Leo Wilkes


A windowless room somewhere in the bowels of London.

Leo is seated at an unadorned steel table which is bolted to the floor. He's looking rough around his soft edges; it's his default state. His Hawaiian shirt — Sixties vintage, yellow fruit with big green leaves — needs not only the services of a laundry, but also a complete wardrobe rethink. Leo's Guinness-stained chinos are similarly in need of an overhaul. As for his hair, sheesh. Leo is caught in a Patrick Swayze time-warp, circa '91, ref: 'Point Break'.

Sitting opposite Leo is his inquisitor, a big man, six-four and weighing in the region of two-sixty pounds, although he tells his girlfriend he's only two-twenty. The sad thing is she believes him. But he's all-powerful and Leo is a mere puppet who's about to have his strings pulled.

The inquisitor says, "Not that anyone's particularly interested, but for the record, I'm putting it to you that Leo Wilkes is a pen name. Yes or no?"

Leo reluctantly answers, "Yes."

Where to find Leo Wilkes online


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