Benjamin Sobieck

Biography

Hey, kids. I'm the author of the crime thriller novel, "Cleansing Eden," the Maynard Soloman crime humor short story series and numerous flash fiction pieces sprinkled throughout the shadowy hallways of the Internet.

I like publishing fiction on the side, but my professional career is working as an online editor for a non-fiction publisher of magazines, books, television shows and digital content. I've worked as a reporter for a few newspapers, too.

I have a degree in journalism and a minor in creative writing from St. Cloud State University, Minnesota, but the wall space in my office is reserved for hanging all my cooking awards. I currently have a lot of wall space and a messy kitchen.

Check out my website at http://www.crimefictionbook.com and sign up for my cool e-newsletter. I'm from Minnesota, the home of SPAM, but I promise not to send you any.

Where to find Benjamin Sobieck online


Where to buy in print


Books

8 Funny Detective Stories with Maynard Soloman, Gal-Damn Detective
By
Price: $3.39 USD. Words: 49,660. Language: English. Published: October 21, 2013. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
8 Funny Detective Stories represents Maynard Soloman's first eight cases of mystery, malarkey and misadventure. Each combines the slapstick fun of The Pink Panther with the sharp wit of The Onion, if both lived in an RV watching nothing but old Westerns. Fans of Carl Hiaasen's crime fiction humor, Elmore Leonard's bumbling bad guys or snappy current events satire will enjoy these quick reads.
Maynard Soloman vs. The Kidney Thieves (Funny Detective Stories #8)
By
Series: Funny Detective Stories, Book 8. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 10,260. Language: English. Published: October 20, 2013. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
(5.00 from 1 review)
Maynard Soloman, a cantankerous private detective full of old-timey insults, slices open a ring of kidney thieves in this crusty short story. A band of baddies is posting ads for kidneys for sale on the Internet - at a sinister price. It's up to Maynard to climb into a bath tub of ice in a seedy motel to bust the ring in action. * BONUS: Includes Dr. Maynard's Guide to Kidney Transplants.
Maynard Soloman & the Bull$hit Cancer Awareness Campaign (Funny Detective Stories #7)
By
Series: Funny Detective Stories, Book 7. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 7,370. Language: English. Published: October 21, 2012. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
Has cancer awareness "jumped the shark?" Have some cancer charities lost sight of their purpose? Maynard Soloman, the world's crustiest detective, gets to the bottom of things in this short crime humor story. The cantankerous hero is hired to track down money missing from a cancer charity. What he finds could "blow the wig" off the entire organization.
6 Funny Detective Stories - Maynard Soloman Smokes the World's Problems
By
Price: $3.19 USD. Words: 34,960. Language: English. Published: September 10, 2012. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
Fans of short detective stories with a side of sarcastic satire, you've found your man. Meet Maynard Soloman, gal-damn detective. Some say he's crusty, profane and clueless. But if you ask him, he solves the world's problems one case at a time. Included in this collection are six crusty misadventures.
Maynard Soloman Takes the Bus to a Strip Club (Funny Detective Stories #6)
By
Series: Funny Detective Stories, Book 6. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 8,770. Language: English. Published: April 25, 2012. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
Inspired by true events! In this misadventure, the hapless private investigator is hired to track down a missing college student. Maynard heads to a strip club to investigate, but there's a problem. His decaying RV dies halfway there. To continue the case, he'll need to do battle with his worst enemy: The city bus. Hang on, it's going to get weird. BONUS: Includes "Maynard's Guide to Tipping."
Burning Bridges: A Renegade Fiction Anthology
By
Price: Free! Words: 27,920. Language: English. Published: April 24, 2012. Category: Fiction » Anthologies » Short stories - multi-author
(5.00 from 1 review)
These renegade authors are burning bridges. Each one of their 15 short stories is a match and a commitment to never to look back. Readers can expect tales of revenge, redemption and the road ahead - but never regret.
Pick Your Poison - 1 Nefarious Novel & 12 Stirring Short Stories
By
Price: $6.99 USD. Words: 98,470. Language: English. Published: April 13, 2012. Category: Fiction » Anthologies » Mystery
Pick your poison! This crooked collection from author Benjamin Sobieck features a baker's dozen of crime. Enjoy a thrilling novel, five humor short stories, five hard-hitting short stories, a true crime story, a true crime ghost story and loads of bonus features.
4 Odd Crime Stories
By
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 3,710. Language: English. Published: April 6, 2012. Category: Fiction » Mystery & detective » Short Stories
These four short, short crime stories push the boundaries of psychological fiction - and ways to tell about it. From a bully getting his comeuppance to the sinister side of a bizarre mental effect called ASMR, these quick reads are like firing pins for your brain.
5 Funny Detective Stories - A Maynard Soloman Collection
By
Price: $3.09 USD. Words: 27,060. Language: English. Published: March 13, 2012. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
Fans of funny detective stories, meet Maynard Soloman, gal-damn detective. Some would say he's crusty, profane and clueless. But if you ask him, he solves the world's problems one case at time. Once you experience his 1930s-style of doing business in a 21st century world, you just might agree. Included in this anthology are five short stories featuring Maynard Soloman.
Maynard Soloman Legalizes Gay Knot Tying (Funny Detective Stories #5)
By
Series: Funny Detective Stories, Book 5. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 8,480. Language: English. Published: March 8, 2012. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
Fans of funny detective stories, meet Maynard Soloman. Some say he's crusty, profane and clueless. If you ask him, he solves the world's problems one case at a time. In this short story, the Ol' Badger runs into his estranged wife's cult. In order to get a divorce, he'll need to legalize gay marriage. Or be eaten as a human sacrifice. He'd better hurry. The cult just bought ranch dressing.
Cleansing Eden: Kill All Celebrities (crime thriller)
By
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 71,780. Language: English. Published: February 22, 2012. Category: Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Crime thriller
After recruiting a drug-addled street rat to do his bidding, an eccentric inventor of designer drugs launches a campaign of violence and manipulation to cleanse the world of impure celebrities.
Maynard Soloman Proves Santa Claus is Real (Funny Detective Stories #4)
By
Series: Funny Detective Stories, Book 4. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 4,900. Language: English. Published: February 12, 2012. Category: Fiction » Holiday » Christmas
Fans of funny detective stories, meet Maynard Soloman. Some say he's crusty, profane and clueless. If you ask him, he solves the world's problems one case at a time. In this short story, the Ol' Badger needs a Christmas miracle. Bill collectors want to repossess his beloved RV. To stay a step ahead, Maynard will have to prove Santa Claus is real. Or just drunk.
Maynard Soloman & The Job-Nabbin' Illegal Immigrants (Funny Detective Stories #3)
By
Series: Funny Detective Stories, Book 3. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 5,670. Language: English. Published: February 12, 2012. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
Fans of funny detective stories, meet Maynard Soloman. Some say he's crusty, profane and clueless. If you ask him, he solves the world's problems one case at a time. In this short story, Maynard is hired to track down something important stolen from his client: A job. The culprit: Illegal immigrants. Or are they?
Maynard Soloman Fixes Social Security and Eats a Pony (Funny Detective Stories #2)
By
Series: Funny Detective Stories, Book 2. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 6,530. Language: English. Published: February 12, 2012. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
Fans of funny detective stories, meet Maynard Soloman. Some say he's crusty, profane and clueless. If you ask him, he solves the world's problems one case at a time. When a pony-riding bandit makes off with Maynard's gas money, the Ol' Badger has no choice but to give chase. To get his money back, he'll have to do the impossible: Fix Social Security. And eat a pony.
Maynard Soloman Solves the War on Drugs (Funny Detective Stories #1)
By
Series: Funny Detective Stories, Book 1. Price: Free! Words: 5,330. Language: English. Published: February 12, 2012. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
(4.00 from 1 review)
Fans of funny detective stories, meet Maynard Soloman. Some say he's crusty, profane and clueless. If you ask him, he solves the world's problems one case at a time. In this misadventure, the Maynard wraps his arms around the War on Drugs. Or is the war wrapping itself around his beloved Winnebago RV? Either way, the Ol' Badger will solve this War on Drugs business once and for all.
4 Funny Detective Stories - Starring Maynard Soloman
By
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 18,960. Language: English. Published: February 7, 2012. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
Fans of funny detective stories, meet Maynard Soloman, gal-damn detective. Some would say he's crusty, profane and clueless. But if you ask him, he solves the world's problems one case at time. Once you experience his 1930s-style of doing business in a 21st century world, you just might agree. Included in this anthology are four short stories featuring Maynard Soloman.

Benjamin Sobieck’s tag cloud


Smashwords book reviews by Benjamin Sobieck

  • Barbotte on Nov. 08, 2011
    (no rating)
    "Barbotte" weaves the story of an illegal gambling operation trying to get its money back after being ripped off. John McFetridge provides a lesson in how much story you can cram into a tight space without getting anyone lost. This being a free read, I can't recommend it enough. I'd've paid for this one. And I will defend the author's writing style in this piece. The paragraph structure is classic noir. Pick up Raymond Chandler or Elmore Leonard to understand the approach McFetridge uses.
  • Top 5 Reasons You Can't Get Laid in Montreal on Dec. 09, 2011

    "Top 5 Reasons You Can't Get Laid in Montreal" is a very short work that borrows from the author's upcoming novel, "Naked Montreal." Despite having never been to Montreal, not speaking French and not desiring to get "laid" by anyone north of Minneapolis, I found this sample more than whetted my appetite for the novel. The top five reasons are funny enough, but it's the additional list at the end that killed me. Don't blush if you find this under the sex section. Roberts plugs enough good-natured humor in these brief pages to satisfy readers in any genre.
  • Where to Get Laid in Montreal on Dec. 10, 2011

    When the writing is this good, you can't help but give in to temptation. (The temptation of reading, of course. What did you think I meant?) This very short work is the perfect yin to the yang of the author's "Top 5 Reasons You Can't Get Laid in Montreal." I've read both and, despite having never been to Montreal, consider myself a de facto expert on the topic. Even if you don't normally peruse the sex section, give both e-books a try.
  • Ninjas of the 512 on Feb. 18, 2012

    Does it really matter what political parties "stand for" any more? What if you stripped away the bumper stickers, the phony piety and hollow everymanism to expose their true essence? You'd probably end up with something similar to ninjas and pirates. Both hate each other. Why? Who cares. Let's fight. There are similar scenes in Laura Roberts's excellent humor novella, Rebels of the 512. (Note to author Roberts: I know you're an editor and may ding me for using "Roberts's," but I stand firm on using 's on singular nouns. Just be glad I didn't write "scene's" just now. You'd probably kill me.) In a pitched battle between ninjas and pirates, the exhausted sides agree to settle it on an arm wrestling match. While this makes for good humor, it reveals a potent remark about politics. Heated debates often devolve into childish gestures hurled between sides. Whoever puts up the strongest fight wins, regardless of whether it was the best outcome. Understanding the political references isn't critical to enjoying Rebels of the 512. Neither is living in Austin, Texas, where the piece takes place. Nor is knowing much about Texas Gov. Rick Perry, parodied here as villian "Nick Harry." All you really need to know is that Gov. Harry's budget cuts put teacher Suzie Jimenez out of a job. She goes on the warpath with a group of ninjas determined to defeat Harry's pirates. Hilarity ensues. But the plot isn't what makes Rebels of the 512 tick. It's Roberts's sense of comedic timing that really matters - and shines. Writing humor is all about knowing when to plant and harvest a joke. It's something that can't be taught. An author either has it or doesn't. Roberts has it in spades. That's why Rebels of the 512 is such a fine read. This is an author who knows how to write humor. Don't be fooled by the slapstick, it's not an easy thing to do. That she wrote it in three days as part of a contest proves Roberts's humor chops beyond the remotest shadow of a doubt.