As a fellow NaNowrimo writer, I read the book for it's description and because you were also a Nanowrimo participant. I read it in a day and really enjoyed it. It's an amazing book for something that was written so fast and almost unedited. It's inspirational, it has great characters and a very good pace. It's an hymn to true love really and deals realistically with post traumatic syndrome, not afraid to delve into the subject.
You say you'd like to edit it some more. So here a a few things worth mentioning. There are some typos and the use of a prologue at the end instead of an epilogue. I personally feel the last fifth of the novel (81.5% in on Kindle version) could be compacted a little. There are parts that drag on a bit with unnecessary information and feels less crisp than the rest.
You could easily ask money for this if you edited it a bit more and unfortunately cut the song lyrics that would be copyright infringement, but it's too good to be free! :)
What a wonderful book! Thank you, sincerely thank you! I got so attached to the characters I am sadden to have to let them go. I'll reread it for sure later. Not sure how to convey in writing how much it touched me, but it really did. I feel a better person having read that book. I will check your other works and will make a contribution. You well deserve it! Thanks again!!!
Pages of my Diary
on June 29, 2013
You have a very charming story here. I strongly encourage you to make it a full novel and delve some more into these characters, their background, why they are friends, expand some scenes that are summed up in narration. You really skip over a lot of scenes that could be a lot of fun to read. Maybe give the main character an emotional arc so he learns and changes over the duration of the story.
Make sure that you use proper tenses when you tell your story. Sometimes you’ll switch from present to past in the same sentence and often in two sentences linked to each other.
I really like the unusual way you have to retell a special moment that happened by saying “… and it went like this”. It felt strange at first but I got to really like as the more I read the more it created a style and a way for the narrator to express himself.
It might be a simple love story but those happen in real life and they are bittersweet. It’s definitely worth your time if you feel like making it bigger.