The Beach is Back: A Surfland Novel
by Barton Grover Howe
Price: $7.99 USD. 104170 words.
Published on May 22, 2012. Fiction.
Hot fun in the summertime? Overrated. Or so says wild-mannered part-time reporter Jackson Poe, anyway, after the third attempt on his life in as many days leaves him coated in steaming mammal blubber. And that’s just at work. Throw in a barista with an attitude — and an underhand to match — and Howe once again shows, with a South Florida style, that it’s always more fun to be back on the beach.
Location: United States
Member Since: Feb. 02, 2011
Barton Grover Howe
Biography
Barton Grover Howe is a high school teacher and humor columnist who has spent most of the last 10 years teaching, being a mascot and generally not being near as funny as he thinks he is. A former newspaper reporter, hotel manager, aquarium diver, stand-up comedian, forcibly retired Disney On Ice performer and professional mascot, Barton Grover Howe has combined his experiences and skills from all of those environments to create writing with a voice like no other. Living proof that you don’t need hurricanes blowing the palm trees sideways to get beach slapped time and again.
He currently resides in the only small town on the Oregon coast that has seven miles of coastline and not one boat dock. He is married to the most patient woman on earth and is father to the cutest daughter in the universe, who got all of her looks from her mother.
He currently resides in the only small town on the Oregon coast that has seven miles of coastline and not one boat dock. He is married to the most patient woman on earth and is father to the cutest daughter in the universe, who got all of her looks from her mother.
Where to find Barton Grover Howe online
Website: http://www.bartongroverhowe.com
Facebook: Facebook profile
Blog: http://beachslappedlco.com
Facebook: Facebook profile
Blog: http://beachslappedlco.com
Books
Cats with Thumbs: A Beach Slapped Humor Collection: 2010
by Barton Grover Howe
Price: $2.99 USD. 35560 words. Published on November 20, 2011. Nonfiction.
“If cats had opposable thumbs, they’d kill us all with tiny pistols. They’re evil little animals.” Yep, it’s another year of “Beach Slapped” with amazon.com best-seller Barton Grover Howe. His pregnant wife and allegedly-caring women; a womb with a view; and tuning out ‘Turn Off Your TV Week’: It’s all here, as Barton gives readers 52 reasons to laugh again.
Price: $2.99 USD. 35560 words. Published on November 20, 2011. Nonfiction.
“If cats had opposable thumbs, they’d kill us all with tiny pistols. They’re evil little animals.” Yep, it’s another year of “Beach Slapped” with amazon.com best-seller Barton Grover Howe. His pregnant wife and allegedly-caring women; a womb with a view; and tuning out ‘Turn Off Your TV Week’: It’s all here, as Barton gives readers 52 reasons to laugh again.
Addicted to Foo-foos: A Beach Slapped Humor Collection: 2009
by Barton Grover Howe
Price: $2.99 USD. 45220 words. Published on November 20, 2011. Nonfiction.
Facing his addiction to umbrella drinks is just one thing Amazon.com best-selling author humor Barton Grover Howe takes on in his latest collection. Advice to Madison Avenue on men and Colt 40 Malt Liquor; why anyone makes women’s hygiene products non-disposable; and humanity’s attempts to investigate his bedroom: Yep, it’s time to get “Beach Slapped” again.
Price: $2.99 USD. 45220 words. Published on November 20, 2011. Nonfiction.
Facing his addiction to umbrella drinks is just one thing Amazon.com best-selling author humor Barton Grover Howe takes on in his latest collection. Advice to Madison Avenue on men and Colt 40 Malt Liquor; why anyone makes women’s hygiene products non-disposable; and humanity’s attempts to investigate his bedroom: Yep, it’s time to get “Beach Slapped” again.
Flying Starfish of Death: A Beach Slapped Humor Collection: 2008
by Barton Grover Howe
Price: $5.99 USD. 54760 words. Published on November 20, 2011. Nonfiction.
One flying starfish and life’s never been the same, as amazon.com best-selling author Barton Grover Howe recounts life in the Pacific Northwest. His wife’s offensive defensive driving habits, tips for using hams to get through airport screening, and sanctimonious environmentalists who refuse to use llamas -- it’s all there to leave you “Beach Slapped.”
Price: $5.99 USD. 54760 words. Published on November 20, 2011. Nonfiction.
One flying starfish and life’s never been the same, as amazon.com best-selling author Barton Grover Howe recounts life in the Pacific Northwest. His wife’s offensive defensive driving habits, tips for using hams to get through airport screening, and sanctimonious environmentalists who refuse to use llamas -- it’s all there to leave you “Beach Slapped.”
Parrot Eyes Lost
by Barton Grover Howe
Price: $5.99 USD. 33700 words. Published on August 10, 2011. Fiction.
It's the end of world as they know it Surfland, Oregon: The town's Tiki Bar has closed, and it's up to fashion refugee Jackson Poe to save it. Facing small dogs gone wild and wild raptors gone wilder, it's up to he and his friend to unravel an unnatural conspiracy of greed, eaglet droppings and raccoon urine. Worse: they've only got one day to figure it out before it really is Parrot Eyes Lost.
Price: $5.99 USD. 33700 words. Published on August 10, 2011. Fiction.
It's the end of world as they know it Surfland, Oregon: The town's Tiki Bar has closed, and it's up to fashion refugee Jackson Poe to save it. Facing small dogs gone wild and wild raptors gone wilder, it's up to he and his friend to unravel an unnatural conspiracy of greed, eaglet droppings and raccoon urine. Worse: they've only got one day to figure it out before it really is Parrot Eyes Lost.
Beach Slapped: A Surfland Novel
by Barton Grover Howe
Price: $7.99 USD. 110880 words. Published on July 15, 2011. Fiction.
It begins with an over-sexed sea lion and ends with the spirit of Steve McQueen dispensing justice on the streets of Surfland, Oregon. In between, a nudist mascot, a pissed off young woman and a lottery ticket gone horribly right unite to make the streets safe for little old ladies. A thriller in the South Florida tradition, Howe presents a hilarious rain of weirdness on America’s wettest edge.
Price: $7.99 USD. 110880 words. Published on July 15, 2011. Fiction.
It begins with an over-sexed sea lion and ends with the spirit of Steve McQueen dispensing justice on the streets of Surfland, Oregon. In between, a nudist mascot, a pissed off young woman and a lottery ticket gone horribly right unite to make the streets safe for little old ladies. A thriller in the South Florida tradition, Howe presents a hilarious rain of weirdness on America’s wettest edge.