Location: United States
Member Since: May 17, 2009
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Dan Schwartz


Biography

I love a good story, and I love a good joke. These two factors are my biggest influences. My writing is story telling interconnected through jokes. My debut book No Cure for Nature is a comical environmental adventure which explores the personification of Mother Nature rebelling against humankind in a whirlwind of puns, wordplay and heroism.

My background is in Environmental Engineering which is where my strong fascination with environmental issues comes from. I am still unaware where my love for puns was born, and story telling most likely stems back to Sesame Street.

Where to find Dan Schwartz online

Website: http://www.banocanut.com
Twitter: banocanut
MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/abner_nocurefornature

Where to buy in print

http://www.banocanut.com

Books

The Shampoo Debacle    by Dan Schwartz
Price: Free! 900 words. Published on October 25, 2011. Fiction.
(4.00 from 1 review)
The shower; sometimes dark, sometimes lonely, and sometimes the rushing of the water upon you drowns out the sounds of the horrors of the night. What can be more frightening than an attack when you are most vulnerable...an attack by your own hygienic products... www.banocanut.com
Haikus and Cartoos    by Dan Schwartz
Price: $2.95 USD. 1310 words. Published on October 24, 2011. Fiction.
When the art and grace of the haiku is joined forces with the clever playfulness of the cartoon, the team is almost unstoppable. Featuring 100 hilarious, tongue-in-cheek, and pun-filled poems accompanied by drawings that hold their own in the comedy department, what is not to love? Great as a gift, stocking stuffer, coaster, or defensive weapon. www.banocanut.com
Jump to Conclusion    by Dan Schwartz
Price: Free! 2940 words. Published on July 20, 2011. Fiction.
A traffic incident is causing a traffic backup on a Rhode Island Bridge. One down on her luck woman thinks she has deduced the reason, as does a man stricken with road rage, but the truth may be sometihng all together different. More at www.banocanut.com
Terminal Vampire    by Dan Schwartz
Price: $2.95 USD. 55640 words. Published on June 3, 2011. Fiction.
A lonley and self loathing vampire turns away from the city and seeks out to reconnect with humanity after discovering he has AIDS. Evander Graft sets off to Alaska for the months of the eternal darkness and finds a true friend in one of the locals, but as bodies start piling up in the small town of Pleasant Valley, his stay is not going to be as peaceful as hoped in this dark romantic comedy.
The Living Puppets    by Dan Schwartz
Price: $2.95 USD. 52870 words. Published on May 6, 2011. Fiction.
A small group of newly deceased find themselves in a mysterious afterlife with nothing but confusion and questions. They are greeted by experienced spirit who informs them that there is a power struggle against a corrupt soul. The group is taken in by the Resistance, who promise to end the evil reign of the man manipulating the living for his own personal gain.
Superhero's Welcome    by Dan Schwartz
Price: $2.95 USD. 52250 words. Published on April 17, 2010. Fiction.
Join The Seven Deadlies for the humorous thrill ride in this comical mystery adventure, as we learn of their sorted pasts, and hope for their fated futures. Superhero’s Welcome is a witty journey into the thin line known as good versus evil. With an assortment of characters that enjoy clever banter as much as fighting crime, this tale is a cross blend of Superfriends meets Seinfeld.
Vengeful World: A Tale of Global Warming    by Dan Schwartz
Price: $2.95 USD. 30860 words. Published on October 24, 2009. Fiction.
Temperatures around the world are increasing at intense rates never before seen, hurricanes are washing entire cities off the globe, earthquakes are swallow up once peaceful homes, and Abigail Winthrop, a leading climate change researcher, is in the heart of it all. Abigail follows a bread crumb trail of clues for an environmental adventure like no other to unearth the true nature of the heat.
Ramblings of a Love Sick Masochist    by Dan Schwartz
Price: $2.02 USD. 18320 words. Published on October 7, 2009. Fiction.
A lonely, yet content middle aged mall security guard is about to have his life turned upside down. He never anticipated finding a soul mate, and in a short period of time learns the joy and pain that love brings. He recounts his tale in a series of journal entries, in this modern day tragedy.
The Many Mini-Adventures of Abner the Gopher    by Dan Schwartz
Price: $2.13 USD. 25740 words. Published on September 18, 2009. Fiction.
Abner, the old fashion and adventuring gopher, travels the world looking for adventure. Abner decided to scribe his accounts so that he can share his adventures in a fantastic collection of short stories. Join the celebrated rodent for a comical adventure as he bumps elbows with pirates, becomes a veggetable, finds love, gets eaten, and so many more.
No Cure for Nature    by Dan Schwartz
Price: $2.95 USD. 62470 words. Published on September 14, 2009. Fiction.
No Cure for Nature is a fast paced, tongue-in-cheeked adventure taking place in a time of environmental uncertainty, pollution, and contamination. Nature needed to launch a strike against the humans before it was too late, leaving Guy, the unlikely hero, the task of fighting for the freedom of the world against the personification of Mother Nature in a whirlwind of puns, wordplay and heroism.
A Mid Mall Meating    by Dan Schwartz
Price: Free! 950 words. Published on September 9, 2009. Fiction.
Three stangers discuss the morality of their meals in a mall. For more of my work visit my website www.banocanut.com
Dragon Lance    by Dan Schwartz
Price: Free! 670 words. Published on July 13, 2009. Fiction.
Love can be found at any place, and in all eras; be it future, present, or the Jurassic Period. Dragon Lance explores the interests and desires of one yearning young buck on his quest for satisfaction. For more visit www.banocanut.com
The Alligator versus the Clown    by Dan Schwartz
Price: Free! 680 words. Published on July 2, 2009. Fiction.
After being abandoned by his circus, a clown must travel his way out of a town. Unfortunate for the clown, and alligator stands in the way of the clowns homecoming. See the two face off in battle, and see how the clown stacks up against one of the mightiest predators. For more visit www.banocanut.com
Abner gets turned into a Rutabaga    by Dan Schwartz
Price: Free! 3230 words. Published on July 1, 2009. Fiction.
A sample tale taken from the collection The Many Mini Adventures of Abner the Gopher (also available on smashwords). In this tale, Abner the Gopher gains a great deal of respect for veggetables after he is turned into one. How will Abner fit in with his former food, and will he be able to return to his gopher form? For more visit www.banocanut.com
The Amish versus the Mime    by Dan Schwartz
Price: Free! 1460 words. Published on June 30, 2009. Fiction.
The epic battle between the feirce Amish and the brutal mime. Could a battle so intense have a clear victor? For more visit www.banocanut.com
Shorts Stories    by Dan Schwartz
Price: Free! 1430 words. Published on June 26, 2009. Fiction.
A small collection of accounts told through a first “person” account. From the beginning to the end of the story read of the hardships faced and realized that your life might not seem that bad. These shorts are beyond normal and traditional. For more visit my website www.banocanut.com
Why a Train?    by Dan Schwartz
Price: Free! 570 words. Published on June 22, 2009. Fiction.
(2.00 from 1 review)
A man awake on a train, but is unaware to how or why he is there. This stream of consciousness short follows his mind to see what the evening has in store for him. FOr more visit www.banocanut.com
Fighting Poverty    by Dan Schwartz
Price: Free! 720 words. Published on June 19, 2009. .
A truthful look into how to solve the homeless problem before it is too late. For more visit www.banocanut.com

Dan Schwartz’s tag cloud

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