really good descriptions, likable characters, good progression. However, a particular description, gave away the "culprit" too soon and immediately. The ending came too quick, and was open ended. Will she be ok with what she has to do now?
I could have done without the "F**K" words.
I think much more could have been done with it.
I'm old fashioned, I read to be taken to exotic places, or look at non exotic places in a new light. I like character driven characters. what makes them tick, why do they chose to do what they do, etc.
I looked at 50+ summaries before landing on this one.
I'm tired of the same scenerios-different book.
I don't like that the majority of them are basically women's porno.
I want to read something and have it stay with me some time after because it seemed so real.
I like when someone makes a male character driven by a moral code, not just blatant lust, like in most of them.
But who am I to judge, I can't get my story off the ground.
wow, very nice! great descriptions. I could have done with out the Angel saying the word "A-s" and the mom saying "B--ch"
He/they are a different "race" why would he/they use human "slang" if he/they didn't live among them?
It dates the story.
I like to read "literature" not swear words, they just grate on me, and kind of ruin the "moment" Like "Romeo, Romeo where the H-ll art thou" you see?
It's like a Ballerina tripping. You're engrossed in the story in the dance, and she leaps up to land lightly on her toes, but instead ends up in an indignified heap, thus tripping up the beauty of the story.
Your angel description was amazing, like he was standing there. I thought his tempered words, would be the same.
It was hard to read, him paying her a compliment with such a harsh word, for something he admired.
It still bugs me, I think "shall I drop you?" said earnestly, or commandingly (as is his nature)as he nuzzled her ear saying it, would have made both his nature, and his feelings perfectly clear, without being blatant.
She would have been equally puzzled.
personal pet peeve I guess, I find swear words, or derogatory insults, to be empty words. I don't want to hear or read meaningless words. Threats are ok though "If I ever catch you, or your minions near my daughter EVER, I will personally incinerate you all!!" vs "got to h-ll, you b--ch"!
In the first one, I can see her doing so, the later is not a mental image.
I couldn't even understand the story/dialog/plot of the movie "White Men Can't Jump" because they said "F--K" every 5 seconds.
very engaging, in my opinion. very likable characters. I could have done without the "F-----g" words. Someone like the girl, who is a lot like me, would in my opinion see herself more refined, than to use such "filthy" words. I'm not English, but I say "bloody", Oh, crud, instead. Even oh F---fudge!
I don't think Alik would use them either, in my opinion, he would use the explictive of his time, in his language. Dion, would use them, because he's a "morpher" (blends in with the current time more)
This story is a lot like one I thought up, Lissa and Alik, are VERY like the personas of my characters. I can't seem to get my story off the ground. But the characters are similar, city at night (out for a different reason), girl needing rescued,vamp (high vantage point hears her), going against his nature to rescue her, except in mine, the vamp takes her to HIS apartment. She meets my vamps "son" first,then him, but doesn't know what they are, until the son comes to the aid of his "father," who was attacked by the enemy. She sees, the son and recognizes him from her meeting with him weeks earlier. though she didn't know that he knew the other. She finds out what they are, when the son desperate to save his "father" appears like a gust of wind, whooshing through the open balcony door, fangs out, menacing face. He remembers her, and is puzzled why she is in his "father's" apartment, but pushes that thought aside, to help his failing father. That's as far as I got. Mine are a clan also, though under only one patriarc. The elder, his son, his son, and his son, 4 of them, each from a different time in history to the present.The second one, mainly whom the story is about, has a quiet, observing demenor, and full body tatoos, that tell the important details of his long life, he is in essence, a walking book.
I can't wait to read about the rest of the lives of yours. :)
I don't know if the full story of mine will ever be written, but I plan to have someone paint their portraits, so they can live that way.
So reading your story, was a way to half see mine, half play out, and mirror characters live. :)
To me, this is simply done, but very meaningful and humorous.
Good Job! It's really sad, that stuff like Americans being able to afford basic needs (food, shelter, homes, jobs & security) are even an issue in America, the "land of the free!" NOT! Unless they mean free of food, shelter, etc.
The police r supposed to catch MALevolent people, not BENevolent ones.
I know, I was chased around by them 4 being homeless. If people are NOT a danger to others, or property, then leave them be!
What will you cops do when the lay-offs reach the police force?
Some cops have committed the same crimes, as the criminals they try to catch. How are people supposed to regard them as benevolent protectors, if they go around harrassing unarmed citizens, for stupid reasons?? "do you have a permit for that yard sale?" "do you have a licence for that dog?" "but officer, I just found him." "no skateboarding on the sidewalk, young man".
The working class, AVOID cops like the plague, because they don't need additional "fines" taken from their already meager paychecks.
I won't go/park anywhere there are parking meters because I don't need a $60.00 fine because the meter expired a second before I got there because one of the kids had to go to the bathroom, or we couldn't cross a busy street fast enough with kids. I AM sick about how America IS NOT free, people aren't even free to teach their own kids in some states without mandatory regulations/curriculum "guidelines", to ensure the kid is actually getting an "education"(according to their specifications), so (homeschooling) mom has to report to the educational "babysitters", even when her DISABLED KID may not have the capacity to understand said mandatory curriculum. Kids are not compliant, carbon copy robots! duh! All they care about is test scores, not kids themselves. What happens when a "challenged" kid can't handle the mandatory curriculum at a public school? He goes ballstic because no one will listen to HIM, as an INDIVIDUAL, and innocent people die, or he gets bullied by teachers for being "lazy", or bulled by kids for being "weird". Wake up people in power, unhappy civilians makes for a weak country! A weak country will eventually burn out, be conqured, defected, integrated or suffer infinite turmoil, a dessimated economy, etc. duh! happy civilians, = a strong country. less homeless, more workers, more taxes, better economy! duh. If I can see this, why can't they. Quit using taxpayers money to fund fish&wildlife/BLM who go around eradicating America's wildlife, to boost "game" populations to sell high dollar "permits" to trophy hunters, stop funding CPS/ICE, who go around yanking families apart, with no probable cause.
There's soooooooo much unjustness in America, everything morally wrong is approved, and everything morally right is persecuted.
I liked it a lot. It was written in a very vivid style, describing, people, and places, so well, you could "see" "hear", and "feel" them. It was written with people's actions, or descriptions of their actions, telling a lot about the nature, and way of being, of other people.
I liked the ending, it was the most dignified (um, can't say, cause it is a spoiler) ----ing, that I've read or seen so far.
Only two things bugged me, 1. the Dr's name, multisylable "tripping"/coarse kind of name, and 2. his blue velvet coat, which was odd - to reader & characters, to wear in that setting. A couple of flashbacks to set the drs origins, (is/was he german/polish, slavic, etc, How/when/what time in the past, was he from, how long ago, what was his native homeland/language, how did he end up in this town, in this job, in this time?) would have been nice.
Maybe the author dropped hints, but I missed them.
I personally didn't like, that he took it upon himself to randomly decide whom to "personally attend to", when he could've done so much more. It's kind of really selfish, in my opinion. Some things happened the way they did, only because he, and only he, wanted that particular outcome.
Other than those peeves, it was very engrossing.
It was a nice historical fiction tale.
I also liked that it wasn't a "porno romance", like most "romance" books these days, that really have no real romance, commitment, bonds, dedication, LOVE, etc., just basically the same intimate scenerio (basically describing what hookers do) as in virtually every other "modern" "romance" book these days. This one was NOT like those.
I like "character study" books, books that reveal what the characters, likes, dislikes, motivations, characteristics, ethics, etc are. This book, IS one of those types, and was a memorable read for me.
Twilight Lady #1 of 4
on July 23, 2012
will we find out who she is? Is there anymore story?
short beginning? mystery solved. who done it. she did, but who/what is she?