I love the direction you are trying to go with the cultural differences and challenges between the two main characters. This one has great potential, but the writing style makes it difficult to enjoy. At first I was put off by the statement, "as obvious as a darkies lips and nose," but when I got over the shock of such an offensive comparison I read more. I see where you are trying to go with this story, but unfortunately it doesn't quite get there. Writing style is extremely important; it is how you convey the crux of your story to the audience. Some of the essence of this one was lost in translation. With a little editing it could be much better.
This was a very sweet story. It definitely lived up to its title of "A Modern Fairytale." Characterization and plot development could have used a little more work, but it was an entertaining read. Overall it was good.
Interesting twist in the end. The foreshadowing was good, but it would have been nice to have some more details about what Nosa's mother thinks has happened to her. I do not know enough about the culture to intuitively figure out who the enemies are and what the mother thinks they did to Nosa. I would love to know though.
This one has a bit of a rough start, but it was worth hanging in until the end. It was a very sweet story, and I enjoyed it. My only issue is the formatting problems in the beginning. The smashwords style guide gives details on how to properly format your ebook file.
How can a story this short be riddled with typos and grammar mistakes?? This is why self published writers have so little acceptance in the industry. Besides the mechanical mistakes, the characters weren't that interesting and the dialogue between them wasn't engaging at all. I won't be reading the next installment.
For some reason my first attempt at a review posted with only one star... I was trying to give it three.
A lot of passion and lingering, smoldering looks...but not much else to this one. Many of the scenes feel repetitive and redundant. I almost stopped reading it halfway through, but I stuck it out. The writer does have a good sense of how to describe emotional moments, it's just that there were too many of the same type of moments crammed into this story. If felt very laborious, and there wasn't much emotional fulfillment in the conclusion. So much of the sexual tension was simmering when the child was close by, and that didn't sit right with me. If both adults had been so concerned with her health, it seems that they would have been more mindful of her presence. Sophie just felt like so much of an afterthought for both of the adults.
I thoroughly enjoyed this book. The heat index was a bit high for me, but it worked GREAT. Usually books with lots of smoking hot physical chemistry skimp on the emotional connection, but this book had it all. Thanks for the great read, Nana!