It's not that bad: I like it. The story line was shaky at some points for me, and really thought these reviews were going to all be true, but in fact I found this story a nice piece with zombies!
I would have loved it to be longer though (just ten or so pages, but I would have liked to keep going).
Loved the idea of heaven, and just a peach of a story!
on Aug. 27, 2010
Well, I completely missed the connection with V8 juice, but looking back it makes sense.
Wendy is real! Look up Wendy Williams on Google, watch her show, love it, and thanks for all the reviews.
Very abrupt and lacking. It just conveys a sense of fear, but it doesn't scare you, some clowns, and for some reason there was a cat... over all not really saying much. Just a short story giving little to interpret with.
Short and Shocking. "This story contains truly twisted imagery"... I've seen "twisteder", no, that's actually a lie. The imagery in this story is in fact pretty twisted. I myself love being messed with mentally, and this story really took me into the cold and the dark. Beautifully written, creatively told, and pretty freaking disturbing.
AWWWWE, but he got late because he was helping the kid out :(
Shouldn't have gotten grounded.
I loved this, but there were moments when the writing made me take a second look at to understand, and points where the writing straight out needed some proof-reading.
However, I really did love the story which ran really quickly just as the character.
Well, more of an anecdote than a story.
3 star writing, but 4 star story telling.
Try editing a little heavier next time.
Pretty writing =D
but... more of a poem than a story I would say, but whatever I still liked it.
It feels like a Prologue to a really good book, so... I'll see if that's actually the case and there is something following up to this.
If not... as I said: Great poetry.
on Dec. 26, 2010
ur always so frank, Ernest o.o
Well, that made a lot of sense.
It was just... a recording...and, uhm... yeah, that was pretty bad, writing itself was a good try, but fell very short, and to be honest the best part was the book cover.
Really, I read it twice, I wanted to like it, but this really wasn't likeable.
Thrilling!!! Kinda glad I hadn't read this on New Years or else I would have been jumping every time somebody got near me! Loved it... actually very reminiscent of Jackie Collins at the beginning, or maybe that's just my idea. Either way it was awesomeness!
Too fast :(
If you're gonna make a character who's accused of steroids make somebody above the age of fifteen. Most people don't like reading about a thirteen year old who uses drugs (or accused), but I like you setting the age at thirteen.
You went too quickly, on something I felt could have gone way better! Let's find out how his parents reacted to the accusation. He didn't show lots of emotion either :(
I just feel you were rushing yourself to create a story, which I have to call cute, but you should have hung onto it for maybe a week while you tweaked at it here, and changed it around to make it a grand story that let's the reader grasp onto the character and then gasp when their hero is accused of such a travesty!
When you write, keep yourself patient, hang onto the story for a while, and think of your character, and the characters around him, and then you'll get a "snap" moment when you go "I want this to happen too", and like that you'll give it a great plot, and character definition.
Good luck, can't wait to see your next work.
...I don't know whether to put 1 star or 5...
I'll put 5 just to be safe.
This little piece was psychologically thrilling. Is the kid crazy and did it? I wouldn't be surprised. If there's no sequel this thing will haunt me forever.
But if They exist then this has to be the start of a great series.
@BobDown And why on Earth would it not talk down to the reader? These are the masters speaking to the little folk who know nothing... well presumably.
I read this book last year and all I can say is that it is amazing. First off: Absolutely Inspiring. Second Off: Very helpful, I'm actually using the example of a query letter to try and get a literary agent (I've tried before to little avail).
All around it's a must read for any writer who aims high and any amature who doesn't plan on giving up.
Thank you for publishing this body of work, I re-read certain pages of it like once a week, my favorite source of advice in the world.