Paul Hawkins

Publisher info

American author. I am happy to be a child of the space age and I still set my sights on great things. I put humor in everything I write because that is my disposition. If I chronicle the 20th century it is only because I have not given up on the 21st.

Where to find Paul Hawkins online

Website: http://www.phawkins.com
Twitter: hawkblog
Facebook: Facebook profile

Publisher of



Manners and Murders: A Chinese Fairy Tale of the Stars and Bars
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Price: Free! Words: 7,510. Language: English. Published: February 26, 2013 by Paul Hawkins. Category: Fiction » Fantasy » General
A young man in a totalitarian state gets a surprise visit from his mysterious uncle, who invokes subversive memories of a place once called "America."
Diary from the Wall Street Occupation!
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Price: Free! Words: 1,830. Language: English. Published: October 13, 2011 by Paul Hawkins. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
(4.00)
Three days in the life of a student protesting the plight of the poor from her iPad and iPhone. iPity, iSympathize, iProtest, then iGoBacktoMyPrivateCollege. Because iCare.

Books

The Altruist
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Price: Free! Words: 1,110. Language: English. Published: December 26, 2013. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
Spurned by love he dedicated himself to a love of all things - but would she notice him now? (Deep sigh.) Short short - 1K words.
My Summer, Myself, My Student Loan Debt - A Post-Graduate Confession
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Price: Free! Words: 1,590. Language: English. Published: November 6, 2013. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
(4.00 from 1 review)
A disillusioned young man, graduated with no hope for the future and with mountains of student loan debt, resigns himself to the life of the house-bound unemployed until he answers the siren's song of Truck Training School.
Highway Man
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Price: Free! Words: 27,470. Language: English. Published: October 11, 2013. Category: Fiction » Literature » Literary
A man in charge of building roads, from the Depression to the Space Age, fences himself off from his humanity tighter than the bands of gray that lattice the land. Humor, pathos. A novella - 27K words. Formerly published as "Shepherd Creed."
Manners and Murders: A Chinese Fairy Tale of the Stars and Bars
By
Price: Free! Words: 7,510. Language: English. Published: February 26, 2013 by Paul Hawkins. Category: Fiction » Fantasy » General
A young man in a totalitarian state gets a surprise visit from his mysterious uncle, who invokes subversive memories of a place once called "America."
Angels and Electrons: A Sub-Suburb Tale
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Price: Free! Words: 49,940. Language: English. Published: November 17, 2012. Category: Fiction » Literature » Literary
Murder, mayhem, deep depression, and an attempt to contact angels or aliens - all in the wake of Oklahoma's oil bust of the 1980's. Germans, plans of apokalypse, a forgotten World War II invention, and the faint possibility of redempton - all a stone's throw from the baitshop and the trailer park.
SNAPPED! Four (Plus) Comic Tales of the “Little Guy” vs. The System
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Price: Free! Words: 17,170. Language: English. Published: September 9, 2012. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
Even felt pushed too far? These guys did. Four (plus) comic shorts chronicle the misadventures of average joes who got pushed too far by the system. Mayhem, heroism, and comic vengefulness ensue. Includes: “Middleburg - A Zeppelin-Friendly Community”; “Punchasfish”; “Zoomobile 3000”; and “High Crimes and Misdemeanors" plus bonus stories. Have a laugh - it's okay to root against the overdog.
The Party at the End of the World – A Dream Vision and Fragment
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Price: Free! Words: 1,260. Language: English. Published: August 19, 2012. Category: Fiction » Literature » Visionary & metaphysical
Short fiction - 1000 words. A dream vision and fragment of the day after the end of the world. A light comes from the long-abandoned downtown and the party at the end of the world begins. Quasi-religious, post-apokalytic, a fragment you might find on a scrap of paper in the derelict downtown of any industrial city -- a notion of what happens when the world comes to an end but you're still here.
Zoomobile 3000
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Price: Free! Words: 2,020. Language: English. Published: July 14, 2012. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
A chimp won in a hand of poker leads to the fulfillment of a man's life-long dream and then unlocks a destiny greater than he could have ever imagined. Humor, around 2000 words.
Nihilism Sucks: Of Human Hope and Larry’s Hail Mary Pass in the Craigslist Personals
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Price: Free! Words: 3,550. Language: English. Published: July 9, 2012. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
Nine comic short-shorts deleted at the last moment from "Leaves of Grass" by an alternate timeline Walt Whitman. What was he thinking?!? His loss is your gain. For a limited time only this rare collection can be yours for free! Take that, Nietzsche, you worn-out grumpus. Life is funny. Includes the title story, "The Wishing Bird," "Phil Lamont: Attorney for the Damned," and more!
High Crimes and Mr. Wieners
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Price: Free! Words: 5,700. Language: English. Published: July 7, 2012. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
When a local kid's TV show personality and his seven trained dachshunds get kicked to the curb in favor of generic PBS programming, the discovery of a hotdog-man suit in a fast food dumpster leads to a new career as a costumed crime fighter (hey, dogs have to eat). And will the lady in his life discover his secret? Okay, let's admit it - there is no lady in his life - just lots of mooched wifi.
Punchafish
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Price: Free! Words: 2,220. Language: English. Published: June 22, 2012. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
In the tradition of "Moby Dick," "The Old Man and the Sea" and the great Ali-Foreman bout of 1974 comes a man vs fish story for the 21st century. It's survival of the fittest for George Miller, a down-and-out working stiff who has to beat the odds (and a really big fish) to reclaim his dignity. Short story, humor, around 2000 words.
Middleburg: a Zeppelin-Friendly Community
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Price: Free! Words: 2,000. Language: English. Published: June 20, 2012. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
When an army-surplus dirigible goes on sale, Enzo Fabrioli jumps at the chance to make his city a happier place by providing a soothing, floating solution to commuter traffic jams. But the stakeholders in the local light rail boondoggle see it as a call to arms. Only one side can win, and the city power brokers have seldom met the likes of Enzo. Short story, humor, around 2000 words.
A Cure for All Known Diseases
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Price: Free! Words: 840. Language: English. Published: June 5, 2012. Category: Fiction » Literature » Literary
(4.00 from 1 review)
Short literary fiction: Set in the 1933 Philippines: a woman yearns for something more from life while her doctor husband longs to make the world a safer, tidier place.
Short and Stupid: Ten Somewhat Dark Short Stories for a Rainy Day
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Price: Free! Words: 5,810. Language: English. Published: June 5, 2012. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
(4.50 from 2 reviews)
Now with four bonus stories! Is man by nature evil, or stupid, or both? These ten short-short stories (plus four bonus stories) let you decide. Great short reading for travel, leisure, or any occasion where you need to conscipuously ignore the person next to you. Short-short stories, humor, around 5500 words.
Auto-De-Fe
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Price: Free! Words: 8,280. Language: English. Published: September 2, 2011. Category: Fiction » Literature » Literary
Two young friends are united by a crappy old car, dead-end summer jobs, and the endless desire to escape from tedium into the big wide world. One breaks free and gets the girl; the other gets an empty garage and a valuable lesson. Short story: humor, coming of age, around 8200 words.
Golf Tips Digest Presents: Double-Bogey of Death!!!
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Price: Free! Words: 970. Language: English. Published: July 10, 2011. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
(5.00 from 1 review)
Golf Tips Digest Presents: Double-Bogey of Death!!! (Free with every paid subscription to "Golf Tips Digest"!!!) With the tips he gets with his paid subscription to "Golf Tips Digest," will the mysterious "new guy in town" conquer the back nine - and more??? The pecking order at the clubhouse will never be the same. Short story humor - 1000 words or so - guaranteed to improve your swing.
The PBS Painter's Tale
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Price: Free! Words: 2,370. Language: English. Published: May 23, 2011. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
(5.00 from 2 reviews)
He can paint happy dreamy landscapes in 30 minutes or less -- guaranteed! -- but can he convince his broody teenaged son that the real world is anything other than a cruddy, joyless hellhole? Inspired by (but not depicting) the great Bob Ross. Because every happy little tree needs a friend, and everyone needs to remember there are beautiful places even in a busy world.
Anaximander's Bottle
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Price: Free! Words: 6,770. Language: English. Published: May 10, 2011. Category: Fiction » Science fiction » General
A mind-bending tale: as space-time unknits, a mad Prussian scientist seeks the inspiration of his Valkyrie and retreats to the protection of his 'ontological citadels' to preserve reality - or perhaps remake it in his image.
Class Warfare at the Convenience Store
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Price: Free! Words: 4,160. Language: English. Published: April 16, 2011. Category: Fiction » Literature » Literary
(2.00 from 2 reviews)
When a burgeoning municipality sets out to annex a strip of land previously considered to be the sticks, the locals have to find the means to fight back.
The Werewolfening of Taffney St. Cloud
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Series: Taffney St. Cloud, Book 2. Price: Free! Words: 10,590. Language: English. Published: March 19, 2011. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
(5.00 from 1 review)
Continuing the horror parody begun in "The Vampirenization of Taffney St. Cloud." A buxom alabaster slayer who works in her mother's hair salon must defend Sunvalleydale from undead activity and a zombie pyramid scheme, all on the eve of the Harvest Moon Ball. Will the world will be saved in time for a dance in the Community College gym? Brooding aplenty, but no dark-soled shoes allowed.
In Prison
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Price: Free! Words: 3,560. Language: English. Published: March 8, 2011. Category: Fiction » Literature » Alternative history
(3.00 from 1 review)
Set sometime in the near future, a man picks up a lost cell phone by the side of the road and suddenly finds himself arrested and shuttled through a maze of prisons in a distopic, post-war United States.
Zen and Loathing with the Gatsby's
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Price: Free! Words: 7,480. Language: English. Published: March 6, 2011. Category: Fiction » Literature » Literary
Set in Europe of the 1920's and 30's, a monied American expatriate moves in social circles with the luminaries of the day and comes to terms with the emptiness of his theosophical dabblings, even as his personal life spirals out of control. Excerpted from "Prometheus Fit To Be Tied." Short story, literary, around 7500 word.
The Vampirening of Taffney St. Cloud
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Series: Taffney St. Cloud, Book 1. Price: Free! Words: 7,370. Language: English. Published: February 24, 2011. Category: Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
(5.00 from 1 review)
A broody suburban girl copes with her recent vampirening. Or is it vampirification? Having bit of fun at the expense of a popular genre.
Prometheus Fit To Be Tied
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Price: Free! Words: 89,830. Language: English. Published: February 7, 2011. Category: Fiction » Literature » Literary
(4.33 from 3 reviews)
Recounting 1939, the birth of a superpower, the twilight of a mostly rural America, and the misbegotten adventures of the last man in the world to know everything except what to do with himself. Comedy, romance, and drama unfold when a dissipated millionaire returns from Europe to his childhood home just in time to interfere with a rural electrifcation project and reawaken the town's old secrets.

Paul Hawkins’s tag cloud

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