Matt Knott

I was seven years old, high on milk and cartoons and decided that a summer holiday story should include travel through space and time.

The only line I remember is 'I might get a slipper across the arse.' It was in reference to stealing the gizmo that controlled reality and using said gizmo actually kept my handsome, protagonist arse pristine. Though using language like that at St Mary's RC Primary School didn't go down too great.

There was no trouble from it, just a sense of amusement from the teachers and my mother I didn't quite understand. Why would anyone want to talk about my arse when there's a dinosaur in a spacesuit to fight?

The Secret Seven taught me that smugglers are everywhere.

Read those books, they're all so wholesome but those kids grew up in the middle of a crimewave. I spent my early years convinced everyone was scheming up plans to rob the local museum and had a healthy suspicion of people in flat caps.