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Smashwords book reviews by Bruce McNair
- Project Moses - An Enzo Lee Mystery Thriller
on April 30, 2012
This book has an interesting plot - national and international intrigue of the type that is a conspiracy theorist's dream. But I felt there were some weaknesses that detracted from the reading pleasure. In my opinion, some of these weaknesses were as follows:
• I felt that the opening was weakened by overlong descriptions. After wading through several of these in the first third of the book, I felt like putting the book aside. But I found that the second half of the book seemed like a whole different story - the pace and suspense was good for a thriller - I certainly could not put the book down at this point. As the opening is the place where you need to grab and keep the reader's attention, I thought that this opportunity was missed. I kept reading in the hope that things would improve and was rewarded. But would other readers do the same?
• Sarah and Lee - sounds too much like a brand of frozen meals to me.
• Why does nobody have a mobile/cell phone? After about half the book, I realised the story was set in the 1990s, but surely a reporter and a lawyer would consider a mobile/cell phone part of their essential equipment even then. So the time that the events took place could have been established better or reasons for not having them need to be established. Both would avoid these sort of questions in the reader's mind.
• He uses the News library and the California Secretary of State's office to find information about Futura Products rather than do an Internet search on his own computer. I can excuse this one after realising it was set in the 1990s when perhaps these records were not as readily available on the Internet as they are today.
• Why does an Iraqi have an Uzi? As Uzis are made by Israelis, it seems unlikely for an Arab to carry one.
• Cuba and Bosnia-Herzegovina are questionable as hot spots. Although, the situation in the 1990s was certainly very different so perhaps this is excusable.
• Why didn't they use a USB pen drive instead of printing? Or they could have sent the pages to an email address. I realise this would have changed the excuse for killing the comptroller. But my concern is that alternative means for extracting the information were not dealt with, that is explain why using a pen drive or sending an email was not possible.
In summary, I felt that there were sufficient problems that another revision or two could have helped raise the book a star or two.