Pam Wells

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Smashwords book reviews by Pam Wells

  • Child Molestation Stories: Voices of Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse (Molestation, Rape, and Incest) on Feb. 17, 2012

    I think the author did an excellent job of summurizing up the types of abuse and I like the way she talked about brief incidents as opposed to the long term ones. Some would think that the brief ones are so minor that one should just "get over it" and not let it affect their lives. Yet even a brief experience can have long lasting effects. I appreciate that she defined sexual abuse, making it clear that intercourse is not the only way a person is sexually abused. Lynn also explains what is "normal sexual play" with children as opposed to abuse. This is wonderful to include as most children do experiment a little at some point. There are many misconceptions about this subject. Especially when talking to someone who is elderly. I have found that the older generation likes to stick their head in the sand and not talk about it at all. Or once the subject has come out, then it's been spoken of, therefore dealt with and we need not discuss it again. Basically pretend it never happened. But the victim WILL need to still talk about it. They need support! Small children are very easily manipulated and I think Lynn makes that point clear when she explains why children don't tell. I'm sure many parents wonder why their child didn't say something. My mother can't get over how she didn't see it, how she couldn't know something was going on. I must say - the paragraph that made me want to cheer was the one captioned "Can people ever have "false memories" of child sexual abuse? I love the author's response to this question! Since my memories didn't come till I was in my 50's that was a question some have asked. My therapist was VERY careful to NOT plant any memories in me. I wrestled with doubts at first myself, but eventually came to accept that the memories were real. It was a very difficult journey for me. Lynn Daugherty's book is an excellent introduction to sexual abuse and gives details on how to seek more information and help. Good job!
  • Child Molestation Stories: Voices of Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse (Molestation, Rape, and Incest) on Feb. 17, 2012

    I think the author did an excellent job of summurizing up the types of abuse and I like the way she talked about brief incidents as opposed to the long term ones. Some would think that the brief ones are so minor that one should just "get over it" and not let it affect their lives. Yet even a brief experience can have long lasting effects. I appreciate that she defined sexual abuse, making it clear that intercourse is not the only way a person is sexually abused. Lynn also explains what is "normal sexual play" with children as opposed to abuse. This is wonderful to include as most children do experiment a little at some point. There are many misconceptions about this subject. Especially when talking to someone who is elderly. I have found that the older generation likes to stick their head in the sand and not talk about it at all. Or once the subject has come out, then it's been spoken of, therefore dealt with and we need not discuss it again. Basically pretend it never happened. But the victim WILL need to still talk about it. They need support! Small children are very easily manipulated and I think Lynn makes that point clear when she explains why children don't tell. I'm sure many parents wonder why their child didn't say something. My mother can't get over how she didn't see it, how she couldn't know something was going on. I must say - the paragraph that made me want to cheer was the one captioned "Can people ever have "false memories" of child sexual abuse? I love the author's response to this question! Since my memories didn't come till I was in my 50's that was a question some have asked. My therapist was VERY careful to NOT plant any memories in me. I wrestled with doubts at first myself, but eventually came to accept that the memories were real. It was a very difficult journey for me. Lynn Daugherty's book is an excellent introduction to sexual abuse and gives details on how to seek more information and help. Good job!
  • Why Me? Help for Victims of Child Sexual Abuse (Even if they are adults now) on March 01, 2012

    This book is an excellent resource for anyone who has had or is having any experience at all with sexual abuse. If you are a victim yourself the author gives you excellent advice on how to begin the healing process. If you are someone who knows or cares about a victim this is an wonderful book to read to help you understand what your loved one is going through and how you can be there for them. I am an adult survivor of childhood abuse and I repressed my memories until just the past couple of years. The author explains how sometimes that can happen and how it can affect a person. I felt like she had been there, watching me grow up - or had peeked inside my head! I still struggle with self-esteem issues and have battled depression and suicidal thoughts most of my life. The author talks about all that in her book. I have had victory over all of that, thankfully! I did seek help from a counsellor and professional help is always a good idea. If sexual abuse is a part of your life in any way, either directly in indirectly, I highly recommend you get this book! It will answer many questions you have and some that you may not have even thought of yet! At the end of the book the Dr. Lynn Daugherty lists many other resources to seek more information.
  • Child Molesters, Child Rapists, and Child Sexual Abuse: Why and How Sex Offenders Abuse: Child Molestation, Rape, and Incest Stories, Studies, and Models on March 13, 2012

    As a victim of abuse this is not an easy book to read but at the same time it's helpful to read. The author does a very good job of describing the different type of abusers. In my case it helped me to understand something more about my own abuser and the sickness behind it. Dr. Lynn Daughtery explains, of course, that in each case it is NEVER the victims fault no matter how sick the attacker is! This is important for every victim to understand. I DO think it helps in the healing process to understand something about the attacker as well. Most people just want to see them castrated and locked away forever! An understandable thought and one I can relate to. There IS help and treatment for them though and personally speaking I would have liked to have seen my attacker get help if possible, however he passed away several years ago. The author talks about how abuse affects the whole family and how to go about getting help. This is an extremely emotional topic and can be very disruptive for the entire family. It can also be a time for the family to pull together, seek help and stand united in support of the victim. If the abuser is part of the family that can certainly make it more difficult but there is help out there and the author lists several resources in her book. If you are a victim, abuser or love someone who is, then this is an excellent book to read. It's not overly long and it's not weighted down with technical language that's hard to understand. I highly recommend this book for anyone who is struggling in this area!