Frankie Lassut


Against all the odds, Frankie manages to write books and remain sane (ish) while working with two women, which is probably why they call themselves Wonky Books. The reason why they do this is fairly simple. Firstly, Frankie can't help writing books, as the process feels very good indeed. Secondly, if the reader gets as much fun from reading the titles as the team has during the writing process (proofing, formatting etc), then that's another person smiling ... mission accomplished.

Where to find Frankie Lassut online


Dragons’ ‘DEN’
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $2.50 USD. Words: 13,850. Language: English. Published: February 22, 2014. Category: Fiction
Dennis Brown is man whose mind’s connection to the Universe is a bit too good for this world. He’s a fish out of water. He’s lovely and helpful and wants a good life for himself and those close to him and the only way he sees of producing that personal scenario
Housework’s Invisible Gold
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $3.50 USD. Words: 25,940. Language: English. Published: February 19, 2014. Category: Nonfiction
like having babies, housework is really for women only; blokes won't do it. i'm, not saying that's right or wrong. what i'm saying is that women take the attitude they take because of a lack of understanding. this book is therefore, for women only.
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 26,340. Language: English. Published: February 10, 2014. Category: Nonfiction
People are so scared by this cancer ‘condition’ they get angry and offended at its very mention. People who hate their lives and there are many walking amongst the crowds of happy people in towns and cities, do not help themselves by additionally fearing this dark cloud. Our plague, cancer, we are told is very ‘evil’ ...
Sharpo's Town
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $2.10 USD. Words: 46,340. Language: English. Published: January 16, 2014. Category: Fiction
This is a true story, except for the bit’s that aren’t. Don’t be fooled. The bits that you think ‘are’ true, probably aren’t and the bits that you think aren’t true ... probably ‘are’ (probably). Anyway, saying that ... here is a recipe for your enjoyment. For your very own amusement fiasco stew.
The Pick of the Titter
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 27,940. Language: English. Published: January 11, 2014. Category: Fiction
Once upon a time many moons ago, Frankie bought a paper for a fiver which had been started by previous fizzy drink manufacturers Messers Dandelion and Burdock. The paper ran for a year, before mogul Frankie got bored and went looking for something else. The second book, The Darling Buds of June is about Shakespeare not being the author of his own work.
An Egyptian Farewell
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.49 USD. Words: 19,440. Language: English. Published: January 1, 2014. Category: Fiction
This we hope is an entertaining mix of short stories you can use to get yourself smiling at home, or, on a journey (if you’re driving, try reading them on traffic lights, not when you’re driving, duuuh). If you have as much fun reading them as we had writing and producing them, that will be our mission accomplished.
Mr Paganini
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 21,620. Language: English. Published: December 23, 2013. Category: Fiction
Part 1. It’s the author’s birthday! Time for blank chequebook celebration which include, hog roast, champagne and fireworks ... ‘not’. Someone feels sorry for him and leaves a gift on his step, which will be nice to open at his solo party. The gift though is mega and changes his life. Part 2 tells of the darker, sinister side of the guitar. You probably won’t believe it.
Close Encounters in Cannington
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 21,660. Language: English. Published: December 7, 2013. Category: Fiction
Starting in 1976, until its end in 1993, an event which took place in the agricultural college in Cannington, near Bridgewater, Somerset, stopped ‘local’ aliens from landing there and having a good time ‘researching’, which they had previously enjoyed. This true story is suitable for musicians and music lovers. It isn’t suitable for classical guitarists at all.
The Atomic Shepherd
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 8,820. Language: English. Published: December 5, 2013. Category: Fiction
Each year, the World’s Biggest Liar competition is held at the Bridge Inn at Santon Bridge, way up there in the wilds of the Cumbrian North West of England. Whoever tells the most convincing lie gets the trophy.The book is also filled out with several other stories all suitable for the competition ... the 2013 winner is shown, but not his story of course.
Bed, Knobs and Groom Tricks 2, Sleeping On the Job.
By Frankie Lassut
Series: Erotic Distractions, 10. Price: $1.49 USD. Words: 11,780. Language: English. Published: November 17, 2013. Category: Fiction
Learning the lesson from the first book, Dubai, I left the toilet door ajar this time and a draught closed it. The last book (Dubai ... well, did you? Dubai it? LOL!) is out there doing its thing, so now, locked in the loo again, I may as well start part 2.
A Little book of Mumagination
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.49 USD. Words: 4,090. Language: English. Published: November 13, 2013. Category: Fiction
This small book is designed to be read by mums. Hopefully if they like the short imaginative stories, they can then adapt the stories and tell them, in their own words to their child/children using the pictures.Goes hand in hand with Super Nature Imagination and Imagination City, Broken Toy and Thing hospital. Imagination is a powerful tool, nowadays used by sports and businesses alike. Introduci
Imagination City
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.49 USD. Words: 2,710. Language: English. Published: November 9, 2013. Category: Fiction
I happen to enjoy finding broken and abandoned toys and things on the floor, picking them up, and giving them some time in my hospital before finding them somthing to do ... something which they enjoy. It’s a nice hospital. Very friendly, full of smiles when the patients feel a little better after they have had a rest after being rescued. It’s nice to go for a walk, find a sad face and know that
Bed, Knobs and Groom Tricks, Dubai
By Frankie Lassut
Series: Erotic Distractions, 9. Price: $1.49 USD. Words: 6,040. Language: English. Published: November 7, 2013. Category: Fiction
You wouldn’t believe it, the toilet door is jammed again. I have nothing to do but wait until the locksmith arrives. Saying that, and idea comes to mind, so I take my notebook from the rear pocket of my diamond and ruby studded jeans and emerald encrusted belt ... and begin to write some erotica. This though is erotica with a difference, so avant garde you will need binoculars to see that garde.
Marvo the Plumber
By Frankie Lassut
Series: Fun and Fantasy, Book 23. Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 58,030. Language: English. Published: November 3, 2013. Category: Fiction
Five short stories written to entertain the writer while waiting for the locksmith to come and release him from the toilet after the door jammed. It's a good job he always carries a notebook and pen. When he had filled the notebook with Marvo (Inspired by Woody Allen), he had to use the toilet roll to do the rest of the stories.
Super Nature Imagination
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 2,360. Language: English. Published: October 24, 2013. Category: Fiction
Three stories based on a super style of nature from the imagination of the author, which is very child like and so, able to see the beauty of the world in easy to follow ‘short tale form’. The stories have a wellbeing flavour, and Frankie talks about the soul of the tree, and the friendly vibration of the pot figurine. He does all the photography too.
Pineapple Pleasure 2 - Sleeping on The Job
By Frankie Lassut
Series: Erotic Distractions. Price: $1.49 USD. Words: 11,610. Language: English. Published: July 28, 2013. Category: Fiction
Carl, Tony and their little winged friend Super Fly get together again. This time they travel to lands far and distant in a flying ‘rig’ designed by Super Fly, to a secret lab where a fantastic scientific/electronics expert genius (you wouldn’t believe how he achieved that position) in a secret lab, helps them design the world’s greatest, revolutionary, ‘probably’ sex toy.
An Amusing Imagination No1
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 31,170. Language: English. Published: July 18, 2013. Category: Fiction
Here you go reader, two cupped handfuls of amusement. We hope you enjoy the stories. What else can we say? Enjoy, enjoy, be amused, smile ... get more amused, smile a bit more. Erm, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy ... be amused, be very amused, have a laugh. Erm, enjoy, enjoy, enjoy and we hope you will be amused., amused, amused, amused.
Four Tales of Awful Horror
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.49 USD. Words: 15,390. Language: English. Published: June 16, 2013. Category: Fiction
This is a respectful tribute to the recently passed British horror author, the great, the well loved James Herbert. The four short stories have been written down by Frankie who channels the souls of who were great unknown British horror writers, James Turbot and Stephen Cling. October-Aurora-Sunrise
Hickory Dickory's Mouse Diner
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 3,910. Language: English. Published: May 27, 2013. Category: Fiction
If you have mice that are socially more refined than where you actually live, you may, if you don’t like killing mice with traps (it isn’t very nice, is it), take care of their culinary habits. We’re guessing 8-10 years with the reader age range. Maybe younger might enjoy it (if read with an adult). Adults may like to ‘borrow it and read it’?
The Legend of Billy Big Eyes
By Frankie Lassut
Series: Erotic Distractions. Price: $1.49 USD. Words: 7,230. Language: English. Published: May 15, 2013. Category: Fiction
One morning, quite a while after his operation, Billy wakes up to find his life has to change. Things change again after his boyfriend has an argument with some fish. A little different from the normal erotica, but less boring (so to speak).
The Fairies of Burpy Glade
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 3,260. Language: English. Published: March 6, 2013. Category: Nonfiction
A story about some cheeky fairies that have quite an unpopular talent. Perfect for naughty children 'and' cheeky adults. We had to click the fiction button, but, is the story actually 'fiction'?
Jeremy Kyle - King of the Chavs
By Frankie Lassut
Series: Fun and Fantasy, Book 22. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 20,640. Language: English. Published: January 29, 2013. Category: Fiction
Jeremy Kyle (famous British broadcasting personality) becomes King of the Chavs (the underprivileged) through his morning TV show, and sets about matching chav babies with fathers (God even stresses over the thought of that one), and achieving 100% proper job rate amongst the same fathers (God? Don’t even go there). As good a Monarch as he is, Jeremy forgets one vital need of his people.
The Tipsy Trip
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 21,290. Language: English. Published: January 11, 2013. Category: Fiction
Frankie has quite a good sense of humour, which on occasion, can raise a smile on people's faces. Since writing a book about his old home town, Millom's strange history, he decided to extend the view to include the rest of Cumbria.
SPC Jones & The Plobster
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 11,330. Language: English. Published: December 31, 2012. Category: Fiction
Looking back, Frankie seems to remember that this funky little piece was a present for Jenny. She seemed like an interesting lady, and he thought he would record a snippet of her life as a Frie-Ography, a friend biography. At the time, she ‘was’ a Special PC, a lady of money making ideas, a supermarket worker, and a keen weekend fell walker and climber in Wales and the English Lake District.
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 25,500. Language: English. Published: December 4, 2012. Category: Nonfiction
The story of Coventry's 'Greatest' 'EVER' bus driver.The story of Coventry's 'Greatest' 'EVER' bus driver. The journey to Godlike status begins in the car park of a school where Frankie is teaching, where an invention is born. This leads to an inventions company where our not yet God-like hero puts his brain through a potato mincer, then finds out what failure tastes like.
The Gift of Dementia
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 26,230. Language: English. Published: August 16, 2012. Category: Nonfiction
The people of the world plod along ... and plod along.People are conditioned into ways of life that don’t ‘work’, yet they keep on doing them and keep on doing them, but they don’t work, so they just keep on repeating them, but they don’t work so ... try again. And the same things happen, but we can’t fix them and neither can the people who we give our trust and hope to in order to fix them.
Pineapple Pleasure
By Frankie Lassut
Series: Erotic Distractions. Price: $1.49 USD. Words: 4,920. Language: English. Published: August 6, 2012. Category: Fiction
(4.00 from 1 review)
Carl and Tony are two gay guys living together in a Civil Partnership.Carl’s dream is to go to Dubai for the holiday of a lifetime, but they have little money, with the only compensation being a good sex life.Is this to be it? A life where they are sexually fulfilled, but broke. It could be worse, but it could be a hell of a lot better too. October-Aurora-Sunrise (Frankie’s PA).
Wonderful Irreverence
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 40,990. Language: English. Published: July 23, 2012. Category: Fiction
Irreverence just means a lack of respect. Frankie says this was fun to write. Distractions are short stories to take your mind off the awfulness that is your day. The never ending brain pounding of your work (?), the Olympics, Recessions, unemployment, crime, and a million other things. Have fun. Laugh ... and then try to laugh at your day. October-Aurora-Sunrise (Frankie’s trauma buddy, PA.
The Even Thinner Collection
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 12,530. Language: Commonwealth English. Published: July 9, 2012. Category: Fiction
This is the first collection from Stephen Cling’s Chizzel House of Horror, the superior cousin to Hammer. In his last book, which he shared with James Turbot, Cling gave such delights as Coo Joe, and Miserly ...written to help Stephen King improve, get richer, and build a bigger fan base. This time he gives you Even Thinner and Firestarter Meets ... can’t tell you yet.
The Music of Your Life
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 18,110. Language: English. Published: June 30, 2012. Category: Nonfiction
For women only (men just don’t get it ... it isn’t soccer or baseball), Do you like your life? Do you know that everything in the Universe vibrates? Did you know that this means you live in an active musical symphony? Did you know that you are a musician in this symphony? Did you know that the music you produce attracts your reality (part of the symphony)?.Read all about it!(I shouted that).
The bLAUGHSphemic Double Dare
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 24,670. Language: English. Published: May 30, 2012. Category: Fiction
Once upon a time, the word blasphsphemy must have been spelt blaughsphemy, until the inventors of wonderful religion removed a few of the letters, and with it the fun aspect of the word. They then made ‘you know who’ an angry entity, out to get us for eating fruit one fateful day; a terrible, terrible, sin. Sin ... don’t you just ‘love it’...
Irreverent Distraction No.6, Beware of the Scientists
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 6,910. Language: English. Published: April 3, 2012. Category: Fiction
You read in the paper; ‘drinking red wine may cause cancer, say scientists’ ... so you analyse your red wine intake (and cut down). One month later, you read; ‘red wine may not be a cause of cancer, say scientists’ ... so you up your red wine intake, because you’re ok to do so now ... you’ve been given the all clear by the ‘experts’. But wait! Your ‘red wine soup’ causes cancer ... again
A Hand in Horror
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 9,100. Language: English. Published: March 24, 2012. Category: Fiction
Strangely enough, this could almost be looked at as a love story, between men, but certainly not gay (not that there is anything at all wrong with gay). It is not written as a love story, but the writings contained are from two would be teachers, to their undisputed ‘heroes’, written in an attempt to make their heroes even greater. Can a teacher love a pupil?
The Parallelogames
By Frankie Lassut
Series: Fun and Fantasy, Book 17. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 10,600. Language: English. Published: March 10, 2012. Category: Fiction
It’s 2012! It’s time for the Olympics! Ah but! On an earth ‘twin’ planet, in a parallel Universe, they have a little extra. Someone came up with the bright idea of having Fringe Olympics i.e. various sports here and there which do not, for one reason or another, get to be part of the main events. What the Olympics do for seriousness, the Fringe Games do for ‘fun’. Enter the portal, and enjoy th
A Pie, a Pint and a Pee
By Frankie Lassut
Series: Fun and Fantasy, Book 16. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 8,230. Language: English. Published: March 3, 2012. Category: Fiction
I’m neither a football fan or a football writer. Actually, football, soccer, is all an awful lot of people have to make them happy, and that’s only if the team wins ... what a way to live. Do some people’s lives (an awful lot of them) really only have any quality meaning if their team wins?
Wot's the Matter
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 10,310. Language: English. Published: February 15, 2012. Category: Nonfiction
When you look at the world, you could be excused for thinking, ‘what an awful place’, because of all the things that are happening both to you, and to other people ... few are going to explain that this is a trick, played by yourself, on yourself. Science will try and bamboozle you, religion will flummox you, and ,may even fill you with fear ... over ‘nothing’.
Erotic Distraction No 4; Agony Grant
By Frankie Lassut
Series: Erotic Distractions. Price: $1.49 USD. Words: 19,940. Language: English. Published: February 12, 2012. Category: Fiction
Grant is a self styled Agony Uncle, the world’s greatest; 'probably' doesn’t come into it. Although he doesn’t have any proper customers, Grant (named Agony Grant by his mate Trev), for publicity, uses the work of another famous agony columnist, just to show potential customers what an expert he really is; he has tons of common sense and bucket loads of compassion.Plenty of 'dirty bits inside...
Absurd Tales from the NHS
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $3.49 USD. Words: 20,720. Language: English. Published: January 18, 2012. Category: Fiction
The NHS in Britain is in crisis, so this should be an interesting read for those who like hospital dramas. I'm an outsider, but the people from the NHS who have read it have said ... "Too close for comfort." Some from other walks of life have said ... "Well that sounds about true."
The Little Pink Well Being Bible (For Women Only)
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 11,450. Language: English. Published: January 14, 2012. Category: Nonfiction
This offering is ‘how to remember you’re a special woman’. All woman are special, they just don’t realise it. Women populate the earth. Men impregnate them, but, that isn’t necessary; the Bible tells us that, twice at least (if you choose to believe that). So, men are there to lift heavy weights and move stuff. This handbook is therefore for women and their children. It consists of some useful wisdom, and some great reasons why you should all have massive, female, self-appreciation.
Heart Beet
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 12,030. Language: English. Published: January 9, 2012. Category: Fiction
Love? What’s love? Something that makes you feel very good. Heart Beet? A woman finds the ‘perfect love’, or does she? Polystyrene. Is a mother’s love for her family maybe OTT? Or not? Selina? A bit controversial, but which love is the most important? (It’s the one most folk treat as the most unimportant).
Eggbertina Presents: Roger, the Talking Vibrator
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 6,160. Language: English. Published: January 4, 2012. Category: Fiction
EggROTIC stories from my telepathic friend, Eggbertina, the ostrich love egg. Starts with her dictation from Roger, a talking vibrator, and finishes with Swiss watches, just after God tries to patent sex. There’s a great game too from Orgasmo-Corp (International DSS Jobseekers Newstart, Gateway, Global Multinational Corporation), which ladies might like to play at home?
The Hidden History of Robin Hood and his Merrie Men
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 18,560. Language: English. Published: January 3, 2012. Category: Fiction
Blimey. And you thought they robbed the rich and gave it to the poor? Mind you, they didn’t actually get on very well with the sherriff, but still, they had a really good time when they pooled their various talents. Marian? She had a ‘really’ good time. Now has a new fun 'evil' section on witchcraft ...
Where There's a Will...
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $1.49 USD. Words: 12,480. Language: English. Published: December 30, 2011. Category: Fiction
This is the revised and updated version of A Flower in the Attic. It consists of two horror stories, and two sort of fantasy/mystery stories, both inspired by small events. I hope you enjoy them. Where there’s a will deals with a troublesome mother. Warm your cockles deals with growing cockles, and dangerous animals. A Nice Romantic Man? I hope you enjoy a good love story.
Satan's Advocate
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 6,840. Language: English. Published: December 24, 2011. Category: Fiction
Satan’s not a bad guy, it’s what he feeds on that’s the problem for humans. Humans though are so entrenched with beliefs that have been fed to them (and boy do they believe ‘anything’), that Satan appears to be the ultimate bad guy. What though if Satan is neutral, and just likes eating? What if the food supply is a non phys ...
Tits Up
By Frankie Lassut
Series: Fun and Fantasy, Book 14. Price: $1.49 USD. Words: 16,430. Language: English. Published: December 20, 2011. Category: Nonfiction
Quiet self time is liquid gold time, it is so very precious. No quiet time, and noise prevails inside the human, and that’s the invite to madness, and in many cases, the doorway to the world of therapy. It’s not enough for sleep to be the only escape from an increasingly insane world. Silence is golden. Silence is our true nature.
The Hell-Raising Rock and Roll Adventures of Alice Pooper and Iggy Popsicle
By Frankie Lassut
Series: Fun and Fantasy, Book 11. Price: $1.49 USD. Words: 14,590. Language: English. Published: December 2, 2011. Category: Fiction
Can two rag dolls of rock gods Alice Pooper and Iggy Popsicle help save the world? Can the two of them persuade governments to stop the rot? We shall see. Rock On Man! Rather controvertial book! For some folk that is.
Mr Splish Splosh and the Silly People
By Frankie Lassut
Series: Fun and Fantasy, Book 10. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 3,280. Language: English. Published: November 28, 2011. Category: Fiction
Revenge is designed to make you feel better when you’re angry; it’s one of the rungs on the ladder back to feeling good when you find yourself emotionally somewhere where you don’t want to be. Feeling ‘better’ in a positive fashion is cool, better than being in a negative state, where relief is then necessary for you to get back to positive land.
The Cleaning Lady and The Crystal Bell
By Frankie Lassut
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 14,940. Language: English. Published: November 23, 2011. Category: Fiction
Most people work hard, which in most cases is an activity they don’t ‘choose’, to get money to do an activity they do choose, such as a holiday, or a Johnny Robinson Concert (Johnny Robinson Rocks!). Work is seen as a necessity, which most people do grudgingly, but they still do it to the best of their abilities if only to avoid a rollocking, or the sack?
The Return of the Pied Piper
By Frankie Lassut
Series: Fun and Fantasy, Book 8. Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 33,500. Language: English. Published: November 6, 2011. Category: Fiction
I finish work for a few days, and get scared because I then didn’t have anyone to think for me. I go up North, but break down on the motorway. I am going to have to pay for a tow or a repair, but my credit card overhears and doesn’t like what it overhears. Why am I going anyway? My mother just spends a couple of days nagging me. Join me on my strange adventure.
One Year in Tibet
By Frankie Lassut
Series: Fun and Fantasy, Book 7. Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 29,930. Language: English. Published: October 26, 2011. Category: Fiction
Fifteen minutes a day training the mind to work at optimum level? I fancy a bit of that. I thought, 'who are the Masters' at this? The Tibetan monks of course. I thought, I'll go there and do the job properly. Peace for twelve whole months! Just me, in a cave, no hassle! Perfect!
View more...

Frankie Lassut’s tag cloud

accident    advice    alcester    allotment    allowing    aquarians    atlantis the lost empire    attitude    autumn    beckham    bus driving    cancer and hope    cannington    caring    children    childrens book    childrens story    chores    cleaning    cleaning house    climate    confidence    confusion    couples    coventry    cream    cumbria    cynisism    death    dementia    disgusting    duarte    earth    energy    entertainment    erotica    escapism    fairies    fantasy    feeding    fifa    fish    food    football    freedom    friendship    fun    games    gardening    gay    god    golf    great stories    guide    guitar stories    guru    hairdressers    happy    hardknott pass    health    health wellbeing    help    hidden agenda    history    horror    hospital    humans    humor    humor and satire    humor and self help    humour    hunger    icecream    ideas    imaginary    imagination    inventions    jameater    joss naylor    judd    juddy    lake district    laughter    letters    liar    lies    life    life style    love    love god    maid service    manipulation    meditation    mental health    mice    millom    moneymaking    mummification    murder    music    music and adventure    myths    nature    newspaper fiction    nuts    ocean    olympics    peanut butter    photography    pleasure    poetry    police    political    pot holing    power    problems    rats    relationships    repression    research    restaurant    revenge    robin hood    romance    rooney    rugby league    satan    satire    saving    science    scientists    sea    sea food    self esteem    self help    self improvement    sellafield    sex    shakespearan    sharpo    short fiction    short stories    shorts    sin    skivvy    socisl class    solitude    spain    strawberries    symphony    tales    tibet    time lords    tits    toys    true story    vickers    violin    watches    wellbeing    work    world    world cup    yingyang