I'm an avid reader who enjoys all sorts of books and I'm partial to new writers!
This member has not published any books.
Smashwords book reviews by AvidReader4You
- The Pecan Stand
on May 06, 2012
This book will appeal to many different types of readers... it made me laugh and cry. I could not put it down.
- Wind-Scarred (The Will of the Elements, Book 1)
on May 08, 2012
I just finished reading Wind-Scarred. The second half of the story was better than the start. Frankly, I almost deleted it at page 159. But, I persevered because I saw sparks of a good storyteller – that, and I was half way through and I hate to quit a book when I've invested that much time.
I'm betting you're wondering what I took issue with – flagrant overuse of adverbs. Just for example, in the first 50 pages of your story you use the word "smile" 21 times. Of those, you tack an adverb on 13 times.
Your storyline is good, although it is close to the cartoon Avatar – but you've put enough of your own spin on it to make it interesting. Your dialogue is mostly tight, although sometimes the voices feel forced. Mat's voice seems to be the tightest.
I think that you've a good story here, but you could do with a serious editing.
If you want more feedback – or tell me I'm outa my thunderin' mind... you can find me here: facebook.com/pages/AvidReader4You/