Thank you for your free book :) Just finished reading it. When I first noticed that your story was 82 pages i thought, "well that is short" But after I started reading I coudn't help but thinking it was long. As a reader you are presented with a lot of everyday things and not much "action" The story is simply to flat. There are a few interesting moments, such as the old indian and the end of the book. But in reading the book, you are also presented with a lot of information that isn't necessary. The first thought that came to mind after finishing the book was "was that it?" I suppose I was hoping for something major in the end. You've categorised the book as beeing a horror book, with that I expect raising heart beat and getting a bit scared. But no nightmares for me tonight :)
Anyways I didn't intend to write a review just to harass you and I also have some compliments for you :)
I am not much of a sort story reader, and i dont know the standard for such. But since this book isn't very long, maybe its under the category "short story"? don't know.. so maybe this type of story with a bit of a flat plot is what a short story should be like? if so, well then forget all about my negative review :)
Other than that I think you write well and you present the charactors pretty good. In my opinion you have nice writing skills and no doubt you can write a good book, you just need a better plot. Or maybe just add some more "action or horror" to this story.
the 4 stars is for your writing ability :)
the story itself i would give 2-3 stars