J.M. Porup

Publisher info

Former Lonely Planet author J.M. Porup now spins a tale or two for his daily crust. He has lived on three continents, speaks six languages, and has worked as a kelp harvester, apple tree pruner, goatherd, cowherd, computer programmer, copywriter and journalist. American by birth, Australian by choice, Colombian by marriage and Canadian by accident, he currently lives in the Oriental Republic of Uruguay. His first editor--way back in the mid-90s--called him a loose cannon. Ever since, Porup has done his best to live up to that high standard.

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A Terrorist Converts: How I Learned to Stop Hating America
By
Series: A Terrorist Converts, Book 1. Price: Free! Words: 8,370. Language: English. Published: May 24, 2014 by J.M. Porup. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
Terrorist Shazam al-War bin al-Gorithm hates America. More bloodthirsty than Osama bin Laden, he’s notched his Koran so many times that nothing is left but confetti. When a SEAL team tries to take him out in the mountains of Wakistan, al-War defeats them all--and captures the Navy’s first female commando. Their unlikely romance makes him question his hatred of America.
Food-Free at Last: How I Learned to Eat Air
By
Price: Free! Words: 9,720. Language: English. Published: November 29, 2012 by J.M. Porup. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Parody
(4.17)
Food is a drug. Break the shackles of addiction and learn to eat air! In this detailed guide, Dr. Robert Jones, MD, PhD, DDS, ODD gives you the practical, step-by-step advice you need to transition to the air-only diet. Join him on the cutting edge of human evolution. Go the Power of Air!

Books

Thy Fearful Symmetry: A Tragedy for Modern Man
By
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 15,950. Language: English. Published: October 26, 2014. Category: Plays » American / African American
Attis just wants to get laid. But he doesn’t know how to be a man. Worse, he’s in love with his Women’s Studies professor at Berkeley--a known cougar. When his professor gets appointed to fill the remaining term of a retiring US Senator, Attis and his friend Larry plot to seduce and blackmail her. But their plan goes awry, and Attis’ frustration boils over into rape, murder, and self-mutilation.
A Terrorist Converts: Why I'm Voting for Hillary Clinton
By
Series: A Terrorist Converts, Book 3. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 6,960. Language: English. Published: October 25, 2014. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
Will retired terrorist Shazam al-War bin al-Gorithm adapt to his new life in America? After a lengthy baptism, the CIA give Shazam his harp and wings and admit him through those pearly gates to the Holy City Itself: Washington DC. But when he gets picked up for sleeping on a park bench, Shazam must learn to put aside his Waki ways, and embrace Hillary Clinton as his own personal savior.
Dreams Must Die
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Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 63,280. Language: English. Published: August 20, 2014. Category: Fiction » Science fiction » Cyberpunk
Jimmy Shade kills dreams. It’s his job. As a member of the elite Dream Police, he defends the Collective against that poisonous nocturnal ooze. But when Shade gets infected with a dream, he finds himself on the run from his former colleagues. He must choose between his love for the Collective--and the dream he cannot live without.
A Terrorist Converts: How I Learned to Love the NSA
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Series: A Terrorist Converts, Book 2. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 5,920. Language: English. Published: June 30, 2014. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
Five times a day, retired terrorist Shazam al-War bin al-Gorithm prays to Washington and begs forgiveness. But no answer ever comes. When Special Forces try--and fail--to rescue his wife, Shazam saves the life of a wounded NSA analyst. But is this “analyst” what he seems? Or is he actually an archangel sent down from Washington--with glad tidings of great joy--in answer to Shazam's prayers?
A Terrorist Converts: How I Learned to Stop Hating America
By
Series: A Terrorist Converts, Book 1. Price: Free! Words: 8,370. Language: English. Published: May 24, 2014 by J.M. Porup. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
Terrorist Shazam al-War bin al-Gorithm hates America. More bloodthirsty than Osama bin Laden, he’s notched his Koran so many times that nothing is left but confetti. When a SEAL team tries to take him out in the mountains of Wakistan, al-War defeats them all--and captures the Navy’s first female commando. Their unlikely romance makes him question his hatred of America.
Death on Taurus
By
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 91,800. Language: English. Published: May 3, 2013. Category: Fiction » Science fiction » General
On the bullfighting planet of Taurus, a half-man, half-bull race stages ritual blood sacrifices to the gods—human viewers light-years away. High Priest Vizzer loathes the fights and wants to end them. But when he deposes the king and outlaws the fights, Vizzer comes face to face with an enraged and ancient god. And in so doing, he must also confront the truth of his own savage nature.
Food-Free at Last: How I Learned to Eat Air
By
Price: Free! Words: 9,720. Language: English. Published: November 29, 2012 by J.M. Porup. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Parody
(4.17)
Food is a drug. Break the shackles of addiction and learn to eat air! In this detailed guide, Dr. Robert Jones, MD, PhD, DDS, ODD gives you the practical, step-by-step advice you need to transition to the air-only diet. Join him on the cutting edge of human evolution. Go the Power of Air!
The Second Bat Guano War
By
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 101,180. Language: English. Published: November 5, 2012. Category: Fiction » Mystery & detective » Hard-Boiled
(3.33)
Rats ate his baby while he partied in a disco. Now Horse is a drugged-out expat teaching English to criminals in Peru…plus doing the odd favor for the CIA. When his Agency contact goes missing, Horse uncovers his friend’s involvement with a group of terrorists who want to kill off the human “disease” infecting the earth. Can Horse find his friend in time? And when he does—will he want to stop him?
The United States of Air: a Satire
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Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 75,290. Language: English. Published: August 15, 2012. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
(5.00)
Food Enforcement Agent Jason Frolick believes in America. He believes in eating air. As part of the Global War on Fat, he puts food terrorists in Fat Camp. When a pizza dealer gets whacked across the street from the Thin House, the Prophet Jones himself asks Frolick to investigate. But what Frolick finds out shakes his faith. Will he ever be able to eat air again?
Colombia's Diversity Problem: a Speech on Tourism
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Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 18,030. Language: English. Published: April 8, 2012. Category: Nonfiction » Travel » By region
Paris, New York, Peru — they all have a symbol. An icon that draws people from around the world. But what about Colombia? Paris, NY, Perú – todos estos países tienen un símbolo. Un icono que mueve gente alrededor del mundo. Pero que hay acerca de Colombia?

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