‘CUMBRIA’ The definitive tourist misguide
by Frankie Lassut
Price: Free! 22610 words.
Published on May 31, 2012. Fiction.
Professor Brian Cox, says ... “I’m just like you, but just a little more sciency.” Well, to have written this, I can say, “I’m nothing like anyone, and definitely not Millomy.”
Here s my tourist guide to Cumbria, the observations from 29 years of years of living there. Please enjoy.Good pub guide?
The Harbour Hotel, Haverigg, one nautical mile from Millom (that’s a pint you owe me Chris).
Location: United Kingdom
Member Since: Feb. 25, 2011
5 users have added this author as a favorite.
Frankie Lassut
Biography
I don't think saying 'I'm a writer' is enough to describe what I actually do. I like to entertain, and I use writing as a medium to do that. That then makes me a (and yeah, I obviously use a keyboard),... a... what's a good word? How about, a Pen-tertainer?
I'm a Pentertainer ...
I write quite wacky stuff, which is just the way it comes; it makes me laugh, and I hope the reader gets a good old guffaw too.
I also write wellbeing books, which deal with feeling good ... life is all about remembering how to feel good.
frankielassut1@aol.com drop me an e mail it's good to hear off people.
Check out my website, see if you like the gallery.
Hmmm. Whan a 'work' is ready, it's loaded onto the Smashwords system. It is converted into the different files, and then goes live. The author/publisher then has to wait for it to be checked so it's fully compatible with the system ... before it goes into the Premium Catalogue'. During this time, people download it, but, there may be errors or mistakes of a bit of lousy formatting, all of which will be fixed. Therefore, if you've downloaded something that may be a bit dodgy in places, that's why.
I'm a Pentertainer ...
I write quite wacky stuff, which is just the way it comes; it makes me laugh, and I hope the reader gets a good old guffaw too.
I also write wellbeing books, which deal with feeling good ... life is all about remembering how to feel good.
frankielassut1@aol.com drop me an e mail it's good to hear off people.
Check out my website, see if you like the gallery.
Hmmm. Whan a 'work' is ready, it's loaded onto the Smashwords system. It is converted into the different files, and then goes live. The author/publisher then has to wait for it to be checked so it's fully compatible with the system ... before it goes into the Premium Catalogue'. During this time, people download it, but, there may be errors or mistakes of a bit of lousy formatting, all of which will be fixed. Therefore, if you've downloaded something that may be a bit dodgy in places, that's why.
Where to find Frankie Lassut online
Website: http://www.frankie-lassut.com
Books
The bLAUGHSphemic Double Dare
by Frankie Lassut
Price: Free! 24670 words. Published on May 30, 2012. Fiction.
Once upon a time, the word blasphsphemy must have been spelt blaughsphemy, until the inventors of wonderful religion removed a few of the letters, and with it the fun aspect of the word. They then made ‘you know who’ an angry entity, out to get us for eating fruit one fateful day; a terrible, terrible, sin. Sin ... don’t you just ‘love it’...
Price: Free! 24670 words. Published on May 30, 2012. Fiction.
Once upon a time, the word blasphsphemy must have been spelt blaughsphemy, until the inventors of wonderful religion removed a few of the letters, and with it the fun aspect of the word. They then made ‘you know who’ an angry entity, out to get us for eating fruit one fateful day; a terrible, terrible, sin. Sin ... don’t you just ‘love it’...
A Little Book of Wonky Wisdom
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. 7770 words. Published on April 22, 2012. Fiction.
Ordinary people love clever people, if the clever people help them in pub quizzes. But, that aspect aside, what about clever people whose knowledge surpasses that stuff found in the non-fascinating question books from the pub quiz question complier? No! This little offering is the type of knowledge that proper thrills people. People will love you! People will want to be with you.
Price: $0.99 USD. 7770 words. Published on April 22, 2012. Fiction.
Ordinary people love clever people, if the clever people help them in pub quizzes. But, that aspect aside, what about clever people whose knowledge surpasses that stuff found in the non-fascinating question books from the pub quiz question complier? No! This little offering is the type of knowledge that proper thrills people. People will love you! People will want to be with you.
The War of the Lucrative Words
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. 17860 words. Published on April 14, 2012. Fiction.
Once again, in the name of decency, Frankie shrugs off fear and paints a metaphorical target on his forehead. This is a part true story about two warring towns where one is successful the other not in the grand tourist grant game. It’s all a based on a fib anyway as you will see dear reader ... A few sonnets for you enjoy too.
Price: $0.99 USD. 17860 words. Published on April 14, 2012. Fiction.
Once again, in the name of decency, Frankie shrugs off fear and paints a metaphorical target on his forehead. This is a part true story about two warring towns where one is successful the other not in the grand tourist grant game. It’s all a based on a fib anyway as you will see dear reader ... A few sonnets for you enjoy too.
Irreverent Distraction No.6, Beware of the Scientists
by Frankie Lassut
Price: Free! 6910 words. Published on April 3, 2012. Fiction.
You read in the paper; ‘drinking red wine may cause cancer, say scientists’ ... so you analyse your red wine intake (and cut down). One month later, you read; ‘red wine may not be a cause of cancer, say scientists’ ... so you up your red wine intake, because you’re ok to do so now ... you’ve been given the all clear by the ‘experts’. But wait! Your ‘red wine soup’ causes cancer ... again
Price: Free! 6910 words. Published on April 3, 2012. Fiction.
You read in the paper; ‘drinking red wine may cause cancer, say scientists’ ... so you analyse your red wine intake (and cut down). One month later, you read; ‘red wine may not be a cause of cancer, say scientists’ ... so you up your red wine intake, because you’re ok to do so now ... you’ve been given the all clear by the ‘experts’. But wait! Your ‘red wine soup’ causes cancer ... again
Bus Driving's Easy! You just sit on your butt and turn the wheel.
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. 20660 words. Published on March 31, 2012. Fiction.
After many years of searching, the author finally finds a job which he can do without actually thinking (it is such an un-necessary chore); in fact, in this job, it is against the rules. After nearly not landing this gorgeous job, due to the fact that the entrance theory exam means ‘thinking’, the author though, bravely guesses and passes
Price: $0.99 USD. 20660 words. Published on March 31, 2012. Fiction.
After many years of searching, the author finally finds a job which he can do without actually thinking (it is such an un-necessary chore); in fact, in this job, it is against the rules. After nearly not landing this gorgeous job, due to the fact that the entrance theory exam means ‘thinking’, the author though, bravely guesses and passes
A Hand in Horror
by Frankie Lassut
Price: Free! 9100 words. Published on March 24, 2012. Fiction.
Strangely enough, this could almost be looked at as a love story, between men, but certainly not gay (not that there is anything at all wrong with gay). It is not written as a love story, but the writings contained are from two would be teachers, to their undisputed ‘heroes’, written in an attempt to make their heroes even greater. Can a teacher love a pupil?
Price: Free! 9100 words. Published on March 24, 2012. Fiction.
Strangely enough, this could almost be looked at as a love story, between men, but certainly not gay (not that there is anything at all wrong with gay). It is not written as a love story, but the writings contained are from two would be teachers, to their undisputed ‘heroes’, written in an attempt to make their heroes even greater. Can a teacher love a pupil?
The Musical Picture Tie
by Frankie Lassut
Price: Free! 23810 words. Published on March 13, 2012. Fiction.
This book contains two ditties. The Musical Picture Tie. The author receives a gift, a musical picture tie (fanfare!). But, it is no ordinary tie, and the crazy adventure begins. The second ditty: The Open Mic Night Conspiracy tells of a sinister group whose members attend these evenings i.e open mic nights in pubs, and their ‘discoveries’ are used to do terrible things to people.
Price: Free! 23810 words. Published on March 13, 2012. Fiction.
This book contains two ditties. The Musical Picture Tie. The author receives a gift, a musical picture tie (fanfare!). But, it is no ordinary tie, and the crazy adventure begins. The second ditty: The Open Mic Night Conspiracy tells of a sinister group whose members attend these evenings i.e open mic nights in pubs, and their ‘discoveries’ are used to do terrible things to people.
The Parallelogames
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. 18400 words. Published on March 10, 2012. Fiction.
It’s 2012! It’s time for the Olympics! Ah but! On an earth ‘twin’ planet, in a parallel Universe, they have a little extra. Someone came up with the bright idea of having Fringe Olympics i.e. various sports here and there which do not, for one reason or another, get to be part of the main events. What the Olympics do for seriousness, the Fringe Games do for ‘fun’. Enter the portal, and enjoy th
Price: $0.99 USD. 18400 words. Published on March 10, 2012. Fiction.
It’s 2012! It’s time for the Olympics! Ah but! On an earth ‘twin’ planet, in a parallel Universe, they have a little extra. Someone came up with the bright idea of having Fringe Olympics i.e. various sports here and there which do not, for one reason or another, get to be part of the main events. What the Olympics do for seriousness, the Fringe Games do for ‘fun’. Enter the portal, and enjoy th
A Pie, a Pint and a Pee
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. 8230 words. Published on March 3, 2012. Fiction.
I’m neither a football fan or a football writer. Actually, football, soccer, is all an awful lot of people have to make them happy, and that’s only if the team wins ... what a way to live. Do some people’s lives (an awful lot of them) really only have any quality meaning if their team wins?
Price: $0.99 USD. 8230 words. Published on March 3, 2012. Fiction.
I’m neither a football fan or a football writer. Actually, football, soccer, is all an awful lot of people have to make them happy, and that’s only if the team wins ... what a way to live. Do some people’s lives (an awful lot of them) really only have any quality meaning if their team wins?
The ‘Dry Stone Walled’ Pyramid
by Frankie Lassut
You set the price! 25560 words. Published on February 27, 2012. Fiction.
I would have said that the title story was based on the Staffordshire Stash, but I wrote this first (look the Staffordshire Stash up, very interesting). The Staffordshire Stash therefore is based on this story. The rest of the stories? Rats and lizards and things, plus other interesting stuff that pops up every now and then.
You set the price! 25560 words. Published on February 27, 2012. Fiction.
I would have said that the title story was based on the Staffordshire Stash, but I wrote this first (look the Staffordshire Stash up, very interesting). The Staffordshire Stash therefore is based on this story. The rest of the stories? Rats and lizards and things, plus other interesting stuff that pops up every now and then.
Reaper-Care
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. 6260 words. Published on February 20, 2012. Fiction.
Reaper-Care is too nice to be horror, yet too awful for a Sunday afternoon soap (especially the bit in the crem) ... so it sits halfway. Reaper-Care laughs at death, and will be seen to be very helpful in man’s darkest field, where mans darkest fears grow like dark cabbages. There are no ‘jump in seat’ scares, but probably a few cringes here and there.
Price: $0.99 USD. 6260 words. Published on February 20, 2012. Fiction.
Reaper-Care is too nice to be horror, yet too awful for a Sunday afternoon soap (especially the bit in the crem) ... so it sits halfway. Reaper-Care laughs at death, and will be seen to be very helpful in man’s darkest field, where mans darkest fears grow like dark cabbages. There are no ‘jump in seat’ scares, but probably a few cringes here and there.
Wot's the Matter
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. 10310 words. Published on February 15, 2012. Nonfiction.
When you look at the world, you could be excused for thinking, ‘what an awful place’, because of all the things that are happening both to you, and to other people ... few are going to explain that this is a trick, played by yourself, on yourself. Science will try and bamboozle you, religion will flummox you, and ,may even fill you with fear ... over ‘nothing’.
Price: $0.99 USD. 10310 words. Published on February 15, 2012. Nonfiction.
When you look at the world, you could be excused for thinking, ‘what an awful place’, because of all the things that are happening both to you, and to other people ... few are going to explain that this is a trick, played by yourself, on yourself. Science will try and bamboozle you, religion will flummox you, and ,may even fill you with fear ... over ‘nothing’.
Erotic Distraction No 4; Agony Grant
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.49 USD. 19940 words. Published on February 12, 2012. Fiction.
Grant is a self styled Agony Uncle, the world’s greatest; 'probably' doesn’t come into it. Although he doesn’t have any proper customers, Grant (named Agony Grant by his mate Trev), for publicity, uses the work of another famous agony columnist, just to show potential customers what an expert he really is; he has tons of common sense and bucket loads of compassion.Plenty of 'dirty bits inside...
Price: $1.49 USD. 19940 words. Published on February 12, 2012. Fiction.
Grant is a self styled Agony Uncle, the world’s greatest; 'probably' doesn’t come into it. Although he doesn’t have any proper customers, Grant (named Agony Grant by his mate Trev), for publicity, uses the work of another famous agony columnist, just to show potential customers what an expert he really is; he has tons of common sense and bucket loads of compassion.Plenty of 'dirty bits inside...
How I, One of Life's Star Members, Avoided the Jealous Wrath of My Social Class
by Frankie Lassut
Price: Free! 22130 words. Published on January 26, 2012. Essay.
Are 'you' a star player? Are you a person who could shine in life if they wanted to? Do you know the consequences when the people find out you've made money? How could you avoid the jealous wrath? Here's how I managed it ... ahhh, it's good to be accepted by your creed.
Price: Free! 22130 words. Published on January 26, 2012. Essay.
Are 'you' a star player? Are you a person who could shine in life if they wanted to? Do you know the consequences when the people find out you've made money? How could you avoid the jealous wrath? Here's how I managed it ... ahhh, it's good to be accepted by your creed.
Absurd Tales from the NHS
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.49 USD. 13280 words. Published on January 18, 2012. Fiction.
Ever since I read the House of God by Samuel Shem (which was recommended by a retired doctor I knew), I thought, ‘hospitals can’t be like that’. Well, erm, they can, and, as per usual, due to the, let’s call them ‘higher echelons’ (anyone above a ‘worker’), they can be a whole lot worse. Actually, thinking about it; ‘interesting’ might be a more suitable word.
Price: $1.49 USD. 13280 words. Published on January 18, 2012. Fiction.
Ever since I read the House of God by Samuel Shem (which was recommended by a retired doctor I knew), I thought, ‘hospitals can’t be like that’. Well, erm, they can, and, as per usual, due to the, let’s call them ‘higher echelons’ (anyone above a ‘worker’), they can be a whole lot worse. Actually, thinking about it; ‘interesting’ might be a more suitable word.
The Little Pink Well Being Bible (For Women Only)
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. 11450 words. Published on January 14, 2012. Nonfiction.
This offering is ‘how to remember you’re a special woman’. All woman are special, they just don’t realise it. Women populate the earth. Men impregnate them, but, that isn’t necessary; the Bible tells us that, twice at least (if you choose to believe that). So, men are there to lift heavy weights and move stuff. This handbook is therefore for women and their children. It consists of some useful wisdom, and some great reasons why you should all have massive, female, self-appreciation.
Price: $0.99 USD. 11450 words. Published on January 14, 2012. Nonfiction.
This offering is ‘how to remember you’re a special woman’. All woman are special, they just don’t realise it. Women populate the earth. Men impregnate them, but, that isn’t necessary; the Bible tells us that, twice at least (if you choose to believe that). So, men are there to lift heavy weights and move stuff. This handbook is therefore for women and their children. It consists of some useful wisdom, and some great reasons why you should all have massive, female, self-appreciation.
Heart Beet
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. 12030 words. Published on January 9, 2012. Fiction.
Love? What’s love? Something that makes you feel very good. Heart Beet? A woman finds the ‘perfect love’, or does she? Polystyrene. Is a mother’s love for her family maybe OTT? Or not? Selina? A bit controversial, but which love is the most important? (It’s the one most folk treat as the most unimportant).
Price: $0.99 USD. 12030 words. Published on January 9, 2012. Fiction.
Love? What’s love? Something that makes you feel very good. Heart Beet? A woman finds the ‘perfect love’, or does she? Polystyrene. Is a mother’s love for her family maybe OTT? Or not? Selina? A bit controversial, but which love is the most important? (It’s the one most folk treat as the most unimportant).
The Man with the World's Longest Single Eyebrow Hair
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. 7490 words. Published on January 5, 2012. Fiction.
A selection of ditties to make you feel normal! This is a hilarious true account. Sometimes single eyebrow hairs can go mad. The cruel sub-conscious? This is a true story as well. It turns out the sat nav was set for 1676, and was fitted to horse and carts; maps then were very crude. Garra Rufa? You know, the fish that tickle your feet. All that and more.
Price: $0.99 USD. 7490 words. Published on January 5, 2012. Fiction.
A selection of ditties to make you feel normal! This is a hilarious true account. Sometimes single eyebrow hairs can go mad. The cruel sub-conscious? This is a true story as well. It turns out the sat nav was set for 1676, and was fitted to horse and carts; maps then were very crude. Garra Rufa? You know, the fish that tickle your feet. All that and more.
Eggbertina Presents: Roger, the Talking Vibrator
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. 6160 words. Published on January 4, 2012. Fiction.
EggROTIC stories from my telepathic friend, Eggbertina, the ostrich love egg. Starts with her dictation from Roger, a talking vibrator, and finishes with Swiss watches, just after God tries to patent sex. There’s a great game too from Orgasmo-Corp (International DSS Jobseekers Newstart, Gateway, Global Multinational Corporation), which ladies might like to play at home?
Price: $0.99 USD. 6160 words. Published on January 4, 2012. Fiction.
EggROTIC stories from my telepathic friend, Eggbertina, the ostrich love egg. Starts with her dictation from Roger, a talking vibrator, and finishes with Swiss watches, just after God tries to patent sex. There’s a great game too from Orgasmo-Corp (International DSS Jobseekers Newstart, Gateway, Global Multinational Corporation), which ladies might like to play at home?
The Hidden History of Robin Hood and his Merrie Men
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.49 USD. 13660 words. Published on January 3, 2012. Fiction.
Blimey. And you thought they robbed the rich and gave it to the poor? Mind you, they didn’t actually get on very well with the sherriff, but still, they had a really good time when they pooled their various talents. Marian? She had a ‘really’ good time. The rest of the stories? Click Buzzz? ... mega trouble with a housefly. Pandora? ... Get your own PhD! Then, march forward, qualification in hand, and get a job in a fast food outlet as a cleaner. Jack? Written without alcohol (as they all were) Spannah? True story, apologies in advance. Being offended is good, it makes you feel alive.
Price: $1.49 USD. 13660 words. Published on January 3, 2012. Fiction.
Blimey. And you thought they robbed the rich and gave it to the poor? Mind you, they didn’t actually get on very well with the sherriff, but still, they had a really good time when they pooled their various talents. Marian? She had a ‘really’ good time. The rest of the stories? Click Buzzz? ... mega trouble with a housefly. Pandora? ... Get your own PhD! Then, march forward, qualification in hand, and get a job in a fast food outlet as a cleaner. Jack? Written without alcohol (as they all were) Spannah? True story, apologies in advance. Being offended is good, it makes you feel alive.
Where There's a Will...
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.49 USD. 12480 words. Published on December 30, 2011. Fiction.
This is the revised and updated version of A Flower in the Attic. It consists of two horror stories, and two sort of fantasy/mystery stories, both inspired by small events. I hope you enjoy them. Where there’s a will deals with a troublesome mother. Warm your cockles deals with growing cockles, and dangerous animals. A Nice Romantic Man? I hope you enjoy a good love story.
Price: $1.49 USD. 12480 words. Published on December 30, 2011. Fiction.
This is the revised and updated version of A Flower in the Attic. It consists of two horror stories, and two sort of fantasy/mystery stories, both inspired by small events. I hope you enjoy them. Where there’s a will deals with a troublesome mother. Warm your cockles deals with growing cockles, and dangerous animals. A Nice Romantic Man? I hope you enjoy a good love story.
Satan's Advocate
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. 6840 words. Published on December 24, 2011. Fiction.
Satan’s not a bad guy, it’s what he feeds on that’s the problem for humans. Humans though are so entrenched with beliefs that have been fed to them (and boy do they believe ‘anything’), that Satan appears to be the ultimate bad guy. What though if Satan is neutral, and just likes eating? What if the food supply is a non phys ...
Price: $0.99 USD. 6840 words. Published on December 24, 2011. Fiction.
Satan’s not a bad guy, it’s what he feeds on that’s the problem for humans. Humans though are so entrenched with beliefs that have been fed to them (and boy do they believe ‘anything’), that Satan appears to be the ultimate bad guy. What though if Satan is neutral, and just likes eating? What if the food supply is a non phys ...
Tits Up
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.49 USD. 16430 words. Published on December 20, 2011. Nonfiction.
Quiet self time is liquid gold time, it is so very precious. No quiet time, and noise prevails inside the human, and that’s the invite to madness, and in many cases, the doorway to the world of therapy. It’s not enough for sleep to be the only escape from an increasingly insane world. Silence is golden. Silence is our true nature.
Price: $1.49 USD. 16430 words. Published on December 20, 2011. Nonfiction.
Quiet self time is liquid gold time, it is so very precious. No quiet time, and noise prevails inside the human, and that’s the invite to madness, and in many cases, the doorway to the world of therapy. It’s not enough for sleep to be the only escape from an increasingly insane world. Silence is golden. Silence is our true nature.
A Little Wonky Fun with Frankie. No1 Bartering with Fish
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. 6070 words. Published on December 11, 2011. Fiction.
A bit of a laugh to cheer you up, but, if you're already cheered up, it's a bit of a laugh anyway. A pot pourri of stories, quips and a few mad thoughts that were flying around the universe doing nothing much in particular ... until now.
Price: $0.99 USD. 6070 words. Published on December 11, 2011. Fiction.
A bit of a laugh to cheer you up, but, if you're already cheered up, it's a bit of a laugh anyway. A pot pourri of stories, quips and a few mad thoughts that were flying around the universe doing nothing much in particular ... until now.
Of Cooouuurse! Make your Life Sparkle with Further Education
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.49 USD. 8160 words. Published on December 4, 2011. Fiction.
Three short ‘Wonky stories all about change, and/or improvement, bordering on the mad; but isn’t mad, wonderful?
Price: $1.49 USD. 8160 words. Published on December 4, 2011. Fiction.
Three short ‘Wonky stories all about change, and/or improvement, bordering on the mad; but isn’t mad, wonderful?
The Hell-Raising Rock and Roll Adventures of Alice Pooper and Iggy Popsicle
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.49 USD. 14590 words. Published on December 2, 2011. Fiction.
Can two rag dolls of rock gods Alice Pooper and Iggy Popsicle help save the world? Can the two of them persuade governments to stop the rot? We shall see. Rock On Man! Rather controvertial book! For some folk that is.
Price: $1.49 USD. 14590 words. Published on December 2, 2011. Fiction.
Can two rag dolls of rock gods Alice Pooper and Iggy Popsicle help save the world? Can the two of them persuade governments to stop the rot? We shall see. Rock On Man! Rather controvertial book! For some folk that is.
Mr Splish Splosh and the Silly People
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. 3280 words. Published on November 28, 2011. Fiction.
Revenge is designed to make you feel better when you’re angry; it’s one of the rungs on the ladder back to feeling good when you find yourself emotionally somewhere where you don’t want to be. Feeling ‘better’ in a positive fashion is cool, better than being in a negative state, where relief is then necessary for you to get back to positive land.
Price: $0.99 USD. 3280 words. Published on November 28, 2011. Fiction.
Revenge is designed to make you feel better when you’re angry; it’s one of the rungs on the ladder back to feeling good when you find yourself emotionally somewhere where you don’t want to be. Feeling ‘better’ in a positive fashion is cool, better than being in a negative state, where relief is then necessary for you to get back to positive land.
The Cleaning Lady and The Crystal Bell
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. 14940 words. Published on November 23, 2011. Fiction.
Most people work hard, which in most cases is an activity they don’t ‘choose’, to get money to do an activity they do choose, such as a holiday, or a Johnny Robinson Concert (Johnny Robinson Rocks!). Work is seen as a necessity, which most people do grudgingly, but they still do it to the best of their abilities if only to avoid a rollocking, or the sack?
Price: $0.99 USD. 14940 words. Published on November 23, 2011. Fiction.
Most people work hard, which in most cases is an activity they don’t ‘choose’, to get money to do an activity they do choose, such as a holiday, or a Johnny Robinson Concert (Johnny Robinson Rocks!). Work is seen as a necessity, which most people do grudgingly, but they still do it to the best of their abilities if only to avoid a rollocking, or the sack?
Can Penguin Soup Help Save the World?
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.49 USD. 27400 words. Published on November 16, 2011. Fiction.
Save the world? It’s a worn out idea, and nothing seems to work. Maybe the methods are not effective? There are other ways, the most effective is ‘make the mass of people value what you want to save’. Howzat?
Price: $1.49 USD. 27400 words. Published on November 16, 2011. Fiction.
Save the world? It’s a worn out idea, and nothing seems to work. Maybe the methods are not effective? There are other ways, the most effective is ‘make the mass of people value what you want to save’. Howzat?
The Return of the Pied Piper
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.99 USD. 33500 words. Published on November 6, 2011. Fiction.
I finish work for a few days, and get scared because I then didn’t have anyone to think for me. I go up North, but break down on the motorway. I am going to have to pay for a tow or a repair, but my credit card overhears and doesn’t like what it overhears. Why am I going anyway? My mother just spends a couple of days nagging me. Join me on my strange adventure.
Price: $1.99 USD. 33500 words. Published on November 6, 2011. Fiction.
I finish work for a few days, and get scared because I then didn’t have anyone to think for me. I go up North, but break down on the motorway. I am going to have to pay for a tow or a repair, but my credit card overhears and doesn’t like what it overhears. Why am I going anyway? My mother just spends a couple of days nagging me. Join me on my strange adventure.
One Year in Tibet
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.99 USD. 29930 words. Published on October 26, 2011. Fiction.
Fifteen minutes a day training the mind to work at optimum level? I fancy a bit of that. I thought, 'who are the Masters' at this? The Tibetan monks of course. I thought, I'll go there and do the job properly. Peace for twelve whole months! Just me, in a cave, no hassle! Perfect!
Price: $1.99 USD. 29930 words. Published on October 26, 2011. Fiction.
Fifteen minutes a day training the mind to work at optimum level? I fancy a bit of that. I thought, 'who are the Masters' at this? The Tibetan monks of course. I thought, I'll go there and do the job properly. Peace for twelve whole months! Just me, in a cave, no hassle! Perfect!
Oh, I do like to be beside the sea-side
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.49 USD. 9180 words. Published on October 4, 2011. Fiction.
A lot of people think that people in mental health asylums are there because they have gone mad for some reason, and are therefore locked up to keep them out of so called ‘normal society'. That isn’t quite right; they are there because normal society has driven them mad, and they are actually just downsizing.
Price: $1.49 USD. 9180 words. Published on October 4, 2011. Fiction.
A lot of people think that people in mental health asylums are there because they have gone mad for some reason, and are therefore locked up to keep them out of so called ‘normal society'. That isn’t quite right; they are there because normal society has driven them mad, and they are actually just downsizing.
Another Beautifully Krazee Kristmas
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. 6140 words. Published on September 25, 2011. Fiction.
Christmas Some banter from the other side of the fence, and also from the side you prefer. Everyone is entitled to celebrate the ‘love’ of Christmas, but, it is little to do with love, and there again, it is. Love is the most natural thing, but it’s trained out of us. Goodwill is trained into us as a ‘season’ (personally, I can’t get my head around that one.)
Price: $0.99 USD. 6140 words. Published on September 25, 2011. Fiction.
Christmas Some banter from the other side of the fence, and also from the side you prefer. Everyone is entitled to celebrate the ‘love’ of Christmas, but, it is little to do with love, and there again, it is. Love is the most natural thing, but it’s trained out of us. Goodwill is trained into us as a ‘season’ (personally, I can’t get my head around that one.)
The Penis Monologues
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.99 USD. 6560 words. Published on September 22, 2011. Fiction.
The Vagina Monologues have been around now for a long time, so, it's time the lads had a shot. It's very difficult being a man, to gather research from men, for this topic i.e. "Hello mate, what does Your 'thingy' smell like?" It will be interesting to see what kind of an audience this gets.
Price: $1.99 USD. 6560 words. Published on September 22, 2011. Fiction.
The Vagina Monologues have been around now for a long time, so, it's time the lads had a shot. It's very difficult being a man, to gather research from men, for this topic i.e. "Hello mate, what does Your 'thingy' smell like?" It will be interesting to see what kind of an audience this gets.
Bonfire Night at the Old Country Manor
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. 2290 words. Published on September 18, 2011. Fiction.
A short story in a style called 'Adulchi' for parents to read with thier young children or for older children to read by themselves. The story covers the Bonfire Night party that happens on November the 5th each year in England at an old country manor. The resident animals enjoy thier own party in thier own way.
Price: $0.99 USD. 2290 words. Published on September 18, 2011. Fiction.
A short story in a style called 'Adulchi' for parents to read with thier young children or for older children to read by themselves. The story covers the Bonfire Night party that happens on November the 5th each year in England at an old country manor. The resident animals enjoy thier own party in thier own way.
Badly Potty Trained
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. 6480 words. Published on September 5, 2011. Fiction.
Is chav culture (the way of the chav)a threat to British people? Is it fun to be scared to walk the streets? But, what if chavs are only badly potty trained, and need looking after nutritionally in a way which fits in with their Hyena like habits?
Price: $0.99 USD. 6480 words. Published on September 5, 2011. Fiction.
Is chav culture (the way of the chav)a threat to British people? Is it fun to be scared to walk the streets? But, what if chavs are only badly potty trained, and need looking after nutritionally in a way which fits in with their Hyena like habits?
A Few Dark Pages
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.49 USD. 14390 words. Published on August 30, 2011. Fiction.
Here we are! The master of horror from the famous, ‘Special’, Ghost Town of England brings you some truly awful thought: Bloodshed? Human stupidity? Revenge? You gottit! All from the receptive to the ‘darkest darkness mind’ of the unknown, Stephen Cling.
Price: $1.49 USD. 14390 words. Published on August 30, 2011. Fiction.
Here we are! The master of horror from the famous, ‘Special’, Ghost Town of England brings you some truly awful thought: Bloodshed? Human stupidity? Revenge? You gottit! All from the receptive to the ‘darkest darkness mind’ of the unknown, Stephen Cling.
Dandelion and Burdock (with a cherry on top)
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.49 USD. 7980 words. Published on August 14, 2011. Fiction.
The rise of a newspaper typhoon (the tea that is) and the rapid fall due to a terrible incident which was literally 'against the law'.
Price: $1.49 USD. 7980 words. Published on August 14, 2011. Fiction.
The rise of a newspaper typhoon (the tea that is) and the rapid fall due to a terrible incident which was literally 'against the law'.
Mind Shift, The Beautiful Art of Inn - vention
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.49 USD. 9770 words. Published on August 9, 2011. Fiction.
INN Ventions are inventions that have been devised in the surroundings of a pub somewhere. There are some really good ones in this collection, one or two that make the marketplace, and even the easy formula inventors use ... ‘and’ a guaranteed way of receiving money both without working, or trying.
Price: $1.49 USD. 9770 words. Published on August 9, 2011. Fiction.
INN Ventions are inventions that have been devised in the surroundings of a pub somewhere. There are some really good ones in this collection, one or two that make the marketplace, and even the easy formula inventors use ... ‘and’ a guaranteed way of receiving money both without working, or trying.
Nuts to Newton's Cradle
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. 13370 words. Published on August 8, 2011. Fiction.
Executive stress is a killer disease caused by the expendables on the workshop floor or the office. How can workers be so disobedient as to upset executives to the point where they have to have toys to take their minds off the effort of running a corporation, and getting nothing but hindrance from the staff ‘they’ hired; who are obviously ‘out to get them.’
Price: $0.99 USD. 13370 words. Published on August 8, 2011. Fiction.
Executive stress is a killer disease caused by the expendables on the workshop floor or the office. How can workers be so disobedient as to upset executives to the point where they have to have toys to take their minds off the effort of running a corporation, and getting nothing but hindrance from the staff ‘they’ hired; who are obviously ‘out to get them.’
The Chuckling Crab
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.49 USD. 15410 words. Published on July 17, 2011. Fiction.
The tantalising story of the Ghost Town's (Coventry) brilliant specialised seafood restaurant, which was made to sparkle by Nim Chana, an alien. The restaurant was a legend in its own lifetime. Mouth wateringly funny!
Price: $1.49 USD. 15410 words. Published on July 17, 2011. Fiction.
The tantalising story of the Ghost Town's (Coventry) brilliant specialised seafood restaurant, which was made to sparkle by Nim Chana, an alien. The restaurant was a legend in its own lifetime. Mouth wateringly funny!
Hans Christian Sandersen
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. 12760 words. Published on July 6, 2011. Fiction.
Two hilarious 'amazing' tales from the ghost-town of Coventry. Number one, concerning Mr Sandersen kind of like 'mirrors modernly' the life of a famous storyteller. It's a bit sexy here and there, but not in the way of 'you'll need a cold shower', but more in the way of 'you may be offended'. The second recount, Tramp, is about a down and out with an alcohol sponsored skill to thril
Price: $0.99 USD. 12760 words. Published on July 6, 2011. Fiction.
Two hilarious 'amazing' tales from the ghost-town of Coventry. Number one, concerning Mr Sandersen kind of like 'mirrors modernly' the life of a famous storyteller. It's a bit sexy here and there, but not in the way of 'you'll need a cold shower', but more in the way of 'you may be offended'. The second recount, Tramp, is about a down and out with an alcohol sponsored skill to thril
Granny Flatts- Witchcraft & Bitchcraft
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. 4600 words. Published on June 29, 2011. Fiction.
Witchcraft may be seen as evil or destructive, but, it it can heal people, and even save the world ... and admittedly, it can look bad in both cases, especially in the case of Granny Flatts ... but it's a lovely thing to do, really.
Price: $0.99 USD. 4600 words. Published on June 29, 2011. Fiction.
Witchcraft may be seen as evil or destructive, but, it it can heal people, and even save the world ... and admittedly, it can look bad in both cases, especially in the case of Granny Flatts ... but it's a lovely thing to do, really.
Erotic Distraction No3.1 The Blue Movie & Louise
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.49 USD. 6180 words. Published on June 24, 2011. Fiction.
The author visits a blue movie cinema, gets worked up and passionate. Then a disaster ...
Price: $1.49 USD. 6180 words. Published on June 24, 2011. Fiction.
The author visits a blue movie cinema, gets worked up and passionate. Then a disaster ...
Erotic Distraction No2 Cosmically Ordering Sex form a God with a Devilish Sense of Humour
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.49 USD. 4750 words. Published on June 21, 2011. Fiction.
(4.00 from 1 review)
I, the author, because I'm a wellbeing speaker. know that God has an 'offbeat' sense of humour.
Price: $1.49 USD. 4750 words. Published on June 21, 2011. Fiction.
(4.00 from 1 review) I, the author, because I'm a wellbeing speaker. know that God has an 'offbeat' sense of humour.
Erotic Distraction No1 Nessum Dorma
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.49 USD. 2890 words. Published on June 19, 2011. Fiction.
Erotic books all have the same theme, obviously; and the same end. This one deals with the eroticism embedded in Britain's Got Talent, and features a new sex toy invention.
Price: $1.49 USD. 2890 words. Published on June 19, 2011. Fiction.
Erotic books all have the same theme, obviously; and the same end. This one deals with the eroticism embedded in Britain's Got Talent, and features a new sex toy invention.
Irreverent Distractions No 5 TANNWO
by Frankie Lassut
Price: Free! 10550 words. Published on June 17, 2011. Fiction.
Lots of people say to problems local and world wide, "Why doesn't God sort this out?". To stop the people moaning about things a group called TANNWO have been inspired by God to answer the calling of the mass of people.
Price: Free! 10550 words. Published on June 17, 2011. Fiction.
Lots of people say to problems local and world wide, "Why doesn't God sort this out?". To stop the people moaning about things a group called TANNWO have been inspired by God to answer the calling of the mass of people.
Irreverent Distractions No4. The Fat of the gLand
by Frankie Lassut
Price: Free! 5310 words. Published on June 10, 2011. Fiction.
Some gravitationally challenged people get a lot of stick, but actually, they are extremely beneficial to the planet,and therefore mankind.
Price: Free! 5310 words. Published on June 10, 2011. Fiction.
Some gravitationally challenged people get a lot of stick, but actually, they are extremely beneficial to the planet,and therefore mankind.
Heart Failure
by Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.99 USD. 16830 words. Published on June 6, 2011. Nonfiction.
The real life sequel to the Tales from the NHSS. If your life is empty, uninteresting and funless? Then develop hypertension and heart failure and attract some zesty excitement. A true account from the wrong side of the canulae.
Price: $1.99 USD. 16830 words. Published on June 6, 2011. Nonfiction.
The real life sequel to the Tales from the NHSS. If your life is empty, uninteresting and funless? Then develop hypertension and heart failure and attract some zesty excitement. A true account from the wrong side of the canulae.
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