Location: South Africa
Member Since: April 18, 2010
4 users have added this author as a favorite.

Ian Martin


Biography

Now I understand why my muse waited until I was 50 before giving me the nod. Mainstream publishers would never have touched the stuff I write. Years of humiliation and disappointment might have been too much for me to bear, and maybe I would have succumbed to full-blown alcoholism and drug addiction, and ended up by committing suicide. To save me from such a fate my muse held back until technology advanced to the point where I could safely sidestep those obscurantist gatekeepers trying to prevent me from getting to my readers. Now I can write what I like, put it up on Smashwords, and share the contents of my mind with anyone discerning enough to enjoy a certain brand of dark humour.

Where to find Ian Martin online

Website: http://www.ianmartintheauthor.com
Facebook: Facebook profile

Where to buy in print

http://www.amazon.com/Ian-Martin/e/B003P9U44K/ref=ntt_athr_dp_pel_1

Books

The Farmer from Paypalia    by Ian Martin
Price: $0.99 USD. 1760 words. Published on March 15, 2012. Fiction.
The filthy farmer from Paypalia is rudely interrupted by a visit from the morality police... This story was written in response to the aborted attempt by PayPal to censor the work of writers of erotica.
Henry Fuckit's First Expedition    by Ian Martin
Price: $0.99 USD. 30900 words. Published on January 19, 2012. Fiction.
Henry embarks on his first expedition, to Namibia, in search of Oxyaston. There he find inept doctors, Swapo sympathisers, a black cook named Angus, drunk policemen and a beautiful women behind a keyhole.
Gotcha!    by Ian Martin
Price: $0.99 USD. 3470 words. Published on July 5, 2011. Fiction.
(3.00 from 5 reviews)
It’s another suffocating day in hell and Lady isn’t wearing much. When she surprises a peeping Tom at her bedroom window she is consumed with furious indignation. The unfortunate gardener is subjected to a lesson so sadistic and humiliating that he will wish his testicles had never descended, let alone instruct him to play the voyeur. It’s rough justice for this dirty little pig.
Henry Fuckit Kills Time    by Ian Martin
Price: $0.99 USD. 25940 words. Published on April 19, 2011. Nonfiction.
When Henry blunders into the job of storeman in the Simonstown naval dockyard, he has no intention of doing any work. But he finds no one expects him to lift a finger. To alleviate the boredom of a futile existence Henry and his indolent colleagues while away the hours by drinking Vrotters, engaging in pseudophilosophical discussion and quasi scientific research using misappropriated naval stores.
Henry Fuckit Goes South    by Ian Martin
Price: $0.99 USD. 35750 words. Published on March 16, 2011. Fiction.
(5.00 from 1 review)
Young Henry Fuckit has moved to Cape Town after leaving the private lunatic asylum where he grew up. He soon discovers he has entered a world as crazy as the madhouse he just left. In part two of The Life Of Henry Fuckit, Ian Martin continues the ridiculous saga that describes his alter ego’s journey from the cradle to the grave. This is pseudo-philosophical comedy at its very best.
Henry Fuckit Leaves the Womb    by Ian Martin
Price: Free! 11530 words. Published on January 18, 2011. Fiction.
(5.00 from 1 review)
Raised by three of the brightest minds of the century (only a little deranged), Henry O'Riley grows up at a private lunatic asylum in the African bush. Deciding that life is merely a pastime and not worthy of serious commitment, Henry decides to become a dabbler, and changes his surname to Fuckit. Henry Leaves the Womb deals with Henry's first 18 years, and is part one of The Life of Henry Fuckit.
Kikaffir - a Black Comedy    by Ian Martin
Price: $2.99 USD. 59810 words. Published on December 23, 2010. Fiction.
0.5 star(4.44 from 9 reviews)
The human race is all but extinct, having dwindled to a few bands of warring desperadoes. On his way back from a foraging trip to the abandoned city of Joburg, Mike Mbethi encounters a hermit living in a cave. The old visionary is persuaded to look into the future, and he reveals that Mike is soon to become leader of the Kikaffir crew. Unimpressed, Mike dismisses the hermit as an old fraud. But..
Henry's Nursing Notes    by Ian Martin
Price: $0.99 USD. 18290 words. Published on May 16, 2010. Nonfiction.
(5.00 from 1 review)
Ian Martin spent three years as a hospital orderly and kept a ward diary chronicling the sights, sounds and smells that assailed him. Based on this record, "Henry Fuckit's Nursing Notes" is an unflinching account of nursing the sick and dying. Looking through the eyes of his disreputable hero, Martin uses a brutal blend of cynicism and dark humour to describe a world of suffering and pathos.
POP-splat    by Ian Martin
Price: $2.99 USD. 48370 words. Published on April 24, 2010. Fiction.
0.25 star(4.25 from 4 reviews)
A prominent businessman is murdered in an apparent hijacking. For Matt Dreyer the death of his father seems like murder most foul. This disturbed Hamlet of the 21st century sets off on a tortuous and bloody hell ride to track down his father’s killers. Ian Martin's POP-Splat looks at today’s South Africa through cynical eyes and uses his unique brand of sick humor to satirize a sick society.

Ian Martin’s tag cloud

absurd    action    action thriller    africa    ak47    apartheid    apocalypse    autobiography    aw whitehead    bestiality    biography    black comedy    boarding house    boredom    camus    cannibalism    cape town    colt special    comedy    coprophilia    corpse    crime thriller    cruelty    death    despair    diary    disease    dockyard    doctor    dystopian    einstein    erotica    existential    existential angst    existentialism    explicit sex    femdom    fiction    first fuck    florence nightingale    henry bergson    henry fuckit    hippocratic oath    hospital    humour    ian martin    illness    incest    journal    latin tag    literature    magnum    medical    namibia    necrophilia    niebelungenlied    nurse    nursing    patient    philosophical    philosophy    pornography    porter    postapocalyptic    proust    psycho    psychopath    racism    rape    sadism    satire    sex    sick humor    sick humour    sickness    smith wesson    social satire    suicide    transgressive    transgressive fiction    university    university student    violence    violent    vrotters   

Ian Martin's favorite authors on Smashwords


Smashwords book reviews by Ian Martin

  • Followers of the Dead Man on Sep. 07, 2011
    star star star star star
    “Still, if one walks two steps forward, then two steps back, the more tiring of the two is the reverse.” This is just one of a multitude of Haritharan-amoks. G Haritharan runs amok with the English language, and it’s incredibly entertaining. Even though the subject matter seems ridiculous to the point of total rubbish, it’s so fresh, funny and inventive you can’t stop reading. This guy’s got STYLE!