I was born. I grew up. First vertically, later sideways. Somewhere along the way, I learned to stand upright and walk. I also learned to read and write (in that order). One day, I plan to accomplish something that is truly awe-inspiring. The world's largest glass of chocolate milk is a possibility.
A somber man wishing to fulfill certain urges for the first time in his life. A wooden box containing the means for that fulfillment. An intrusive cousin. An impeccable lawn. A garden shed. An embarrassing plaster statue of the goddess Athena.