Location: United Kingdom
Member Since:
Feb. 28, 2015
Ian Clements
Biography
'Biography?' I mused, tapping my pipe on the arm of the chair in idle thought.
There was a creak to my right as a gentleman, lulled by brandy and heat of the fire, awoke to utter: 'A summation of your life, good fellow. Triumphs, pitfalls, steamy romances.'
I sipped whisky and stared into the hearth's soothing dance of flame. 'They shall not be reassured, thus. I was born before a blank page, blood black as ink for that ravenous foolscap. I have destroyed more worlds then most men view in a lifetime. Adverbs whisper to me in the darkness. My first short story was forty thousand words, and I do not understand Twitter.'
The gentleman grunted assent and drew on his cigar. 'Well then. Do you plan giveaways, some form of question and answer scenario?'
'Perhaps' I murmured, steepling fingers as a caculating smile spread across my face.
There was a creak to my right as a gentleman, lulled by brandy and heat of the fire, awoke to utter: 'A summation of your life, good fellow. Triumphs, pitfalls, steamy romances.'
I sipped whisky and stared into the hearth's soothing dance of flame. 'They shall not be reassured, thus. I was born before a blank page, blood black as ink for that ravenous foolscap. I have destroyed more worlds then most men view in a lifetime. Adverbs whisper to me in the darkness. My first short story was forty thousand words, and I do not understand Twitter.'
The gentleman grunted assent and drew on his cigar. 'Well then. Do you plan giveaways, some form of question and answer scenario?'
'Perhaps' I murmured, steepling fingers as a caculating smile spread across my face.
Where to find Ian Clements online
Books
Terror Beyond Measure: A Norton Pumblesmythe Short Story
by Ian Clements
Price:
$0.99 USD.
Words: 6,580.
Language:
British English.
Published: February 28, 2015
.
Categories:
Fiction » Humor & comedy » General, Fiction » Fantasy » Historical
(5.00 from 1 review)
Where's the best place to spend Halloween? The most haunted venue in Victorian London, of course! Terror Beyond Measure is a macabre comedy that introduces Norton Pumblesmythe; a deranged toff rewriting the history books through an absinthe glazed eye. There is no landmark event that cannot be gatecrashed, no famous figure who cannot be harassed, and no drug that cannot be mixed with alcohol.