Lindsay Johannsen

Biography

There's not a lot to tell really, though on reflection, looking back on it through the lens of one’s recollections and memories, the whole business seems more akin to an extended Huckleberry Finn adventure, but set in the vastness of Central Australia.

Born, raised and schooled in Alice Springs; taken from the leafy glades of learning mid-way through Year-eight to work at my father's remote little copper mine; later employed for some years driving his cattle-hauling road trains – him having pioneered road trains and the cattle hauling business (see "Kurt Johannsen: A Son of the Red Centre").
Married in the fullness of time; built a bush homestead on the northern edge of the Simpson Desert and raised a family there, all while running a small tungsten mining business and provisioning the hundred or so Aboriginal people local to the area who adopted us.
Sold our mine and homestead a few years after the kids had flown the coop, acquired a forty foot (12m) touring coach, converted it into a big steel-wheel mobeel Palaise-de-passion motor home and took to the roads of this great land of Oz - in the main visiting our offspring (most of whom had moved to coastal regions), our grandchildren generally and a couple of great grandies, plus various friends and associates from years gone by.

So these days all I have to do is keep the missus happy – my Bride my Precious Lamb and Flower of the Early Mid Morning.
"Anywhere you wish, my darling," I tell her. "You just say the word and we'll be on our way."
So it's free as the breeze, we are now, out and about having wild and exciting adventures and being amazingly cool generally.

Best job I ever had.

Where to buy in print


Books

The Fat Frog Song
Price: Free! Words: 480. Language: Australian English. Published: April 30, 2015. Categories: Fiction » Children’s books » Entertainment, Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
As the name implies, this is actually a song. I could say I wrote it for the grandies but the truth is… Well it's like The Enchanted Music Box; it just came into my stream of consciousness. I wrestled the words into shape, arranged the tune that came with it and sang it onto a CD. But the world isn't ready for that just yet, so instead I've illustrated it and put it up as a poem for the littlies…
The Parker-Flinte Expedition
Price: Free! Words: 6,380. Language: Australian English. Published: April 28, 2015. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Parody, Fiction » Mashups
This is another of my pointless flights of fancy. Oh no! you say. Why do you keep writing this rubbish? Why why why? And the answer is, I don't know. I mean it's simply what comes out the end of my fingers when I start typing. A kazillionty-five rewrites in the hope of getting it to half make sense, cobble up something which might pass for a cover, take a deep breath and hit the upload button and
The Brass Pandemonium
Price: Free! Words: 2,880. Language: Australian English. Published: April 17, 2015. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General, Fiction » Mashups
As the years mount one’s outlook on life can mellow, and oft with this comes an inclination to rail less vigorously against the elements (you might say), to see one's failures in a softer light and to be less reticent in trumpeting one's triumphs – though softly still and with elemental decorum. So let me open the door on my private life and affairs the merest fraction and I’ll tell you a story…
The Gift
Price: Free! Words: 5,040. Language: Australian English. Published: March 30, 2015. Categories: Fiction » Women's fiction » General, Fiction » Romance » Action/adventure
Ingrained ideas and notions often prevent those of widely differing cultural backgrounds from getting along, though from time to time events conspire to rub their noses in it. This story involving my Dad and Step Mum is true, but I was just an eight YO schoolboy and so only overheard fragments of it being told to others. As a result I've had to paint a picture around it and change or invent names…
The Granny In The Red GTS
Price: Free! Words: 3,630. Language: Australian English. Published: March 15, 2015. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
The grandmother mentioned here, Dear Reader, was my beloved stepmother, and the story, in essence, is true. Yet painting a picture faithful to her person and personality meant applying a little poetic licence (so to speak), an indulgence I hope you will understand and appreciate. And what has it been? …seventeen, nearly eighteen years? And, even now, to write these final pages still weighs heavy.
A Ring For Angelina
Price: Free! Words: 9,120. Language: Australian English. Published: March 9, 2015. Categories: Fiction » Romance » General, Fiction » Romance » Short stories
A Love Story – 1949, the Harts Range mica fields north east of Alice Springs in Central Australia: difficult conditions, demanding work, hard times generally, a seemingly worsening situation … and Christmas approaching.
Tales From The Tar Baby "...Up The Track"
Price: Free! Words: 13,540. Language: Australian English. Published: February 18, 2015. Categories: Nonfiction » Travel » Road travel, Fiction » Mashups
(5.00)
Being memories and observations from selected events and personal experiences gathered during trips from Alice Springs to Darwin over one's lifetime, fifteen hundred K's from the Red Heart to the Top End – most recently in our retirement motor-home Tar Baby. How boring, thinks you. And so did I at first, but as I started writing I began to remember things, some recent and others from my childhood…
Sweat Dreams
Price: Free! Words: 3,150. Language: Australian English. Published: January 9, 2015. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General, Fiction » Mashups
Dreams are just dreams, right? And as Jack Cadney says in my towering literary work "McCullock's Gold", how can dreams have any meaning when everything in them is so crazy? …And yet, on rare occasions, someone dreams some winning lottery numbers or which horse will win the Melbourne Cup. Oh yes. And for your information, a "Sydney Harbour" is the standard Australian unit of mega-gargantuan volume.
The Enchanted Music Box
Price: Free! Words: 9,230. Language: Australian English. Published: December 30, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Children’s books » Family / General
(5.00)
I wrote this little piece some years back for my grand daughter's tenth birthday. It's a story about a girl on the cusp of turning ten, her grandfather, an antique music box and some very special magic. It turned out a little longer than I’d intended, as it happened, but, you know, you get that. --Oh yes. And "She'll be jake" is dated Aussie slang for "It'll be okay", but I'm a bit dated meself.
The Three Wizened Men
Price: Free! Words: 1,950. Language: Australian English. Published: December 21, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General, Fiction » Mashups
(4.50)
Nothing happens in isolation. Momentous events are always accompanied by peripheral happenings, each with a greater or lesser link to the main issue. Often these affairs are overshadowed, and when the dust finally settles and the official accounts are written they are, for one reason or another, not included. Such applied to certain other doings relevant to that first Christmas Day...
Christmas Day at the Sweet Angel Mine
Price: Free! Words: 2,090. Language: Australian English. Published: November 9, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Holiday » Christmas
(5.00)
Two slightly suspect larrikins working a small remote Central Australian mine celebrate Christmas there during the height of a typically oppressive summer – hot as buggery, the odd whirlywind trying to tear their shelter apart, not a breath of wind otherwise, bushflies by the million – and a perceived wrong they see as needing a slight umm ... “adjustment”.
Kevin Cassidy The Cassidy Chronicles
Price: Free! Words: 105,100. Language: Australian English. Published: September 25, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General, Fiction » Mashups
...being the questionable memoirs of a certain North Queensland high school boy on his 1950’s journey through the leafy glades of learning. But (shock horror!), it's in the first-person present tense, the mark of a rank amateur. Yet this was the only way I could make the story work, dear reader, and you, with your perspective and experience, will judge it for yourself (hopefully with a smile).
The Adventures of Billy Boiglebird and his Small Automatic Wind Powered Galactic Space-Shrink Transporter Gizmo
Price: Free! Words: 4,070. Language: Australian English. Published: September 1, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General, Fiction » Children’s books » Entertainment
(5.00)
I wrote this story for my great grandchildren and they enjoyed it immensely. Your little grandies might like it too. And you may even find it amusing yourself … or enjoy reading it to your young’ns, anyway. (…and let me say, dear reader, that you do so with my very warmest compliments.) L.J.
My Lying Bathroom Mirror (M)
Price: Free! Words: 220. Language: Australian English. Published: August 20, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
(5.00)
A short poem, wif words what rhymes even, in celebration of your visit to my Smashwords Page.
My Lying Bathroom Mirror (F)
Price: Free! Words: 230. Language: Australian English. Published: August 20, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
(5.00)
A short poem, wif words what rhymes even, in celebration of your visit to my Smashwords Page.
The Curious Affair of Scuppers Bilgewater and the Lesser Speckled Dunk Island Scrub Hen
Price: Free! Words: 3,240. Language: Australian English. Published: August 18, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire, Fiction » Mashups
(5.00)
In my earlier days I was quite the foolhardy young rake and had a great many outrageously wild and exciting adventures. This is not one of them.
A Bushman's Tail
Price: Free! Words: 5,070. Language: Australian English. Published: August 13, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire, Fiction » Mashups
(4.50)
All countries have some interesting local characters out in their rural back blocks, but these two somewhat defective old-timers are in a league of their own.
Uncle Jasper and the Eighty Acres
Price: Free! Words: 6,570. Language: Australian English. Published: August 5, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
(3.00)
Three stars?!! ...I was hoping for three and a quarter, at least. (Ahem. ---pardon.) A look at the old rascal's life… not so much wasted exactly; more seemingly let drift. Yet things are not always as they might appear…
McCullock's Gold
Price: Free! Words: 90,690. Language: Australian English. Published: November 30, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Mystery & detective » General
(4.00)
McCullock’s gold is an Australian murder mystery set on the northern edge of the Simpson Desert. There’s an abandoned 4x4, its missing driver, some missing gold, some bad guys and some bodies - plus a smart-arse Aboriginal mechanic who helps the local bush copper solve it all, while at the same time trying not to divulge any of the sensitive cultural information lying at the heart of the affair.

Lindsay Johannsen’s tag cloud


Smashwords book reviews by Lindsay Johannsen

  • The Busy Ant on April 28, 2015

    Ants can be such busy things, They rush about all day But if they bite it really stings So don’t get in their way. (A charming little bedtime story)