Location: United States
Member Since: Dec. 23, 2010
5 users have added this author as a favorite.

Paul Hawkins


Publisher info

American author. I am happy to be a child of the space age and still set my sights on great things. I put humor in everything I write because that is my disposition. If I chronicle the 20th century it is only because I have not given up on the 21st.

Where to find Paul Hawkins online

Website: http://www.phawkins.com
Twitter: hawkblog
    Facebook: Facebook profile

    Publisher of



    Manners and Murders: A Chinese Fairy Tale of the Stars and Bars    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: Free! 8400 words. Published by Paul Hawkins  on February 26, 2013. .
    A young man in a totalitarian state gets a surprise visit from his mysterious uncle, who invokes subversive memories of a place once called "America."
    Diary from the Wall Street Occupation!    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: $1.00 USD. 1830 words. Published by Paul Hawkins  on October 13, 2011. .
    (4.00)
    Three days in the life of a student protesting the plight of the poor from her iPad and iPhone. iPity, iSympathize, iProtest, then iGoBacktoMyPrivateCollege. By iCare. Republished in honor of those students protesting for college credit. When your pee freezes before it hits the ground, that's when you discover what you're really made of.

    Books

    Manners and Murders: A Chinese Fairy Tale of the Stars and Bars    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: Free! 8400 words. Published by Paul Hawkins  on February 26, 2013. Fiction.
    A young man in a totalitarian state gets a surprise visit from his mysterious uncle, who invokes subversive memories of a place once called "America."
    Angels and Electrons: A Sub-Suburb Tale    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: Free! 49940 words. Published on November 17, 2012. Fiction.
    Murder, mayhem, deep depression, and an attempt to contact angels or aliens - all in the wake of Oklahoma's oil bust of the 1980's. Germans, plans of apokalypse, a forgotten World War II invention, and the faint possibility of redempton - all a stone's throw from the baitshop and the trailer park.
    The Party at the End of the World – A Dream Vision and Fragment    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: Free! 1260 words. Published on August 19, 2012. Fiction.
    Short fiction - 1000 words. A dream vision and fragment of the day after the end of the world. A light comes from the long-abandoned downtown and the party at the end of the world begins. Quasi-religious, post-apokalytic, a fragment you might find on a scrap of paper in the derelict downtown of any industrial city -- a notion of what happens when the world comes to an end but you're still here.
    Zoomobile 3000    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: Free! 2160 words. Published on July 14, 2012. Fiction.
    A chimp won in a hand of poker leads to the fulfillment of a man's life-long dream and then unlocks a destiny greater than he could have ever imagined. Humor, around 2000 words.
    Nihilism Sucks: Of Human Hope and Larry’s Hail Mary Pass in the Craigslist Personals    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: $0.99 USD. 3550 words. Published on July 9, 2012. Fiction.
    Nine comic short-shorts deleted at the last moment from "Leaves of Grass" by an alternate timeline Walt Whitman. What was he thinking?!? His loss is your gain. For a limited time only this rare collection can be yours for free! Take that, Nietzsche, you worn-out grumpus. Life is funny. Includes the title story, "The Wishing Bird," "Phil Lamont: Attorney for the Damned," and more!
    High Crimes and Mr. Wieners    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: Free! 5700 words. Published on July 7, 2012. Fiction.
    When a local kid's TV show personality and his seven trained dachshunds get kicked to the curb in favor of generic PBS programming, the discovery of a hotdog-man suit in a fast food dumpster leads to a new career as a costumed crime fighter (hey, dogs have to eat). And will the lady in his life discover his secret? Okay, let's admit it - there is no lady in his life - just lots of mooched wifi.
    Punchafish    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: Free! 2220 words. Published on June 22, 2012. Fiction.
    In the tradition of "Moby Dick," "The Old Man and the Sea" and the great Ali-Foreman bout of 1974 comes a man vs fish story for the 21st century. It's survival of the fittest for George Miller, a down-and-out working stiff who has to beat the odds (and a really big fish) to reclaim his dignity. Short story, humor, around 2000 words.
    Middleburg: a Zeppelin-Friendly Community    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: Free! 2000 words. Published on June 20, 2012. Fiction.
    When an army-surplus dirigible goes on sale, Enzo Fabrioli jumps at the chance to make his city a happier place by providing a soothing, floating solution to commuter traffic jams. But the stakeholders in the local light rail boondoggle see it as a call to arms. Only one side can win, and the city power brokers have seldom met the likes of Enzo. Short story, humor, around 2000 words.
    A Cure for All Known Diseases    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: Free! 840 words. Published on June 5, 2012. Fiction.
    (4.00 from 1 review)
    Short literary fiction: Set in the 1933 Philippines: a woman yearns for something more from life while her doctor husband longs to make the world a safer, tidier place.
    Short and Stupid: Ten Somewhat Dark Short Stories for a Rainy Day    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: Free! 5810 words. Published on June 5, 2012. Fiction.
    0.5 star(4.50 from 2 reviews)
    Now with four bonus stories! Is man by nature evil, or stupid, or both? These ten short-short stories (plus four bonus stories) let you decide. Great short reading for travel, leisure, or any occasion where you need to conscipuously ignore the person next to you. Short-short stories, humor, around 5500 words.
    Asphalt and Dragonflies    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: Free! 2990 words. Published on April 22, 2012. Fiction.
    (4.00 from 1 review)
    Part Rod Serling and part Flannery O'Connor: even as a dying old man fights to ensure that not a scrap of his body survives his passing, a storm-addled plague of insects forces him to reknit the memory of his one true love. Short story, literay, around 3000 words.
    Auto-De-Fe    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: Free! 8280 words. Published on September 2, 2011. Fiction.
    Two young friends are united by a crappy old car, dead-end summer jobs, and the endless desire to escape from tedium into the big wide world. One breaks free and gets the girl; the other gets an empty garage and a valuable lesson. Short story: humor, coming of age, around 8200 words.
    Golf Tips Digest Presents: Double-Bogey of Death!!!    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: $0.99 USD. 970 words. Published on July 10, 2011. Fiction.
    (5.00 from 1 review)
    Golf Tips Digest Presents: Double-Bogey of Death!!! (Free with every paid subscription to "Golf Tips Digest"!!!) With the tips he gets with his paid subscription to "Golf Tips Digest," will the mysterious "new guy in town" conquer the back nine - and more??? The pecking order at the clubhouse will never be the same. Short story humor - 1000 words or so - guaranteed to improve your swing.
    The PBS Painter's Tale    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: $0.99 USD. 2370 words. Published on May 23, 2011. Fiction.
    (5.00 from 2 reviews)
    He can paint happy dreamy landscapes in 30 minutes or less -- guaranteed! -- but can he convince his broody teenaged son that the real world is anything other than a cruddy, joyless hellhole? Inspired by (but not depicting) the great Bob Ross. Because every happy little tree needs a friend, and everyone needs to remember there are beautiful places even in a busy world.
    Anaximander's Bottle    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: $0.99 USD. 6770 words. Published on May 10, 2011. Fiction.
    A mind-bending tale: as space-time unknits, a mad Prussian scientist seeks the inspiration of his Valkyrie and retreats to the protection of his 'ontological citadels' to preserve reality - or perhaps remake it in his image.
    Class Warfare at the Convenience Store    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: Free! 4160 words. Published on April 16, 2011. Fiction.
    (2.00 from 2 reviews)
    When a burgeoning municipality sets out to annex a strip of land previously considered to be the sticks, the locals have to find the means to fight back.
    The Werewolfening of Taffney St. Cloud    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: $0.99 USD. 10590 words. Published on March 19, 2011. Fiction.
    Continuing the horror parody begun in "The Vampirenization of Taffney St. Cloud." A buxom alabaster slayer who works in her mother's hair salon must defend Sunvalleydale from undead activity and a zombie pyramid scheme, all on the eve of the Harvest Moon Ball. Will the world will be saved in time for a dance in the Community College gym? Brooding aplenty, but no dark-soled shoes allowed.
    In Prison    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: Free! 3560 words. Published on March 8, 2011. Fiction.
    (3.00 from 1 review)
    Set sometime in the near future, a man picks up a lost cell phone by the side of the road and suddenly finds himself arrested and shuttled through a maze of prisons in a distopic, post-war United States.
    Zen and Loathing with the Gatsby's    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: Free! 7480 words. Published on March 6, 2011. Fiction.
    Set in Europe of the 1920's and 30's, a monied American expatriate moves in social circles with the luminaries of the day and comes to terms with the emptiness of his theosophical dabblings, even as his personal life spirals out of control. Excerpted from "Prometheus Fit To Be Tied." Short story, literary, around 7500 word.
    The Vampirening of Taffney St. Cloud    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: $0.99 USD. 7370 words. Published on February 24, 2011. Fiction.
    A broody suburban girl copes with her recent vampirening. Or is it vampirification? Having bit of fun at the expense of a popular genre.
    Prometheus Fit To Be Tied    by Paul Hawkins
    Price: Free! 89830 words. Published on February 7, 2011. Fiction.
    (5.00 from 1 review)
    Recounting 1939, the birth of a superpower, the twilight of a mostly rural America, and the misbegotten adventures of the last man in the world to know everything except what to do with himself. Comedy, romance, and drama unfold when a dissipated millionaire returns from Europe to his childhood home just in time to interfere with a rural electrifcation project and reawaken the town's old secrets.

    Paul Hawkins’s tag cloud

    1920s    1933    1939    1960s    ali foreman    alt future    america    anaximander    angels    angst    annexation    apeiron    big swords    biting    blimp    boondoggle    brooding    brooks brothers    cadillac    car graveyard    cars    castle    cat    chimp    chinese    college credit    comedy    coming of age    convenience store    cosmic    cowley    craigslist    crappy job    cronies    death    depression    digest    dirigible    distopia    dragonflies    drama    dream vision    dystopia    egypt    electrification    electrons    end of the world    eschatology    expatriate    fish    for your own good    funny    future    gators    germans    girl    golden child    golf    gripey old men    happy    hemingway    highway    hippies    hot    hot dog    human hope    humor    humour    ipads    iphones    ipods    karnak    kraken    landscapes    leviathan    light rail    limiter    limitless    lincoln brigade    love    mad    moby dick    moody    moody beatnik    mr perfect    murder    nihilism sucks    nondead    nongrasping    occupy    oil bust    oklahoma    ontological    ooh scary    painter    panama hat    paris    parody    pbs    personal ads    philippines    picaresque    postapocalpyse    prison state    protest    prussian    quantum    quickeemart    reflections    rich    river    road construction    romance    rural    satire    shortshort    space    space age    storm    stuff happens    stupid    suburbs    tail fins    tailfins    theosophical    theosophist    theosophy    time    time travel    tips    totalitarian    traffic jams    trees    undead    uptight    valkyrie    vampire    vampirening    vampirenization    vampires    vampirification    verdegris    wall street    west bank    woody guthrie    zeppelin    zombie    zoo   

    Paul Hawkins's favorite authors on Smashwords