Location: United Kingdom
Member Since: Feb. 13, 2015

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Milthy Swinebuckle

Biography

Me born many moons ago.

Me never seen sun

Me very clever.

Me like custard...mmm

Me also like picking nose...GREAT FUN...find all sorts of stuff

Me also a certified quantum physicist. This me job.

Me once find piece of cardboard in nose....GRRRRrrrrr...This not fun

Me like watching radio...as of yet, no pictures, but me keep fingers crossed

Me sometimes talk to me...sometimes me answers back...Me also can be cheeky sod...Me give me slap in mouth...Me not so mouthy now are me!!!

Me hate cardboard...Why so brown

P.S...Why me talk like ape-man?

Me confused!

Smashwords Interview

When did you first start writing?
About ten minutes ago.
What book marketing techniques have been most effective for you?
Me wait till people walk past me house. Then me throw me books at their heads....! Not too sure if this technique works...but it is fun!
Read more of this interview.

Books

The Triceratops by
Price: Free! Words: 150. Language: English. Published: September 26, 2018 . Categories: Poetry » U.K. Poetry, Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
Short poem about bumping into a couple of dinosaurs while out walking! The image used for this poem (the Triceratops skull) was provided by dinosaur replicas... A site were you can buy some amazing models of dinosaur skulls... Check it out on here... https://www.shapeways.com/shops/bob-s-3d-stall
Conspiracy of a Conspiracy Wrapped Inside a Conspiracy Theory by
Price: Free! Words: 760. Language: English. Published: August 5, 2018 . Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Parody
It's been proven that not all conspiracy theories you hear are totally accurate. In fact you'll be both surprised and shocked to learn that only 84% of all conspiracy theories are actually true. However, what I'm about to disclose on here, right now, this very second, the stuff that your eyes will see and your brain will decipher, will totally blow away your tiny mind!
Who Hell Me? by
Price: Free! Words: 690. Language: English. Published: February 24, 2017 . Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy
(2.00 from 1 review)
Some stories just can't be explained... Though this probably isn't one of them!
Let God Be My Witness by
Price: Free! Words: 40. Language: English. Published: September 22, 2016 . Categories: Fiction » Inspirational, Fiction » Visionary & metaphysical
(4.50 from 2 reviews)
A short story about truth... Actually I lied... It's about wearing your under-crackers on your head! Perhaps! Then perhaps not!
Doobie Of Death by
Price: Free! Words: 2,180. Language: English. Published: February 26, 2016 . Categories: Fiction » Thriller & suspense » General
(3.00 from 2 reviews)
Although in stature and physique the man was nothing, he was powerful. His power lay in some frivolous little country on the borders of Russia, and although not a superpower, could still hold its own in a world full of war and disease while simultaneously offering great riches to the wise and devious. There was one problem...The King...So the King would have to die!
Fucked (well and truly) by
Price: Free! Words: 670. Language: English. Published: May 13, 2015 . Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy, Fiction » Adventure » General
(2.50 from 2 reviews)
Who is the man in disguise? What horrible thing has he done? What are his motives? How will he be able to live with himself? The one thing we will find out, if nothing else, is what conclusion to the forthcoming inevitable dilemma the man offers up as a way of an apology!
Two poems and a stolen song by
Price: Free! Words: 330. Language: English. Published: March 15, 2015 . Categories: Fiction » Science fiction » Short stories, Poetry » U.K. Poetry
Two pieces of my rhyming scribbles. And a short song I wrote that was pinched by "WHO" knows WHO?
They Call Me Randy Stodgeflaps by
Price: Free! Words: 410. Language: English. Published: February 17, 2015 . Categories: Poetry » African Poetry, Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
A poem about a man called Randy Stodgeflaps!
THE EGG by
Price: Free! Words: 650. Language: English. Published: February 16, 2015 . Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy, Fiction » Humor & comedy » General
What is the egg. This story explores the secret question that only a few of us know about. A question greater than life itself. A question about the egg!
Stupid Bloody Bollicks by
Price: Free! Words: 160. Language: English. Published: February 13, 2015 . Categories: Poetry » U.K. Poetry
Poem...about the meaning of nothing!

Milthy Swinebuckle's tag cloud

a short story about truth actually i lied its about wearing your undercrackers on your head perhaps then perhaps not    aliens    assasasin    bollicks    boobs    chemtrails    conspiracy    dinosaur    doobie    egg    eh silly bizarre stupid    fuck fuckedy end arghhhhhh apocalypse    goverment    hell    hmmm er    me    toilet paper    triceratops    tyrannnosaurus    what who    who   

Milthy Swinebuckle's favorite authors on Smashwords

Taylor Evans
Latest book: Jack.
Published March 10, 2018.
Follow them on Twitter: @Lilslimpie
View their blog