Carla René

Biography

I am a professional stand-up comedienne, stage/tv/film actor and published author. I am now back in University, pursuing double-doctorates in Applied Mathematics and Astrophysics.

I write stuff. Some people think I'm funny.

I am on an eternal mission to prove to my parents that they should've used birth control.

I have three unruly, whiny, maniacal, co-dependent and I-swear-they-drop-acid-behind-my-back cats who treat me as if I'm the hired help.

I want to meet the guy who designed the little plastic thingy inside women's wallets so I can smoosh his head into one.

I ask for so little.

Where to find Carla René online


Where to buy in print


Videos

A Most Devout Coward
When life-long Atheist and social anxiety sufferer Jack Ryan O'Hanlan witnesses a mob hit in a Manhattan diner and is forced to enter WITSEC as a Priest, he's certain his life can't get any worse. Oh, isn't life a kick in the crotch.

Books

To Keep Away The Chill (and other victorian stories)
By
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 18,860. Language: English. Published: April 30, 2011. Category: Fiction » Literature » Literary
A collection that ranges from ghosts on the open plains in the US, to High-Society London and back to mid-Western America, all during Queen Victoria's reign. Some are based on true stories and some are the way I wish things were, without all the rules and class distinctions.
Bitch
By
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 740. Language: English. Published: February 17, 2011. Category: Fiction » Horror » General
Ever wish your obnoxious neighbours would just die already? In this flash fiction, watch as the old lady upstairs gets her delicious revenge.
Blood Alley
By
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 3,330. Language: English. Published: February 17, 2011. Category: Nonfiction » True Crime » Murder
In 1949, the UK's most prolific serial killer was convinced he could get by with murder forever. No forensic evidence, no conviction. But he was wrong.
We All Need Traditions
By
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 1,290. Language: English. Published: January 5, 2011. Category: Fiction » Holiday » Family
Each year for Mother's Day, my mum would ask dad to buy her an azalea with beautiful pink buds. And each year, he would buy it for her. And then 6-hours later, would mow it over with the lawn mower. Why they never got hobbies, I'll never know. But you'll definitely recognise your own family in this all-out comedy.
A Sleep To Startle Us (A Christmas Tale of Charles Dickens)
By
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 2,530. Language: English. Published: January 5, 2011. Category: Fiction » Holiday » Family
After visiting the Field Lane ragged school in Saffron Hill, Charles Dickens is so despondent he decides to give up writing long before he pens his famous A Christmas Carol. Then one night while napping in his favourite armchair, his soon-to-be-written fictional ghost decides to visit and take him on a journey that not only changes his life, but inspires him to write his now-famous story.
Zen In the Art of Absurdity
By
Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 16,550. Language: English. Published: August 18, 2010. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
(5.00 from 1 review)
Bill can't get a writing space. While in Canada, Sam learns to "go convert" himself, mum and dad are playing hide the Azalea plant, Delores can't keep her father's arse covered, a pack of wild Kens are hurtling toward the atmosphere, and dad is sitting in his car picking his ears with his keys. Often compared to Sedaris (Mostly by herself), this collection will make you sick...with laughter.

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