Spiral Machines Press

Publisher info

Spiral Machines Press publishes books by the different pen-names of the author Matt Payne. This includes Johannes Paine and Matt Payne.

Where to find Spiral Machines Press online

The Righteous Book of Truth
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 26,010. Language: English. Published: June 4, 2021 by Spiral Machines Press. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy, Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire
Six Spectacular Shorts. More get-rich quick schemes, good advice, tales of paranoia, and visions of glory. Includes several paranoid Larry Grank stories, the Go Help Yourself series of personal-development essays, and more!
Dig, Gitwacks, Dig!
Price: $3.99 USD. Words: 27,660. Language: English. Published: June 3, 2021 by Spiral Machines Press. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy, Fiction » Thriller & suspense » Crime thriller
The Gitwack family turns to grave-robbing to escape poverty. But when they try to ransom a patriarch's corpse back to his rich family, they discover the bereaved brats are even crazier than them. The ominous presence of the fatherly corpse evokes unresolved emotional conflicts while an avenging daughter expresses her own damaged psyche through an inventive campaign of psychological torture.
Millenarianistic Chronodyke
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 78,390. Language: English. Published: August 14, 2020 by Spiral Machines Press. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy, Fiction » Themes & motifs » Political
Bizarre political parties clash in the city-state of Ethelcrest. An escaped convict rises to power in a party whose platform is nonsense. The disgraced mayor is plotting treason. A sexy dirtbike champ joins politics and encounters treachery at every turn. The Tech Nomads escalate from wifi raids to a digital magick coup. The Clown Party is driven to radical action. It's a weird comedy adventure.
Microcalypse
Price: $2.99 USD. Words: 12,310. Language: English. Published: April 7, 2020 by Spiral Machines Press. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire, Fiction » Visionary & metaphysical
You are controlled by your microbes, but who is in control of the microbes themselves?
The Adventure Poem of Julius Cinnamon
Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 61,920. Language: Canadian English. Published: July 29, 2017 by Spiral Machines Press. Categories: Fiction » Adventure » Action, Fiction » Science fiction » Adventure
Assaulted by petty peers, his empire cannibalized from within, Julius Cinnamon must find out who seeks the destruction of his wondrous Agartha. He has a lust for life and a plan that could change the world. His sense of loyalty is matched only by his capacity for revenge. Jump into an unprecedented adventure story.
Ten Ways To Make Money Fast
Series: Go Help Yourself. Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 2,430. Language: English. Published: July 8, 2016 by Spiral Machines Press. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire, Nonfiction » Self-improvement » Personal Growth / Success
Everybody needs money, but not everybody is as smart as you. More importantly, not everybody has this scientifically-normalized "How-To-Guide" for step-by-step money-making. Mathematically, there are steps you can take to actually make more money. Leave your poor friends behind and say hello to your rich friends because you're (honestly) probably going to start making a lot of money really soon.
So You're Stuck in a Murder Mystery
Series: Go Help Yourself. Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 3,110. Language: English. Published: July 8, 2016 by Spiral Machines Press. Categories: Fiction » Mystery & detective » Amateur sleuth, Nonfiction » Self-improvement » Time Management
Life is full of horrible surprises. And if you ever find yourself trapped in a mansion with your friends getting butchered by an unidentified maniac, you'll have no idea how to respond. This step-by-step how-to guide will make it easy for even the stupidest idiot to maneuver through such an unfolding crime, and to deal with the legal process that will inevitably follow.
The Profit
Series: Go Help Yourself. Price: $1.99 USD. Words: 3,210. Language: English. Published: July 7, 2016 by Spiral Machines Press. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Satire, Nonfiction » Self-improvement » Motivation & inspiration
These short fables by self-proclaimed guru Matt Payne describe how we can all transform our lives by earning more profits. The fancy language and amoral tone will delight even the winniest of clyptics.
The Paranoid Adventures of Larry Grank
Price: $3.00 USD. Words: 21,230. Language: English. Published: July 5, 2014 by Spiral Machines Press. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy, Fiction » Horror » Occult
The universe is full of mystery and Larry has the inside scoop. In this collection Larry uncovers secrets about multiple antichrists, alien conspiracies, the Liquid Cult, Jewish people, and exorcism.
Robot God / Hybrid Brain
Price: $4.99 USD. Words: 25,000. Language: English. Published: March 25, 2014 by Spiral Machines Press. Categories: Fiction » Science fiction » Cyberpunk, Fiction » Science fiction » Short stories
Tten mind-bending science fiction stories. Ranging from theory fiction to action/adventure, these surreal, psychedelic tales will stretch your perspective and squeeze your heart.
Sick Book of Lies
Price: $3.00 USD. Words: 29,270. Language: English. Published: January 22, 2014 by Spiral Machines Press. Categories: Fiction » Humor & comedy » Black comedy, Fiction » Themes & motifs » Spiritual & metaphysical
A gruesome grimoire of hilarious anecdotes, wonderful tales, impossible bullshit, and good advice. As well as sorcery, spiritual insight, get-rich-quick schemes, and ancient wisdom. Pretty much x-rated.
Real Hector on Mystery Morning
Price: $0.99 USD. Words: 4,750. Language: English. Published: October 28, 2013 by Spiral Machines Press. Categories: Fiction » Holiday » Adventure, Fiction » Christian » Contemporary
Greg's brother Hector is overseas for their family's special holiday. So they make a new Hector to take his place, but he turns out to be more real than they planned...

Series

Go Help Yourself
How do you find your way when every turn is wrought with terror and confusion? How can you find a relationship with God and the economy? Would you like to free yourself from the shackles of your own weakness? Put behind your old life and step into the never-ending future with all my amazing books of TRANSFORMATION!!!
The Profit
Price: $1.99 USD.

Smashwords book reviews by Spiral Machines Press

  • The Monster on Dec. 30, 2011

    This is a fun little moster-tale. It would be good for kids.
  • Brain Waves: Secrets of Reality on May 28, 2012

    I really enjoy metaphysical musings from thoughtful people. That's what this is: stylistic metaphysical musings from someone with knowledge of science and insight into the mind. It's fun to read, aphoristic in the style of Nietzsche (though not as compelling... or devestating). A fun piece of introspection for anybody who has ever pondered consciousness and the universe. Honestly, stuff like this is the reason I bought an e-reader. Works of art that are totally worth reading, but which a publisher probably would never touch.