Betsy Talbot

It was last year and I was writing a book about overcoming fear, and it was not going well. The words were not flowing, and the few that did make it through were – to put it bluntly – shit. After 30,000 nuggets of shit, I decided to call a halt to this project. I wasn’t fully into it, and the results showed. I just couldn’t get worked up about fear. Things were not happy at the House of Talbot because writing a book is why we settled down in Thailand in the first place.

Then things got real: my friend Donna was murdered by her ex-husband. And the political climate in the US became overtly anti-woman as the political races heated up. Some of my closest friends and family members were undergoing significant personal issues because of their inability to speak honestly and clearly in their relationships, businesses, and communities.

It finally dawned on me that fear wasn’t the problem because fear never leaves us. Conquer one fear and you’ll quickly find another – we all know that. The problem is really a lack of confidence, the inner fire that comes from living your authentic self, speaking your truth, and demanding respect from others, including yourself. Especially yourself. When you have this, you can face fear on a regular basis with a pretty good result.

The Voices of Fear were really fun to write. It was the first time my inner Drama Queen has had full reign over my mind in many years, and she did not disappoint. Everyone has at least a few of these voices, though we tend to rely on a dominant one to rule our fears.

I'm definitely the Drama Queen, dreaming up scenarios worthy of an Oscar for every little thing. I've learned to temper it over time, even using it for entertainment now, but for many years it really ruled my life. Every headache was cancer, a missed call was the sign of trouble in a relationship, and an unreturned email meant I was going to be fired.

It's a tough way to live, and there is no booting those guys out of your head. But once you recognize them for what they are instead of what they want you to think they are, you can simply be a bystander to their activity and not a victim to their torment.