal with his grief, but there was one thing he simply couldn’t handle— namely his guilt.

Robert kept asking himself why he had declined his father’s invitation. He learned that there had been one empty seat in the theater box that night, and it would have been Robert’s if he had agreed to attend. That seat was just to the right of the door, so Robert would have seen Booth enter, and he could have stopped him before he reached his father. Robert soon found himself obsessing over the matter. He spent a great deal of time at the shuttered Ford’s Theatre; he would sit alone in the box, which was still stained with blood, and he would try to reenact the scene. He was convinced that he could have saved his father’s life if he had been there.

On May 22, the Lincolns left the nation’s capital and moved back to Illinois. The original plan had been to head home to Springfield, but Mary couldn’t bear to be reminded of her husband, so the family went to Chicago instead. Chicago turned out to be the right place for all of them. Robert was able to finish his law studies, and his mother was able to rebuild her life while staying close to her friends. Tad managed to grow up in a fairly normal way.

During that time, the family’s money was tight. With their breadwinner gone, the Lincolns had to find new ways to make ends meet. Abraham Lincoln did leave an inheritance— having run a successful law practice for years— but he hadn’t left a will, which meant that his estate had to go through probate court. That was a long drawn-out process, and the family saw little money until it was over.