I really enjoyed reading this story. It has a good storyline with a lot of potential for followup. As others have said, dialog changes with no warning; making it hard to keep track who is talking. Example: Fainting Chapter 18 starts with Ali and Theo talking, but by the time Theo gets to the kitchen to talk to Victor, he's Riley. Then it switch right back to Ali.
I really hope the story continues, as I'd enjoy knowing if Theo gets saved and Mathew defeated.