This is a decent steamy story, although i thought they were step siblings at first.
I enjoyed the dialogue between Sarah and Scooter but there are too many missing words, extra words and grammatical errors.
The story needs to be edited more carefully.
I would give this 0 stars. Sorry but this was not a story, the writing was strange. It was disjointed and poorly written. Words were missing. It seemed like an erotic fanfiction story written by an inexperienced teenager who writes and self publishes cheap erotica to make some extra money.
it did not flow and it focused on some boring poker game for a little too long. Then the sex scenes were short and there was no detail. Here's an example, 'then worked his way up to banging her'. What? Were is the detail? It's the equivalent of a cheap porn movie taken with a camcorder.
The characters seemed wooden. The girl acted like she was 14, not 18. The dialogue was ridiculous too. The book cover is cheap and tacky.
In a story with less than 3000 words, i wouldn't expect to see errors. There are missing words and the story is too rushed.
The writing is clunky, it does not flow and the dialogue is ridiculous. It reads like something written by a horny teenager who doesn't read good erotic fiction or any other type of fiction. It's similar to a grainy 5 minute porno movie. The sex scene is weak.
Erotica should be entertaining and sexy, this is not either.
Free is OK but I would not pay for these types of poorly written and unedited stories.
One word, Awful.
When i started reading this story i thought it was a synopsis of the book. It was like Josh did this and Josh did that. It would have been better if it was written in first person, instead of third person. It was not sexy because it was told in a weird boring style that felt like a boring documentary.
Boy does this author love anal, so many stories about the same thing.
This novella is great. It is a prequel to the novel 'Trapped'.
The author jumps straight into the story.
It's written in dual first person POV's and the two main characters Mitch and Paige are engaging people.
I felt some sympathy for both characters in the beginning and as the story progressed I wanted to hurt Mitch.
It is a well written novella and I wouldn't really label it as a romance but it is a story of what can go wrong in a relationship.
The dialogue was so realistic. Despite the characters actions there were no immature whiny teenagers in this story.
I got the novel 'Trapped' straight after reading this prequel and read both books within 2 days.
I am going to read it again because I really enjoyed it.
I rarely give out 5 star reviews but I can't stop thinking about 'The trap' and 'Trapped' so it deserves 5 stars.
This was a well written little story, however I wish the author had continued the story a little further or released the next book in a short time frame.
One of the keys to self-publishing a short story series is to publish each book in the series one after the other. If not you risk losing fans/readers who enjoyed your last book.
This is one of the most taboo and stupid stories I have ever read. The plot was ridiculous. There was nothing erotic or exciting about this story. The descriptions of what JoAnne was doing with the dog and her brother & his friends was so basic, rushed and missing any kind of climax.
I was curious to read one of these Bestiality stories. There is nothing erotic about these types of stories, they just come off as nasty trashy porn that is supposed to push beyond the limit.
Loving a dog as a pet and friend is one thing. Giving a dog a blow job is another thing. I appreciate fantasy but this is ridiculous.
I've read a few of this authors books. They are OK.
The sex scene in this book was a little bland. If erotica stories are supposed to entertain and turn a reader on, then this story fails to do that for me.
I feel the same about a couple other books by this author. There needs to be more creativity and detail when it comes to the sex scenes or it becomes a drama romance novel with light sex.
I wish this author would write in first person, i feel so detached reading it from the third person perspective.
I do love her book covers, they are some of the most professional looking covers I have seen on Amazon, Goodreads and Smashwords.
The beginning was quite good. Then this author did what too many authors in this erotica genre are doing. They are writing these wham bam rough sex scenes. It's not even hardcore, its like soft porn with some douche bag man. This one being her stepfather.
This was one of the worst lines from the book. 'It felt like he was filling me up with hot fudge sauce'
Why is he calling her a slut when she's a virgin?
Writing erotica shouldn't give writers a licence to write trashy nonsense.
Deleted from my kindle
What is going on? This is a 620 word story and it is full of typos and errors. How long would it take to read and edit this short story? 15-20 minutes maximum.
E.g. She dress falls to the ground.
It's 'Her dress falls to the ground.'
620 words is a bit short too. There's no room for a set up/build up and a decent sex scene.
I've read better stories on Wattpad and a lot of the writers on their are very young.
Far too rushed and it did not make sense how the girl was worried her boyfriends friend could hear them having sex one day, then the next day she's ok with having a threesome.
Why would two male friends just start giving each other blowjobs? They've been friends for a while and there doesn't seem to be any indication that they were bisexual before. It seems like the author just added that for shock value. A guy doesn't just start giving another man a blow job, even if they are horny as hell.
Too rushed, got a little disgusting at the end.
The bisexual behaviour was weird. A guy doesn't suddenly start blowing another guy and enjoying it, unless he had those feelings or desires before.
The guy telling the story doesn't once say how he feels about what's he's doing.
This is really awful. It is one of those stories which rushes to crappy cheap sex scenes. The first scene with Mark was not hot and it would have been better had it been written with more creativity and slowed down to describe the sex in a more erotic way.
This was awful trash. There was no build up, started with her husbands brother ready to have sex with her. Then the brother comes in and the dialogue and description was so messy and basic, it was like the cheapest porno movie.
The author did not even spend time to describe the sex scene and make it sound sexy.
Just cheap quick reads that are not worth a penny. Good they are free. 0 stars
This is seriously awful. The stepdaughter sounds immature and younger than her age. It is the equivalent of a cheap crappy porno and needs some serious editing.
It is filled with cheesy unrealistic dialogue. The sex scene was absolute rubbish. She is a virgin and there is some build up. Then suddenly they are having sex. No description about him penetrating her, it hurting or nothing. He calls her stupid names like his fucktoy.
She's basically taking her mothers place in his bedroom and yes the mother still lives with them.
I cannot believe anyone pays for these types of stories.
This book was ok. It was a little repetitive.
The couple are playing a long sexual game. They take turns to be in charge and do whatever they want sexually to the other.
When Gianna was in charge, I thought she talked too much and reminded the guy that she was in charge over and over again.
When it came to him being in charge I thought he described the scenes well. I found a couple scenes uncomfortable.
The pegging was written well, showing how the guy felt during the sexual act.
Some of the scenes were rushed along, when he penetrated her it was described in a few words. I would have liked more description.
Vegas Anal Threesome
on Sep. 10, 2015
Deleted immediately. Needed a little more build up.