Dick Allan


Dick Allan is a pen name. I'm PG13; he's Adults Only. He's my alter ego. Whereas I'm a little shy and repressed, he most certainly is not. Whereas I tend to take things seriously, he does not. I have a bizarre sense of humour, and so does he. (Well we're both me so we're alike in many ways.). I grew up on fairy tales and sword and sorcery; he skewers the tropes of the genres and fills them with outlandish, explicit sexual situations. Welcome to his world. Enjoy.

Smashwords Interview

What are you working on next?
More adventures with Jack the Giant Layer. California Witch, a sequel to California Genie, then a sequel or two to that. Another Erectus serial wherein Erectus and his friends, in order to save the kingdom, and perhaps the world, must get a dangerously powerful genie back into her bottle.
What is your writing process?
I use an outline and tack on bits and pieces here and there until all the holes are filled.
Read more of this interview.


Jack The Giant Layer
Price: Free! Words: 21,990. Language: English. Published: December 18, 2014. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Historical
(21600 words) An erotic fairy tale; 18+. Jack saves a knee-high fairy woman from two ruffians. She rewards him with a marvellous sexual experience and a magic ring that will, with certain restrictions, grant him wishes. After he falls afoul of the local sheriff he agrees to bring in three outlaws hiding in the forest, but there are a lot of things the sheriff didn't tell him about the outlaws.
Not Another Genie
Series: Rogue Genie, Book 3. Price: Free! Words: 4,250. Language: English. Published: December 14, 2014. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor
(3900 words) Part 3 of Erectus And The Rogue Genie. An erotic sword & sorcery parody. 18+. With the help of a prostitute and a magician, Erectus and his friends released the genie Penelope from her bottle. Erectus is uneasy about dealing with another genie but this might be his only chance to get rid of his curse. After some discussion, she grants their first wish.
A Wizard And A Bottle
Series: Rogue Genie, Book 2. Price: Free! Words: 6,380. Language: English. Published: November 14, 2014. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Historical/Ancient
(6070 words) Part 2 of Erectus And The Rogue Genie. After his strange adventure in the desert with the Genie Elppin, Erectus returns to the town of Elohttub. When the tavern girl Laymee, and her friends, can't get Erectus aroused, she says he must be cursed by a genie. She offers to take him to Bagophlese, a magician who can help.
Erectus Meets A Genie
Series: Rogue Genie, Book 1. Price: Free! Words: 5,920. Language: English. Published: October 15, 2014. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor
(5650 words) An Erotic sword & sorcery parody. 18+. Erectus is sent by king Fincter to the remote village of Elohttub to build a bridge over a ravine. Bored with the local night life, he wanders alone into the desert at dusk and finds an ancient bottle. When he breaks the seal and opens the bottle he releases a mischievous genie who takes him on a wild night of sexual escapades and misadventures.
Erectus In The Country
Series: The Erotic Adventures Of Erectus, Book 13. Price: Free! Words: 5,280. Language: English. Published: March 14, 2014. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor
An erotic sword and sorcery parody wherein Erectus, the royal Wizard Elrod the Magnificent, and a select group of mercenaries pursue the evil wizard Gashscar toward Mount Gushmore. They are attacked by sexy, deadly dreams, confused dogs, and some very strange trees.
Erectus And The Mudgina
Series: The Erotic Adventures Of Erectus, Book 11. Price: Free! Words: 4,480. Language: English. Published: January 14, 2014. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor
An erotic sword & sorcery parody wherein Erectus and Elrod, with their small army, are intercepted by Gashscar, with his small army. Gashscar attempts to animate a giant bronze statue to defeat them but his spell is deflected and animates a nearby hillside instead, turning it into a giant, horny, female golem, presenting a new set of problems for Erectus and Elrod while Gashscar retreats.
The High Priestess Of Erotia
Series: The Erotic Adventures Of Erectus, Book 10. Price: Free! Words: 5,550. Language: English. Published: December 19, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor
An erotic sword & sorcery parody wherein Erectus and Elrod must convince the High Priestess of the Temple Of Erotia to use her temple and priestesses to discreetly recruit an army to defeat the evil wizard Gashscar in his villa, before he puts into effect his plans to completely take over the palace.
The Shrunken Villagers
Series: The Erotic Adventures Of Erectus, Book 9. Price: Free! Words: 4,870. Language: English. Published: November 19, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor
An erotic sword & sorcery parody wherein Erectus, still shrunk to one twelfth his height, saves a woman his own size from an angry mouse, meets Talia and Jenna, Talia's twin sister, has sex with women shrunk smaller than himself, gains allies, gets a blowjob from a witch, and rides another bird.
Invisible In The King's Harem
Series: The Erotic Adventures Of Erectus, Book 7. Price: Free! Words: 4,690. Language: English. Published: September 19, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor
(An erotic Sword & Sorcery parody.) Erectus, employed as a spy by the Royal Wizard, Elrod the Magnificent, is made invisible and sent into the King's harem to deliver a message and a magic ring to Queen Javina, confined in an inner room. Can he make it through a room full of beautiful women unmolested? Will the Queen be receptive top his message?
Erectus And The Slave Woman
Series: The Erotic Adventures Of Erectus, Book 5. Price: Free! Words: 3,880. Language: English. Published: July 20, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor
(An Erotic Sword & Sorcery Parody) During the days Erectus is in charge of the renovations at Princess Clitoria's villa. During the nights he plays with the princess in her private chambers. When she's gone for too long he must find other diversions. While he's looking through Clitoria's books of sexual positions the cleaning woman comes in.
In The Temple Of Erotia
Series: The Erotic Adventures Of Erectus, Book 1. Price: Free! Words: 5,380. Language: English. Published: April 5, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor
(An Erotic Sword & Sorcery Parody) Erectus, new to the city of Titslegass, wants to get laid so his friend takes him to the priestess prostitutes at the Temple Of Erotia. Lured to the high end by the breasts of Sherryaire, he is interrupted by the jealous General Gennitol. He escapes naked into the street and runs into Princess Clitoria, who smuggles him into the palace to have her way with him.
Rude Awakening
Price: Free! Words: 4,900. Language: English. Published: March 8, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Sci-Fi Erotica
(4770 words) When Roger Sinclair found out he had an incurable disease he opted to go into cryogenic suspension until a cure could be found. When he woke up he learned that cryo-corpses are legally dead, so the rich bitch who bought the cryogenic facility he was frozen in now owns him to do with as she pleases. (Explicit sex, adults only.)
Dave's Blow Job
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 3,040. Language: English. Published: February 22, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Paranormal
(2800 words) (Warning: this story contains oral sex.) I always wondered why my friend Dave, who clearly wasn't gay, never hung out with the guys on Friday night, and he never had a girlfriend, nor seemed interested in getting one. One night my curiosity got the best of me so I followed him and spied on him. What I found out blew me away.
A Sleeping Beauty
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 2,950. Language: English. Published: February 9, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Historical/Medieval
(2780 words) Prince Jack, as the youngest of a sizable Royal family, has little chance of marrying a worthwhile princess, so he sets out to awaken the legendary Sleeping Beauty. Kissing her doesn't work; something more is required. A slightly shorter version of this story first appeared in Swinging Times National Edition No. 240.
California Genie
Price: Free! Words: 4,720. Language: English. Published: January 30, 2013. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor
(4630 words) When Dick found an ancient bottle in the sand he broke the seal and let out a horny, mischievous genie who took him on a wild night of magical, sexual misadventures.
Getting It Up In Titslegass: The Erotic Adventures Of Erectus Volume 1
Series: The Erotic Adventures Of Erectus. Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 66,190. Language: English. Published: December 30, 2012. Category: Fiction » Erotica » Comedy/Humor
(An Erotic Sword & Sorcery Parody.) (Contains all 15 adventures of Erectus) New to the city of Titslegass, capital of the Kingdom of Boobylon, Erectus makes friends, crosses a jealous General, gets intimate with a Princess, goes on a spying mission for the Royal Wizard, and ultimately saves the kingdom, all while having lots of sex in unusual circumstances and bizarre situations.

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