John Hartness

Biography

I'm a thirtysomething redneck writing about life, music, saving the world, degenerate gambling and anything else that strikes my fancy. You can visit my website to find out much more about me. http://johnhartness.com.

Where to find John Hartness online


Where to buy in print


Books

Tassels of Terror
By
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 8,000. Language: English. Published: May 21, 2012. Category: Fiction » Horror » Occult
"Cross Larry the Cable Guy with The Dresden Files, and you have Bubba the Monster Hunter" Bubba's back, and this time it's personal! A mysterious fire destroyed a topless club in South Carolina, and Bubba must get to the bottom of the mystery and rescue a missing stripper before more bloodshed ensues. A timeless story of love and pole dancers by the author of Voodoo Children and Ho-Ho-Homicide.
Love Stinks - A Bubba the Monster Hunter Short Story
By
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 6,510. Language: English. Published: May 21, 2012. Category: Fiction » Horror » Occult
"Cross Larry the Cable Guy with The Dresden Files, and you have Bubba the Monster Hunter" Bubba's back! There's a cupid on the loose in a nursing home, and he's wreaking havoc with broken hips, high blood pressure and horny octogenarians! Can Bubba and his pistol-packing nun sidekick save the day before the cupid plants a magic arrow in our favorite Monster Hunter?
Ho-Ho-Homicide - A Bubba the Monster Hunter Short Story
By
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 7,040. Language: English. Published: May 21, 2012. Category: Fiction » Horror » Occult
Bubba's back and this time he's in costume! Everybodys favorite redneck monster hunter goes undercover as a mall Santa to get to the bottom of a series of mysterious murders. Along the way he encounters snotty kids, annoying mothers, a smokin' hot elf, the spirit of Christmas and a tribe of fairies that would rather make war than toys!
Hall & Goats - A Bubba the Monster Hunter Short Story
By
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 11,430. Language: English. Published: May 21, 2012. Category: Fiction » Horror » Occult
Bubba's back, and this time he's chasing a creature he can't even pronounce! A mysterious creature called a chupacabra is attacking livestock in Florida, and Bubba's on the case! But there's someone else investigating this chimichanga, too! Who is it? Is she hot? Will Bubba get her naked before the story is over? And what the hell is Bubba doing hunting chalupas in a dry county?
Gone Daddy Gone - A Black Knight Chronicles Short Story
By
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 5,590. Language: English. Published: May 21, 2012. Category: Fiction » Fantasy » Short stories
In this Black Knight Chronicles prequel, the boys help a beautiful woman with her zombie problem and help her daughter with an inheritance problem. Includes a free Black Knight short story - Turkey Day Debacle, a hilarious Thanksgiving adventure featuring the Black Knight Investigations crew.
Cat Scratch Fever - A Bubba the Monster Hunter Short Story
By
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 9,180. Language: English. Published: May 21, 2012. Category: Fiction » Horror » Occult
"Cross Larry the Cable Guy with The Dresden Files, and you have Bubba the Monster Hunter" Bubba the Monster Hunter returns in a love story for the ages! Okay, not really. But there are big guns, bar fights, cheap women, cheaper beer, even cheaper one-liners, and a six-foot tiger taking a leak on a headstone. No really, that last part happened.
Black Magic Woman - A Black Knight Chronicles Short Story
By
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 6,250. Language: English. Published: May 21, 2012. Category: Fiction » Fantasy » Short stories
It's the annual comic convention - what can go wrong? You just had to ask, didn't you? The boys from Black Knight Investigations get tangled up in more than they ever bargained for when they try to help a lost kid find his dad. Hilarity does not ensue when an ancient soul-sucker shows up to drain the local nerd population of vitality and life energy.
Ballet of Blood - A Bubba the Monster Hunter Short Story
By
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 9,570. Language: English. Published: May 21, 2012. Category: Fiction » Horror » Occult
He's back and badder than ever. Bubba the Monster Hunter returns in the hilarious follow-up to Voodoo Children. In Ballet of Blood, Bubba has to investigate a mysterious touring dance troupe that of course turns out to be more than he expected. Bubba, backed up as always by the hilarious Skeeter, has to make do with his wits and what weapons he can find backstage at a theatre to save the day!
Knight (un)Life - A Black Knight Short Story Collection
By
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 22,260. Language: English. Published: May 19, 2012. Category: Fiction » Fantasy » Urban
This collection of Black Knight Chronicles short stories features the ongoing adventures of Jimmy Black and Greg Knightwood (Hard Day's Knight, Back in Black, Knight Moves). Collected here for the first time are - "Gone Daddy Gone" "Movie Knight" "Black Magic Woman" "Turkey Day Debacle" This collection also includes the first chapter of Hard Day's Knight, Black Knight Chronicles Vol. 1
Headshot
By
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 46,470. Language: English. Published: May 19, 2012. Category: Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Spies & espionage
She's a black belt. She's a world-class sniper. She's a sophomore. Meet Cindy O'Shea, a normal high school student dealing with homework, a best friend who's a geek, a single mom with her own issues, and the toughest after-school job in the world. She's an assassin.
Monsters Beware - A Bubba the Monster Hunter Collection
By
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 34,680. Language: English. Published: May 19, 2012. Category: Fiction » Horror » General
"Cross Larry the Cable Guy with The Dresden Files, and you have Bubba the Monster Hunter" "Reminds be a bit of Ash from Army of Darkness" "Hartness spins another tale of redneck mayhem full of his usual sarcastic humor." He's big, he's bad and he's here to save the day. From the author of The Black Knight Chronicles comes a new series of supernatural comedy!
Voodoo Children - A Bubba the Monster Hunter Short Story
By
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 7,810. Language: English. Published: September 21, 2011. Category: Fiction » Fantasy » Urban
In this first Bubba the Monster Hunter story, everybody's favorite redneck is chasing zombies through the hills of Tennessee. Follow Bubba through beer joints, strip clubs and graveyards as he and his best helper Bertha (a .50 Desert Eagle Pistol) make sure that what's dead, stays dead.
Movie Knight - a Black Knight Short Story
By
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 6,200. Language: English. Published: September 9, 2011. Category: Fiction » Fantasy » Contemporary
(5.00)
In this Black Knight short story, Jimmy and Greg have a pleasant evening interrupted by a hungry chihuahua-demon who wants to turn a hospital into a buffet. The perfect intro to the series which begins with Hard Day's Knight
The Chosen
By
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 68,190. Language: English. Published: January 19, 2011. Category: Fiction » Fantasy » Contemporary
A cross-country road trip with angels, demons, immortals, smart-aleck waitresses and a whole lot of whiskey. Great for fans of Christopher Moore and Kevin Smith!
Red Dirt Boy
By
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 4,700. Language: English. Published: August 26, 2010. Category: Fiction » Poetry » American poetry
This is the second collection of poetry from an over-educated redneck with a potty mouth. Topics covered include lying, drinking, cheating, strippers, guns, loving, losing living and dying. You know, the stuff all good country music is written about.

John Hartness’s tag cloud

adam    angel    beer    black knight chronicles    bubba    charlotte    chupacabra    comedy    comic convention    country    cupid    detective    detectives    devil    espionage    eve    fairies    fairy    geek    hillbilly    horror    humor    immortal    kidnapping    lucifer    monster hunter    murder    poetry    rakshasa    redneck    satire    short story    southern literature    stripper    strippers    succubus    suspense    teen    tequila    thriller    urban fantasy    vampire    vampire detective    vampire series    vampires    werewolf    werewolves    witchcraft    zombie