ZondarTheBear

Biography

To all of my readers who may be wondering what the hell happened to all the rest of my books, I just thought I would let you know that Smashwords has politely asked me to take them from the website, or risk have my account closed. I have no idea why they have decided that my books are no longer good enough for them, even though they have been selling well for more than a year, but they are in charge, and I have complied with their wishes. I also have no idea why there are still tens of thousands of books on the site that are exactly the same kind of books that they have instructed me to remove, again, not my call. Since you can't read mine, please enjoy theirs.

ZondarTheBear is a man. And a Bear. And a Zondar. Don't ask what any of that means, because attempting to answer you might make him drag his brain out of the rusty strongbox where he stores it, and nobody wants that, trust me.

Zondar's words of nasty fun do not come from Mayberry, or North Carolina nor anywhere else that you might take the wife and kiddies to visit on a sunny Spring day. The stuff that falls out of his mostly empty head comes from New Orleans, via the dark, wrinkled asshole of Satan's slutty daughter, and her almost-too-nice best friend, Karla Sue.

His stories are wet and nasty and they burrow deep into the shadows of those dark places that we all own, but mostly refuse to acknowledge. His stuff will always be teased from that dark dirty place with an oversized broken pencil, but he will always strive to bring a bit of golden light into the shadows of his disgusting prose, in spite of its soiled yellow origins.

Please be aware that these stories will never be run in front of an editor of any skill, because editors tend to cry blood from their melted eyeballs and stab themselves repeatedly after reading this content. As a result of their human frailties, you may find the occasional typographical error lurking in your story, waiting to jerk you from your fictional world. An apology for those errors that slip through is yours if you want it, but seriously folks, these things cost less than a comic book, I think that we'll both survive.

Where to find ZondarTheBear online

Twitter: zondarthebear

Books

My Virgin Cousin (The Banned True-Incest Edition)
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 10,370. Language: English. Published: May 13, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Men's Erotica, Fiction » Erotica » General
We were cousins. We were virgins. We spent the summer of nineteen seventy-three fixing that problem. Cover photo by: MeRawFloor. All rights reserved.
Loving My Sisters-A Banned True-Incest Chronicle (Part One of Five)
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 4,210. Language: English. Published: January 31, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Men's Erotica, Fiction » Erotica » Contemporary
My story began at birth, like most, I would guess, but the most interesting part began on my eighteenth birthday, when my twin sister swallowed my meat and told me that all five of my sisters were going to give me their virginities.... Author's note: All characters in this work of fiction are eighteen years of age or older. Cover photo by: Laurent Jean Pilippe
The Surprisingly Erotic Life of Santa Claus-Part One Meeting Mrs. Claus...and Her Sisters
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 17,370. Language: English. Published: January 15, 2014. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Sci-Fi Erotica, Fiction » Erotica » Historical/Ancient
Santa Claus was not always Santa Claus. Twelve thousand years ago, he was just a man who simply would not die. Millennium after millennium, never ending, never dying. Now, finally, after all the time he has endured, he finds her. Johanna. The woman who will end his solitary existence. And her two sisters.
The Nerd With The Footlong Dong
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 27,040. Language: English. Published: July 28, 2013. Categories: Fiction » Erotica » Menage/Multiple Partners, Fiction » Romance » Adult
Brian is a shy young man who has never had the courage to interact with women, until a life altering experience shows him that refusing to explore all that life has to offer is just a waste of the...unusual gift...that have been given to him. Now he uses that special gift to give pleasure to the young woman who loves him and all of the women that she finds for him. Photo by: Dan Zen.

ZondarTheBear's tag cloud

anal    ancient    breeding    brother    cheerleaders    christmas    claus    cousin    cum swallowing    daughter    deep throat    doctor    erotic    foursome    historical    immortal    incest    love    lust    mother    oral    orgy    pee    piss    pregnant    redhead    santa    sex    sister    squirting    threesome    urine    virgin   

ZondarTheBear's favorite authors on Smashwords